Podcast Episode 410: How to Silence Mom Guilt and Unlock a Bigger, Brighter Life with Small Shifts Transcripts

Please note: Transcripts for the No Guilt Mom Podcast were created using AI. As a result, there may be some minor errors.

JoAnn Crohn (00:00)

Welcome to the no guilt mom podcast. I’m your host JoAnn Crohn joined here by the brilliant Brie Tucker

Brie Tucker (00:07)

How are you?

JoAnn Crohn (00:08)

Brie, I was, as you know, so excited when this guest name popped in our inbox because she got me through the pandemic with her extend bar classes. Like when we couldn’t go to a gym, I was like, my gosh, where can I exercise? What can I do? And I found Andrea Leigh Rogers. I don’t even know where I found her, but

I found her and every day in my living room, I had that extend bar class on like my daughter was doing it with me at times. And it was just like one of those core memories from the pandemic where we’re all stuck inside.

 Brie Tucker (00:45)

I love that it’s a positive memory from the pandemic.

JoAnn Crohn (00:48)

Yeah, for all of us introverts, we actually have a lot of positive memories from the pandemic other than like what was happening. But like, I know you did not. I was to say crawling on like clawing at the walls. Yeah.

 Brie Tucker (01:01)

I will say that my now husband and I were in a stable enough place that he was in my bubble. But man, if I was locked up with just my kids and my dog, I don’t know how I would have come out of that pandemic.

JoAnn Crohn (01:17)

Yeah, yes. Something else I really loved about Andrea was her positivity. And if right now you are having a really challenging time talking to yourself nicely and not knowing maybe what to say to yourself to encourage yourself to help you feel better. This is the episode for you. We’re going to go into it and also how to entangle yourself from what other people expect from you and what you actually want, which for you know, we’ve been talking about lately. It’s a hard thing.

 Brie Tucker (01:47)

It is hard! It’s ingrained in us and it’s not good for us.

JoAnn Crohn (01:52)

No, it’s not good for us. let me introduce our guest. Andrea Lee Rogers is a celebrity trainer, motivational coach and founder of Extend Bar. In her new book, Small Moves, Big Life, Seven Daily Practices to Supercharge Your Energy, Productivity and Happiness in just minutes a day, which drops next week. Go get that pre-order. You know how important that is. She offers seven simple practices that women can weave into their day in just 30 minutes total. No overhaul, no pressure, just real life tools to boost energy and motivation fast. Andrea is also a mom to two little ones. And with that, let’s get on with our show.

Welcome to the podcast, Andrea. We are so happy to have you here and discuss this topic because it is really, really hard for us as moms to be nice to ourselves.

Andrea Leigh Rogers (02:43)

Isn’t that the truth? Well, thank you for having me and thank you for being so nice to me. Excited to be here.

JoAnn Crohn (02:49)

And I was curious, you’re a mom to two little ones, how old are your kids?

Andrea Leigh Rogers (02:53)

Yes, so not so little anymore. My oldest just started high school, believe it or not. Oh my gosh! What is happening? Yeah, she’s in ninth grade, so she’s going to be turning 15, and my younger one is 12, going on 25. So, hope you know. Yeah, so we’ve got middle school and high school navigation, which is always, always fun.

 Brie Tucker (03:06)

Yeah, we know what that

JoAnn Crohn (03:13)

have very, very similar ages to my kids. I have a 12 year old who’s a seventh grader and I have a 16 year old who is a senior in high school. She turned 17 in December. She’s a little young for her grade, but it’s insane. have a senior. Bri has a senior and a college freshman.

Andrea Leigh Rogers (03:20)

my god.

I’m a senior!

You look good. That’s wild! Stop! Keep going. No, really, seriously. Keep going. That’s crazy. Wow. Fit life changes, especially for you, Bire. You have the last year of having them at home. Like one at home.

 Brie Tucker (03:44)

I like I just moved my oldest into his dorm a couple of weeks ago, but he’s going to college only like 30 minutes away. So the dorm was more of you need to go experience college. ⁓

Andrea Leigh Rogers (03:54)

You bet,

you bet. ⁓

 Brie Tucker (03:57)

And then I’ve got the senior again. So I’m like, hey, I remember all this. We just had it last year.

JoAnn Crohn (04:03)

Yeah, it’s like, just do it over again. So Andrea, as a mom, like you have a very successful career. mean, celebrity trainer, your own extend bar. When raising your kids, how did you untangle this difference between what you wanted to pursue versus like what was expected of you as a mom? Like, did you feel that pressure on you when building this?

