Because the Best Mom is a Happy Mom
Do you feel like you’re too nice?
One of my students called me out for that my first year of teaching.
In her very astute, wise little fifth grade voice she told me, “Mrs. Crohn, you are too nice”
But wait… don’t you want to be nice? Isn’t that something to aim for?
Kind yes. But nice…nice is taking on the full responsibility of other people’s feelings and adapting your behavior to make others happy.
That’s what I was doing when an 11-year-old called me out.
In the midst of this strange season of social distancing and change, money may well be a scary topic for you. Maybe you’re like my family and you’re working through a big loss of income due to the pandemic? Maybe overwhelm and anxiety define your money situation in this season of uncertainty? Maybe you’ve decided to keep your head down and eyes closed, playing the “if I don’t look at it, then it can’t be real game” that our kids played when they were little?
As a mom, I put hobbies on the backburner.
I didn’t know I was doing it at the time. It wasn’t a conscious decision.
“I can’t do it!
My gosh, there is nothing that hurts me more than hearing my kids say that. It’s not the give-up fast “can’t do it”.
Rather its said after comparing themselves with everyone else around them and thinking they suck.
I want to cry.
I want to hug my child, to hold her, but she pulls away.
No matter what I say.
No matter what I tell her.
She doesn’t believe me. I am completely and utterly wrong. Because I’m not there and I don’t see the other kids.
Meanwhile, I know that she’s being too hard on herself.
I lost it. I broke down sobbing, stomped down the stairs, slammed the guest room door and buried my head under a pillow.
I wish I could say this an old tale – like from my teenage years. But no, it happened last weekend.
Let me explain.
Meal planning for picky eater is frustrating! This teaches your picky child how to plan healthy meals that they will actually eat.
It’s the fifth time your son has whined this morning.
The screeching sounds causes every single muscle in your neck to tighten. Your head feels dizzy. Seriously, whining kids could’ve been a form of medieval torture.
You take a deep breath and let it out.
You will not yell.
You will not yell.
You will not yell.
I stood there at the kitchen sink ready to scream.
My five-year-old son refused anything I suggested.
“Argh!!!!,” he cried as he flung himself down on the couch.
And me, oh I would do anything to get the screaming to stop.
Ever feel like you need to honor every request from your kids? They’re only young once that little voice says, of course, you should WANT to spend every minute with them. But, saying YES only makes you feel burnt out and resentful.
Here’s the fix.
Picture this.
You come home to dishes piled on the counter, your child’s clothes hamper overflowing with dirty clothes and the dog staring at you. telepathically trying to tell you she’s hungry.
No one else in your family seems to see it.
Your kids happily walk in after school, throw their stuff on the floor and think that the magical cleaning fairy somehow cleans it up.
Why can’t anyone in your family take the initiative to clean up but you?
I get that. I’ve felt that.
It’s not like you haven’t tried either. You’ve tried the pretty chore charts. You even offered to pay them!
But, nothing’s worked.
You may have been making the same mistake I was…
