Because the Best Mom is a Happy Mom
“I’m the worst mom”
I’ve told myself this more than once.
Yesterday, I was on the phone with my mom.
On the road to a Girl Scout leader’s meeting, I complained to her about a fight I had earlier in the day when I said, “I just feel like I’m failing all the time.”
“No,” my mom told me, “You’re not failing all the time. Look how much you do.”
It’s Sunday morning and you need to decompress.
You know you should relax. In fact, all these experts and psychologists tell you that you SHOULD carve out time to take care of yourself.
But what in the world do you do?
You are fed up. After doing so much for your kids, they still throw a tantrum when they don’t get their way. Here is how to change spoiled behavior in your kiddos.
Tell me if this sounds familiar.
Your child brings home a page of a page of double-digit subtraction problems.
You know… the kind where you have to “borrow” from the tens place to do the operation in the ones place.
You got this, you think…
But no, your kid politely informs you. You aren’t supposed to borrow. Instead, your child needs to use a method where he “counts up” from the number.
What in the world? This isn’t subtraction…at least not the way you learned it.
How are you expected to help your kid when the method doesn’t even make sense?
I make no secret that I struggle with anxiety and depression.
The constant rising feeling of panic I feel in my worst moments.
Combined with the belief that nothing I do will ever make a difference, so why even bother?
Oh ya, these thought patterns are real.
And can I say, they suck.
You might know what I’m talking about.
Not only do my thoughts make me feel horrible, but they also tamper with productivity, make me snap at my kids and overall make me not a nice person to be around.
When they’re at their worst, I rely on a simple system that I set up in my planner.
When we started my daughter in piano lessons at 4-years-old, I was excited.
You see, I had always wanted to be able to play piano.
Make no mistake, my parents signed me up for lessons. First through the local parks and rec, then through a private teacher when I got to high school.
I bordered on mediocre – mainly because I never practiced.
In high school, I saw the students who played piano beautifully and secretly envied their skill
They went to summer music camp in Boston, got offered college scholarships – all sorts of recognition. And here I was – too lazy to practice.
When my daughter started piano, I vowed that she wouldn’t be like me.
We’ve failed.
It’s not true.
In fact, my mom guilt comes from one of very many lies we tell ourselves in this modern day of parenting.
Lies that our decreasing our kid’s autonomy while increasing our rates of anxiety, depression and a whole host of other psychological disorders.
Ready for them?
Does it seem like your child has a lot more homework than you did at her age?
The vocabulary, the spelling, the math homework sheet and then the required 20 minutes of reading… all in first grade??
How can you possibly keep your child focused during it all?
I’ve learned one major thing about picking my kids up after school.
I cannot – by any means – ask them in any sort of cheery voice, “How was your day?”
My nine-year-old daughter recently told me that for some reason that question produces this fiery rage inside of her. She can’t explain it, but it makes her so mad.
I asked my husband about it that night and he said that the question has too many expectations attached to it. If someone really wants to know about your day, they will ask you directly with no fake cheer.
The cheer places too much of a burden on having a happy answer in response and that’s all fake.
OK, I get it.
But then, I realize that the response to anything I ask my kids to do after-school is met with groans and whines.
Why? Are your kids like this too?
Want to get homework organization under control this year? All you need is this simple box!
