I don’t understand why you can’t just behave!
You say this to your kid. Maybe you scream it.
Because it seems like whatever you do, it is a constant power struggle with your child.
It’s 6:30am and already, every task is causing a tantrum.
“We have nothing I want to eat!”
“Bud. Its Ok, just pick something else.”
“No! I don’t want anything else.”
My 6-year-old son and I stand in the kitchen. We’re the only ones up. I look at the ceiling wiling my husband to get out of bed above me.
Middle school was complete hell.
When my daughter entered sixth grade this year, I was terrified.
I didn’t want her to think it was her fault that other people were mean to her. I wanted her to know how to confront problems and the typical, stupid ways that people would react.
Ways that had nothing to do with her.
Girl drama is one of those things.
“I can’t do it!
My gosh, there is nothing that hurts me more than hearing my kids say that. It’s not the give-up fast “can’t do it”.
Rather its said after comparing themselves with everyone else around them and thinking they suck.
I want to cry.
I want to hug my child, to hold her, but she pulls away.
No matter what I say.
No matter what I tell her.
She doesn’t believe me. I am completely and utterly wrong. Because I’m not there and I don’t see the other kids.
Meanwhile, I know that she’s being too hard on herself.
You walk in the door from school. Your nine-year-old comes in after you.
Everything seems fine. She’s happy. All is well and good.
Then, you remind her that the dishwasher needs unloading.
Boom. It’s like something inside her detonates.
“Noooo… I don’t have time to do that. That’s so unfair. I can’t believe you’re making me do this!:
She glares at you, stomps over to the kitchen sink and starts crying.
WHA-ATT just happened? She was happy. I didn’t blame her. I just had a simple request.
“Noooo… I can’t do it. I don’t have the time!!”
Have you heard this from your child when she sits down to do homework? My gosh, it wrecks me.
I can feel her overwhelm and so relate to it.
I know what it feels like to have so much to do and what seems like no time to do it.
So, I jump in and try to help.
“It’s ok sweetie, let’s write down all the things you have to do to get it out of your head.”
“NO!” she pouts back, “That won’t help. I don’t know any of this and I have to get started now.”
What do you do with that? You see the problem, you know the steps to take to fix it and yet your child pushes you away like you couldn’t possibly know what she’s talking about or what she’s dealing with.