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Podcast Episode 111: How to Stop Drama Without Losing your Cool

We’ve all experienced drama, right? Maybe we see our kids arguing and we want to step in to solve it, but aren’t quite sure how. 

Or when we do step in and solve it, the fight continues and we find ourselves mediating the same disagreement OVER and OVER again.

We can actually help make all of that stop! We share 5 simple steps to give your kids the knowledge they need (and confidence) to solve disagreements on their own.

In our class Calm & Happy Parenting, we teach the HAPPY framework.  We’re going to show you how to solve the problem of drama using the 5 steps of HAPPY.

Recognize the problem 

The first thing you need to do is to bring together the ones who are having the disagreement to allow them to find a solution. Your role is to make sure everyone is heard. Don’t lecture them. It can be difficult but refrain from saying something like, “This should be fun. Why are you making it an argument? ”

Let them speak

After the first kid has shared why they are upset, ask the other one to repeat what the first one said. Keep an eye out to make sure that they are just repeating what the first one said, and only that. Most kids will get defensive and instead of listening to the other side, will try to defend their stance. Sometimes they won’t even hear the real problem.

Rephrase what they said

This is where others can add their own viewpoints on the situation without sounding like they’re judging.  It’s all in how you rephrase it.

Help them come to a realistic solution

In our case, we were dealing with an argument over a group of 17 kids riding amusement park rides together. Let’s just be honest here… waiting for a group of 17 to all go on a ride wasn’t a realistic solution. As the adult, I had to help the kids understand that and keep them on task to use positive communication to find a realistic solution.  

In the end, it turned out their problem was caused by the adults giving permission without letting the girls communicate between themselves.

Step away from the problem

Let them implement what they decided on. Even if you don’t have the highest faith that it’ll work, let them give it a try- without you being involved.

And it’s as simple as that! Do you have a conflict that your kids keep having? Try these steps and then leave us a comment on how it worked out for you!

Resources We Shared:

Cozi Family Organizer App Free Family Organizer app

Patient Parenting Challenge Free 5 day event from No Guilt Mom

Calm & Happy Parenting Time to get your kids to listen and help out more without the fighting!  This is your complete solution to shift the responsibility of “doing everything for everyone” to your family and to give you the kind of relationship you want with your kids and the entire family!

The best mom is a happy mom. To better take care of you, download our No Guilt Mom mindset here .  These reminders will help you second guess less, and feel more confidence every day in your parenting.

Brie Tucker

COO/ Podcast Producer at No Guilt Mom
Brie Tucker has over 20 years of experience coaching parents with a background in early childhood and special needs. She holds a B.S. in Psychology from the University of Central Missouri and is certified in Positive Discipline as well as a Happiest Baby Educator.

She’s a divorced mom to two teenagers.

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