What Moms Don’t Say

A couple of months ago, I posted this on Facebook. 

It’s been a while so lets do some introductions! My name is JoAnn, I have 2 kiddos and when I grow up I want to be a…

Posted by Whimsicle on Wednesday, February 18, 2015

I admit it. I lied. Fact is that I would like to drink coffee all day, but I left something really important out.
Why didn’t I share it? Tons of reasons.  First, I was afraid of looking silly. Unrealistic. Naive. Many people want my dream.  What’s the chance that my efforts will be for naught?  But in reality, it doesn’t matter if I’m laughed at. Besides, did you know that failure is one of the best ways to build confidence?  Walt Disney put up Laugh-O-Gram studio before his Walt Disney animation success.  You didn’t hear about it?  That’s because it went bankrupt. Oprah was fired from her job as a news reporter from a Baltimore TV station before she became… well, Oprah! So bring on the naysayers.
Then, I think about how fast my kids are growing and get scared.  Will I have regrets that I didn’t spend more time with them? The fact is that I have been a stay-at-home mom for the past two years.  My little ones have gotten A LOT of me.  Sheryl Sandberg, the COO of Facebook, makes it a point to be home every day for dinner.  Both she and her husband have high power careers and they both are home for dinner with their family.  It’s all about choices and making priorities.  
A hubby who is willing to share responsibilities makes it doable as well. Scandal is one of my favorite tv shows.  The characters are seriously flawed, but fascinating. While not my idea of a succesfull marriage, the President and First Lady of the show have a partnership. In one episode, Millie, the First Lady, sat down on the veranda with the President.  He told her what he wanted more than anything and she vowed to help him get it. I would explain what that is, but it would take more than a blog post to do so.   Mellie then paused and said,
“Ask me what I want”
“What do you want?” He replied.
Mellie gulped down the rest of her drink and answered, “I want to be President of the United States.”
He looked at her for a beat and then replied, “Ok”.  Ever since that conversation, he has helped her achieve it.
I love my kids. I love being a mom.  But there is no reason that I need to spend all of time 100% focused on their happiness and welfare. It’s ok to do things strictly for me without feeling guilty.  In the end, it’s probably preferable.  By working on my own goals and saying them out loud, I’m showing my daughter she can go for what she wants. Without the guilt.  Without the anxiety.  Just go for it and worry about the logistics as she travels the path.
So, what do I want?
I do want to make Starbucks my office, don’t get me wrong there. But whIle I sit at that wood table, I want to put my iced Americano down next to my open laptop. I want to write.  I want this blog to be a full time gig making money.  I want to write an accompanying book. I want a book proposal bought and a manuscript ready to publish. 
So tell me, what do you want?

JoAnn Crohn

CEO/Founder at No Guilt Mom
JoAnn Crohn, M. Ed is a parenting educator and life coach who helps moms feel confident in raising empowered, self-sufficient kid while pursuing their own goals & passions.

She’s an accomplished writer, author, podcast host of the No Guilt Mom podcast, and speaker who appears in national media. Work with her personally in Balance VIP

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  1. I really needed to read this. We are always feeling guilty as moms. Feeling we’re not doing enough. I want to grow my blog. I want to write a children’s book to accompany a toy line about to launch. Thank you for the uplift today.

  2. You shout it out loud! Moms don’t say it enough- what we really want! I would love nothing more than to be able to help out my family more- this little blog has helped us a lot over the past couple years and I definitely want to continue to learn AND grow!

  3. This is awesome! I am not a mom, but still struggle with ‘saying’ what I want to do and actually taking the steps to do it. I want to grow my blog into a viable stream of income for my family and be able to influence many. I would also love to take an extended trip to Italy with my husband some day.

    1. Yes Charissa!! Making the plan is the hardest part I feel. Taking time away from my family gives me a huge guilt trip. I see you are an Arizona blogger! Are you coming to SOFABU On the road this weekend?

      1. Joann, I had to laugh about your huge guilt trip, I give myself one too. (why do we do this to ourselves? 🙂 I didn’t know about the SOFABU On the Road, what is that? I will be going to the Arizona Blogger Meetup on March 31st, are you going there?

          1. SoFabU looks awesome, I am not able to go this weekend but maybe I can talk to you and see how it went? (And more about your sponsored posts:-). See you on Tuesday!

  4. It is scary to follow our dreams! I am 40 years old & just now breaking away from a conventional career to pursue my love of food! Every little step is one in the right direction!

    1. It’s hard to step away from “conventional” careers. I wonder all the time if I should move away from teaching. But, this makes me so happy so I’ll just find a way to make it work. Good for you, Loriann!!

  5. I know this is an older post but I’m so glad I found it through Pinterest today. I needed to hear this!
    I work from home and I still suffer a lot of guilt because of the opinions of a lot of my peers. I grew up in a very traditional household where being driven and having career goals would be viewed as being neglectful as a mother. But it’s not! I’ve got a supportive husband and a happy baby so I need to put the naysayers on the back burner and follow my dreams. 🙂

    1. Yes!! Follow your dreams!! I have felt do much guilt and I am gradually learning to let it go. Since writing this post, I’ve enrolled my son in preschool three days a week. I now spend that time writing and building up Whimsicle as a company. So go for it!!!!

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