Andrea Leigh Rogers (04:26)

You know, for me, I became a single mother unexpectedly. I was kind of thrown into the trenches. You know, my daughters were four and six years old when my life kind of took a complete spin. And I wasn’t prepared to be raising two children on my own. But it was through that kind of challenging time and those moments in my life that I just kind of doubled down on both myself and my mom duties. And I didn’t let one take over the other. And I’ll tell you why. I was in a survival mode.

I was treading water, was barely getting air at certain times. And I knew that in order to be a good mother, I needed to take care of myself. Like I knew that. Instinctively, I knew that I had to do some things to feel good every day that would help me to be a good mother. And so…

I slowly just started to implement different practices, little things, little things every day that I was like, okay, that felt good. This is making me feel sane. I feel more in control of my life. I feel like I can do the next thing I have to do today on my list. And that slowly just added up. But because I am a single mother and I run a business, an international business, I have to travel quite a bit. And I’ve had conversations with my girls from a very young age to explain what it means to be a working mother. And I’ve explained to them.

not as if they’re children, but as if they’re mini adults about the importance of me not only having a career to provide for us as a family, but me to have something that I’m passionate about to provide for my mental health as a woman. And I want them as two young girls and now teenage girls to understand the impact it has when we neglect ourselves because we’ve all been there and we do it often. And I want them to understand.

I need my time and I will say I need my time. Like I need my alone time. I need my adult time. I also need to have like my own fun time. But when I’m present, I’m present. You know, like when I’m there, I’m there. And I don’t allow myself to go into that whole mom guilt spin. just am like, Andrea, you’re doing a good job. You know, you’re trying your best. I have moments. Don’t get me wrong. I do have moments. It’s not like I never feel it, but I don’t let it sink into my soul. I allow myself a moment of feeling like, okay.

Maybe you could have done better or you should have been there or you couldn’t make that happen or, but I tried my best to go, okay, the expectations we have set on ourselves as women is ridiculous. It is. Right. like, it’s not reality. It’s this fake world we live in where we are supposed to do all for all be all for all. like look fabulous while doing it. Yeah. Yeah.

Andrea Leigh Rogers (07:02)

It’s out of control. It’s really out of control. And we put it on ourselves. We all talk about it like, oh, this is ridiculous. But yet we still have those expectations for ourselves. And when we fall short, we feel defeated.

JoAnn Crohn (07:14)

We beat ourselves up. Yeah. my gosh, Andrea, like so much you just said. I just want to like take it all apart and learn like everything I can from you because you have the mindset that I want totally that we strive for because you said you don’t let it sink into your soul and let it affect you. I see so many women. In fact, this morning in particular, I was planning to go to Mexico with my mom and my sister tomorrow. We were supposed to leave and

My sister called me and she has a last minute emergency and she can’t come. And now my mom doesn’t want to come because she’s worried about my sister for that emergency. But I know that it all ties back to my sister not wanting to leave her kids because she doesn’t feel like anyone else can take care of her children, but her. And it’s one of those things where it’s not uncommon at all, this mindset. And

I don’t even know how to approach it as a sister. I just want to help as many women as possible and show them that you do not have to live this way to be happy. And I guess what I wanted to know is you don’t let the mom guilt sink into your soul. So when you’re leaving on travel and when you’re going to these places, what are some things you tell yourself? You mentioned a little bit already. But when you’re leaving, your girls are like, mom, don’t go. What do you do?

Andrea Leigh Rogers (08:34)

And they do not like, they’re bye, see you later. They’re like, we don’t want you to go. Like, why do you have to go? Like, and they’re used to it. This has been, you know, a decade of me traveling and doing this, but they still don’t want me to go and they still get a little pouty. And I say, I get it. Like, I understand I’m going to miss you too, but here’s what I’m doing. And I kind of walk through like what I’m doing. So they have an understanding that I’m not just going on a business trip. I’m like, okay, I’m going to be meeting with this person and this is what I’ve done. And Hey, will you look at this for me? Or I bring them into my room. They helped me pack.

Like, what should I wear for this meeting? And how should I present myself for this? And they get involved in it. And I want them to feel like they are a part of what I am doing, because it is, it’s all of us, right? I’m doing the work, but it’s a team effort. And so I kind of bring them into that fold. And when they have those moments, I say, hey, this is what we need to do. We need to focus on the good. Like while I’m gone, I want you to go after this, this, and this. And I kind of set the stage for some specific little goals for them while I’m traveling. And again, just bringing them into the fold.

