Parenting

I am going to share a little more about my experience with post-partum depression.  Some of you may think I’m a loon and some of you may empathize.  I want you to know I am only sharing my deepest, darkest feelings because I wish someone would have shared with me to help me feel a little better during such a hard time.

We would like to welcome Leah back to Whimsicle for her second guest post.  You might remember Leah from our Getting Baby to Sleep series and her post Being Baby Wise-ish.  You can find more of Leah on her blog: leahkoch.blogspot.com. Hi, my name is Leah and my daughter has a disability. For any parent with a child who has a disability, they can understand that those words do not come easy and can also understand why it took me months of pain and tears before I could state them boldly. However, until I learned to say it, I could not be the parent that my precious daughter needed me to be. There is a story that someone shared with me called “Welcome to Holland” by Emily Perl Kingsley. In that metaphoric tale, you read of a journey intended for the beautiful country of Italy. Instead, you find that you did not end up in Italy as you prepared and planned, but rather find yourself in the foreign country of Holland. The lesson learned at the end is that it is okay to mourn for the child you expected and did not receive. Through that process you can appreciate and embrace the wonderful child you did birth. I highly encourage you read the whole poem, but do so with a tissue. No one ever expects to have a child with any type of disability, whether congenital or developed over time. No parent who has a typical child can quite understand what this experience is like for us. I had no idea that anything was wrong with my sweet girl in utero. Nothing presented on ultrasound and nothing was immediately obvious to the doctors when she was born. But I knew. From the moment I saw her, I knew something wasn’t right. That’s not to say I wasn’t immediately in love; I just knew something was wrong. They were little things: a tongue-tie, a failed newborn hearing screening, funny-looking feet. Doctors and nurses ensured me that there was nothing to worry about and it seemed like so many people handled my concerns nonchalantly. I persisted and over time we had identified piece after piece as the puzzle started to come together. I now know that she has Aural Atresia (her ear canals did not form correctly and close before reaching the inner ear) and mixed conductive hearing loss (basically her ear canals won’t conduct sound waves to the ear drum), a very delicate digestive system (which requires infant Prilosec and protein free formula), small stature and limited muscle tone, vertical talus in both feet (her ankle bones formed perpendicular to her feet instead of parallel so her feet flipped up to her shins), and now suspected Nystagmus (eye shaking, typically accompanied with head positioning so she looks at us out of the side of her eyes). We are finally able to pursue genetic testing to know more and find the answers we so desperately seek. If there is any advice or […]

 

  My day started at 5am. My son tossed and turned in our bed.  As much as I tried to coax him back to sleep, he instead sat straight up and started climbing over the headboard.  While my husband eased himself out of slumber, I stumbled out of bed with Dude and took him into our home office.   He was happy on my lap as I checked emails and such.  Then, he started playing with the organizer on my desk that houses all of my office supplies – Twenty-two little drawers that he likes to pull in and out.  He pulled one drawer a little too hard and the entire organizer came with it, crashing off my desk – all of the accoutrements spilled out onto the floor.  Paper clips littered the carpet along with pens, expo markers and push pins.  Dude then decided he wanted to play in it.

Fourth of July Eve Buddy got pink eye.  In all my years teaching and with Biggie in daycare and school, we were spared the trauma – until now.  My husband and I got horrible summer colds but toughed through it for the kids so they could see fireworks.  Biggie got an ear infection…. My husband got pink eye…. Buddy flushed a Hot Wheel down the toilet and I had to pay a plumber to fish it out….  I got pink eye….My husband got pink eye again.  All this illness slapped us in the face within a matter of five days, and suffice to say, I was starting to lose my cool.