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Podcast Episode 373: The Personal Spending Paradox: Why It’s Harder to Buy That Dress Than Pay for Everyone Else

Ever noticed how we moms won’t think twice about shelling out for a singing, dancing, light-up toy that will be ignored in 24 hours, but agonize over buying ourselves a much-needed new shirt? You’re not alone! This “personal spending paradox” is a real thing, and it hits moms hard.

Turns out, our brains get a little hit of happiness (dopamine!) when we spend on others. So, buying that kid’s toy feels great. But spending on ourselves? That can trigger a whole cascade of guilt and conflicting beliefs. It’s almost like we’re programmed to believe our needs come last.

But here’s the kicker: constantly putting yourself last teaches your kids a less-than-ideal lesson. They see you sacrificing, and that can shape their expectations for themselves and their future relationships. We’re basically telling them that being a “good mom” means being last.

If you’re tired of feeling guilty every time you consider a personal purchase, you’re in the right place. It’s time to understand why this happens and get some tips to break free from the cycle.

In this episode of the No Guilt Mom podcast you’ll learn:

  • Why “selfless spending” gives your brain a happy hit (dopamine!) but spending on you can trigger all the guilt. Seriously, your brain is a complicated place.
  • The shocking truth about how you’re accidentally teaching your kids that moms are basically sacrifice-machines. (Spoiler: It’s not a good look for their future relationships!)
  • That time Brie bought fancy tequila for her husband and got COVID in return. (No self-spending guilt there, just… consequences!)
  • Tips for tackling that “I’m not worthy!” money block, starting with honest conversations (and maybe some word-vomit journaling). 

Resources We Shared In This Episode:

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Read the transcripts HERE

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#parentingpodcast #parentingtips #selfcare #mentalload #kids #teenager #toddler #preschooler #baby #noguiltmom #spendinghabits, #emotionalhealth, #womenempowerment, #self-worth, #guilt

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Brie Tucker

Brie Tucker

COO/ Podcast Producer at No Guilt Mom
Brie Tucker has over 20 years of experience coaching parents with a background in early childhood and special needs. She holds a B.S. in Psychology from the University of Central Missouri and is certified in Positive Discipline as well as a Happiest Baby Educator.

She’s a divorced mom to two teenagers.
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You are here: Home No Guilt Mom Podcast self-care Podcast Episode 373: The Personal Spending Paradox: Why It’s Harder to Buy That Dress Than Pay for Everyone Else
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Podcast Episode 373: The Personal Spending Paradox: Why It’s Harder to Buy That Dress Than Pay for Everyone Else
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Overcome Self-Spending Guilt
Last Updated:
May 23, 2025
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