Parenting

I stared at the complicated chore chart that my dad placed on our refrigerator.

42 cents for washing dishes. 20 cents for picking up my room.

When he first pitched this idea to my 10-year-old self, I wanted to do all the chores immediately.

This was my chance to earn $5 a week. Yes, I could do this!

So, I did the dishes. It took me 20 minutes and I didn’t even get enough money to buy a can of soda. Wouldn’t it be simpler to pull that red can of Coke out of our fridge?

That week, I completed a few boxes of chores from that monster list, collected my $1.15 and then ignored the list the next week.

Soon, the chore chart disappeared.

It was 6:30 AM on the first day back to school last year. I put my hand on my daughter’s fluffy floral comforter and shook her.

Gently, of course.

OK… OK… it was harder this time.  Because this was the fifth time I walked into her room that morning to pull her from bed.  This morning was close to becoming a chaotic mess.

My son stomps into my office upstairs. I’m staring at the computer trying to figure out what to write next.

His face is full pout.

“MOM! I told them I need a break!”

Uh oh. Usually when this happens, he’s prepping me for something – trying to convince me that he’s on the right side.

It’s a fight. I can feel it.

“Mom, can I invite a friend over today?”

I hesitate. I want her to be able to invite friends over, but today is simply jam packed.

Nope. Not today.

Five minutes later. “Mom, can I have a playdate?”

What the…? Didn’t I just answer this same question five minutes earlier?

It’s the fifth temper tantrum of the morning.

Your son is mad at you because you poured milk on his cereal when he only wanted it on the side.

Your daughter huffs past you in a little ball of rage because her brother is taking all the attention… AGAIN.

And you?

You are fed up.

Vitriol.

Anger.

All seemingly directed at me.

But its not about me. And its not about you either when your child turns on you with the rage of emotions and backtalk.

Every week, your daughter tells you of a new conflict with a particular friend at school. You are losing your mind and feel helpless. Here’s how to help your daughter deal with friend drama.

Ever walk in your house and become immediately overwhelmed with the stuff lying around?

Its bad enough when you have a kitchen junk counter stacked with 3 layers deep with kid’s artwork, random books and those gadgets for your door that you don’t want to throw away but you don’t really know how to install.

But then is all the stuff your kids leave laying in the living room or crammed onto the top of the family room game shelf.

Middle school was complete hell.

When my daughter entered sixth grade this year, I was terrified.

I didn’t want her to think it was her fault that other people were mean to her. I wanted her to know how to confront problems and the typical, stupid ways that people would react.

Ways that had nothing to do with her.
Girl drama is one of those things.

You walk in the door from school. Your nine-year-old comes in after you.

Everything seems fine. She’s happy. All is well and good.

Then, you remind her that the dishwasher needs unloading.

Boom. It’s like something inside her detonates.

“Noooo… I don’t have time to do that. That’s so unfair. I can’t believe you’re making me do this!:

She glares at you, stomps over to the kitchen sink and starts crying.

WHA-ATT just happened? She was happy. I didn’t blame her. I just had a simple request.