And when I’m gone, like for example, when they go to their dads or I’m traveling and we’re apart, I try to make an effort, especially as they’ve gotten older, to not check in with them so often.

 Brie Tucker (09:45)

my God, that is so hard. Okay, wait, I gotta tell ya, as a single mom for many years, I’ve now remarried. Like, it is so hard. All I can say is, praise the Lord for life 360. just, creep on my kids.

JoAnn Crohn (10:01)

I do it as well.

Brie Tucker (10:06)

texting them nonstop. I’m like, okay, okay, like college freshman, I know he’s at his dorm. I’m good. I’m good. But yeah, check in on them constantly. Especially like, I know you said that you had the big change when they were younger. But it’s never going to be 100 % easy when your kids aren’t around you all the time when they’re still below that age of being an adult.

JoAnn Crohn (10:12)

Yeah, it is so hard!

Even when they are adults, it’s really hard to like like you just said Brie you check you make sure he’s in his college dorm

Andrea Leigh Rogers (10:39)

I get it. I don’t think that changes. mean, my kid’s father lives in another state. So they’ve been traveling solo as unaccompanied minors on the airplane since they were five and seven. Okay. And putting them on that plane from the beginning, I mean, you you’re like, you’re so strong. The second the door closes, like the tears. Yeah, the tears come. But I did tell myself, I’m like, I need to not be, how are you doing? What’s going on over there? Like I’m trying to very, you know, intentionally pull back. And when they text me, I respond. Okay.

I’m not the first text in the morning. I’m trying to be like, you you got this. You don’t need me to say good morning every morning. You don’t need me to say good night every night. They know I love the heck out of them. They know I’m thinking of them. But I want them to feel that independence without having to feel that constant connection to me. And so it’s been intentional. It’s not easy. And if I don’t hear from them for a couple of days, I’m like, they’re okay. It’s fine. But I’m proud of them too for not having to always, you know. touch base.

JoAnn Crohn (11:39)

Yeah, that independence is so important. And ⁓ I know, Bre, you have a quick question, and we’re going to get to that right after this.

 Brie Tucker (11:49)

Okay, Andrea, before the break, you were talking about how you have had this clear mindset from the beginning of, you know, trying to have your kids feel like they can do things on their own. They are strong and showing them that you feel that way. And so because of that, you’ve made some conscious decisions in raising them about talking to them about all the things you’re doing and about not buttoning in all the time. Like that’s what I would say I’m doing. Cause I like to make jokes about it. So like not constantly being like, how you doing? What’d do? What’d you eat? What’d do?

 Brie Tucker (12:21) 

I have that ideation from the beginning or did you have a friend or a life experience that made you go, know what, I definitely want to make sure I don’t do this. I don’t smother them. don’t constantly check in so that they feel like either I need them or that they can’t do things on their own. Did you have something that influenced you to have you do that? Cause like, I’m hearing you and I’m like, where were you when I got divorced?

Andrea Leigh Rogers (12:45)

That’s why I hope this book helps some individuals because it’s really, it was written during the time, well, the principles were created during the time that I was going through the divorce and it was a survival. And I just had to lean into what I knew instinctively would help me and get rid of the noise and get rid of all the other talk or all the emotions and just kind of clear the clutter in my head and just focus on what I needed to do. But also my younger daughter, my children are very different. As we all know, kids are very different. My older one is incredibly independent and my younger one at that time was not.

She was not as independent and she needed to constantly check in with me. And she was always like getting approval and seeking my approval on a regular basis a lot, a lot. And so I had to make an effort to sit down and talk with her about how to find that independence. And so through practice, I had to show her that she didn’t have to always. So that’s kind of how it developed. She would get sometimes nervous to go on the plane and we would have our talks and conversations and then she just bloomed. mean, she blossomed. She just kind of.

 Brie Tucker (13:46)

is like, I’m onto something here. This is working.

Andrea Leigh Rogers (13:49)

Yeah,

yeah, it took some time though. It wasn’t an overnight thing by any means. It wasn’t like, oh, I’m just going to pull back a little bit and she’s just going to blossom. No, took a lot of time and a lot of effort and a lot of conversations, as my kids say, lectures. So yes, took some effort.

JoAnn Crohn (14:06)

Would you have considered yourself an independent person before your divorce or was that something that kind of showed you how important it was to be independent when you were going through that process?

