We all feel mom guilt, but add chronic illness to that and it becomes almost unbearable. So let’s talk about what it’s like mommying with chronic illness, what it’s really like to deal with it every day, and what we can do about it.
Let’s be honest, mom guilt runs deep day-to-day for many of us.
We feel guilty that we didn’t:
- Spend enough time with our kids that one day.
- Have enough veggies with dinner last week.
- That we had to work at home last night instead of playing a family game.
We feel guilty about pretty much everything.
But then when you have chronic pain & illness- you’re almost apologizing every day because you can’t do things and you can’t be there with your kids like you want to. It breaks your heart, every time it happens.
And then when it’s long-term, and it just stretches on and on- the mom guilt seems like it’s just never-ending.
The CDC reports that 6 in 10 adults suffer from a chronic illness. So chances are very good that you have a friend who suffers from chronic illness, if not you yourself.
Here’s just a few things your mom friends with chronic illness would like you to know:
They plan their day around their pain.
We all have things to plan our days around, getting to work on time, getting the kids to school, homework, walking the dog, and so on.
But can you imagine also looking at your daily schedule and putting in a few hours to deal with the symptoms of a chronic illness- every day? Like from 12pm-5pm, schedule time to be in bed .
That sounds crazy!
But for many people with chronic illness that’s just another factor of their day-to-day life.
Their illness doesn’t define who they are.
We all hold many labels in our life:
Mom. Spouse. Sister. Manager. Marathoner. The list goes on and on.
But no one wants that list to include something that limits them, like an illness. Don’t fall into the trap of letting their illness be a defining factor in who they are to you.
They are looking for that connection with you.
We’ve said it before (many times) and we will say it again (many time)- every mom needs her people! Reach out to your friends! Being someone who is struggling with a chronic illness gets reminded everyday that they have their illness. Just chatting with friends can often get their mind off the things that are making them feel alone and down. Not to mention, that adult friendships have the following health benefits:
- Increases your sense of belonging
- Boosts your happiness
- Reduces your stress
- Improves your self-confidence
- Helps you cope with traumas, like divorce, illness, and so on
READ: Feeling exhausted as a mom? You might have Mommy Burnout
They love your help, but please don’t wait for them to ask.
When you are dealing with an illness that limits your ability to do everything that you want to do is hard enough, but having to be the person to ask for help with everyday tasks is a really difficult thing. So, a simple gesture to help with something like a load of laundry or cooking a meal, or even offering to run by the grocery store to pick up their click list order can be HUGE!
We want to thank our friends Jessica Avery & Alana Brussin for sharing their stories with us today! To hear more, listen to the entire podcast episode.
READ: For you, exhausted mama, who needs help with self-care
Resources We Shared:
The Sibling Adventure Missions
@Sempersanare – Alana’s Instagram
@DeadDollHouse – Jessica’s blog on Facebook
Download the transcript HEREThe best mom is a happy mom. To better take care of you, download our No Guilt Mom mindset here . These reminders will help you second guess less, and feel more confidence every day in your parenting.
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