Andrea Leigh Rogers (14:16)

I’ve always been a very independent person from a very young age. I was a dancer. I traveled by myself. I remember when I was like 12 and 13, I would go with my dance instructor who owned the studio and she would take me on trips. And I was the only one, like I would go with her and I’d have to go into a room full of people from a different state that I’ve never known and meet kids and try to sit down and have lunch with them and make relationships. So I’ve always, thankfully through those experiences, been able to find confidence in being independent and being by myself. However,

I didn’t want to be alone in life and alone and raising kids. And that definitely threw me for a loop, but it was because of my upbringing and because I had the ability to lean on all of those experiences as a child that I didn’t sit in the closet floor for too long. Like I allowed myself a one big cry session, truly like one big cry session. Then I was like, all right, you have a choice. You can sit here and wallow in this cause it does suck and this is not what you expected. did not sign up for this nor did you deserve this, but this is it. This is your life. But now you have to figure out what to do. And you know, that’s kind of where it all came from.

JoAnn Crohn (15:23)

Yeah, that’s amazing. And in your book, you have seven small things that people can do to really start living this kind of life where they are in charge of what they want instead of looking at the expectations of others to kind of dictate how they live their life. And as I was reading through them, one really stuck out to me is appearing over and over again for members of our community and something that I am struggling with honestly right now. And that is your mind up principle.

Andrea Leigh Rogers (15:51)

That’s a good one.

JoAnn Crohn (15:53)

Tell us about that and how that started.

Andrea Leigh Rogers (15:56)

Oh girl, that was pure survival. I always go back to the story of I was in South Florida and it was a bad day and I was walking through the grocery store and I felt my knees buckle. Like, I mean, I physically felt like, oh my gosh, I have to hold onto this grocery cart because I am not going to be able to stand. It was like the world around me, everyone was smiling. I’m smiling back. You know, I’m from Michigan. We smiling everyone. And I’m like, life is good. But inside I was just crumbling. And I remember getting in my car and driving home and get into the kitchen. And I was like, I’ve got to make some changes. Like I’ve to start doing some things to just right size my mind because I’m going to sink. So one of those things was breathing, which I talk about in the book, intentional breath work. And then the other that I really leaned into was this mind up mentality. And I found an app, okay, online. I’m not a big, huge like app person to begin with, but I don’t even remember how I came across it or what I was seeking, but I found this app in

Essentially, it is an app that is a guided affirmation where you record your own voice of things that you are grateful for. So for example, I am grateful for the love of my life and my children being happy and healthy. Right. And you record these affirmations. Okay. So you record them. Boom. I have like five of them. And then you go back and you listen to them and you press play on them throughout the day. And there was something very powerful about not only recording it, because that takes a lot of courage and confidence when you’re in a really low place to kind of say these things and you kind of feel ridiculous speaking out loud to yourself. And then you got to feel ridiculous like listening to your own voice because nobody likes the sound of their own voice. But it was very powerful for me and it was a tool that I used. I mean, in the beginning, I was listening to that five, six times a day. Every time I felt like I was going to crumble, I pressed play on it, closed my eyes listen to it has soft music in the background and just allow myself to hear that and not only hear it, but I would visualize what that was. Like I would visualize, like I remember visualizing being grateful for writing a book and having a book in my hand and thinking about that book in my hand and doing these podcasts and like feeling that I would close my eyes and visualize the book in my hand. I’d visualize me sitting here with, you know, these ear pods on and talking and having these conversations. And I would really lean into what I knew I was capable of achieving. I wasn’t there yet. I wasn’t close. I was like  in the heaviness part of my life, but I knew, I knew I was meant for greater things. And I leaned into that knowing and I leaned into that confidence and I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. It was going to take a hell of a lot of work and a lot of time and patience. But I just kept thinking about that. And that mind up mentality is something that I feel like it saved me. And now I don’t need it five or six times a day. Maybe I’m doing it once a week, maybe a couple of times a week. And then it’s segue into my household with my daughters. So.

You know, I mentioned lecturing. I’m sure you guys hear it like, you know, the eye roll when you’re talking.

 Brie Tucker (18:53)

My daughter and I just headed out last night about the eye rolls. I’m like, don’t you roll those eyes at me.

 Brie Tucker (19:05)

Yeah, that was exactly last night.

JoAnn Crohn (19:09)

I’m a fighter on that. I’m always like, I love seeing you guys like fight back on it because I am all like, my gosh, okay, let me just like back out. This is not the time. This is not the time. Don’t want to poke the bear. This is not the time.

 Brie Tucker (19:21)

I’m JoAnn knows why I lose my crap and Andrea you have to tell me if you have this because my daughter is literally a mirror of me staring back. So like actually the rolling the eyes. I was like, don’t you roll your eyes at me? And she goes, well, you’re your eyes at me. And I’m like.

Andrea Leigh Rogers (19:43)

I hate that. ⁓

JoAnn Crohn (19:52)

They always make good points. That’s the thing. Like I’m always learning stuff from my daughter. It’s astounding to me. I’m like, wow, you are really wise. Yes. young body.

 Brie Tucker (20:03)

they come back at you with like, they’re like, but don’t you always tell me that I should do things on my own? And this is how I want to do it. And you always say like, I need to learn through experience. shut up. Quick. Give me sound advice.

Andrea Leigh Rogers (20:16)

And it’s true and you have to acknowledge that right? I’m always like, oh you’re right. Yeah

 Brie Tucker (20:22)

I say it back. I’ll be like, quit giving me sound advice. And then she laughs and we laugh and we’re all

Andrea Leigh Rogers (20:26)

I love that. So that’s kind of how Mind Up started though. Not started, but that’s how it influenced my house because instead of the lectures, I saw them like zoning out, right? As I was like in sentence two. So finally I was like, okay, here’s what I’m going to say next time I want you to attack something with a more positive mindset or a little more confidence. I’m going to say Mind Up. And that’s all I’m going to say. And I’m not going to give you any more. Like that’s it. So at our house, it turned into just things were going a different direction or negativity or like whining or complaining. I’m like, Mind Up.

Mind up.

JoAnn Crohn (20:58)

Love that, that’s such a little short phrase.

Andrea Leigh Rogers (21:00)

And that was enough for them to know where I was coming from. And then it turned into just like tap the head and up. Sometimes I wouldn’t even have to say it. Like, so if we were somewhere out in public, I’d be like, mm-mm, mind’s up. And that was it.

JoAnn Crohn (21:14)

What I love about this is that it started with you. Like you knew that you needed to fix your own mentality and your own thoughts. And then once you had it kind of, I don’t want to say fixed because we don’t like to fix things, but once you had it strong, you were able then to pass it along to your kids.

That is so important and it’s such an important message I think for everyone to get because if we ourselves are telling ourselves how much crap we are and like how we’re not enough, there is no way that we can go and teach our kids like that. So starting with you is like the most unselfish thing you can do in the long run.

Andrea Leigh Rogers (21:51)

say that again, it’s so true. Starting with you is the most unselfish thing you can do. That is it.

JoAnn Crohn (21:57)

Yes. Yes.

I want to dig into exactly like how you set these up because there’s some nuances I saw in what your gratitude things were and we’ll do that right after this.

So Andrea, I noticed that when you talked about doing your gratitudes, it wasn’t things that were happening in your life right then. It was future-based. So tell us a little bit about how you decided what to write.

Andrea Leigh Rogers (22:25)

Yes. So I wanted to focus on where I knew I was going, not where I was stuck currently, because I feel like that’s what happens all the time. We’re always in this like, either we’re looking backwards or the forward projection looks too far away and unattainable. And then we get stuck in the middle, which is like where we feel stuck, right? Where we’re like, ⁓ this caused me to be right here and I’m not over there. So I’m just going to wallow in this moment right here and feel like it’s never changing. Nothing’s ever changing, you know? And so instead I was like, okay, yes, it is. It’s going to change. And I’m going to just decide to think about how it feels to be that woman, that Andrea in the future who has these things happening for her. And that’s what I started to lean to. So I picked a different type of categories. Number one, family health and wellness, right? Like my bucket health is everything. So that’s it. And then I would focus on career. Like what do I want to feel like what do want to visualize? I’m on a stage, given a keynote presentation, I’m in a bookstore, signing my book, like all these things that I wanted for myself. You have to sit with it and think about like really what do you want, right? And it has to be things that are truly attainable within your reach. Big lofty goals, not out of your, like don’t sit there and think about yourself winning the lottery, which is great. But you know, like

JoAnn Crohn (23:38)

Nothing you have in control over in any aspect.

Andrea Leigh Rogers (23:41)

Correct. And then I would think about like, love in my life. Like you breathe, met someone new and you’re remarried and that’s a beautiful thing and I want to get there too. And that’s so kind of like where I lean into in those different categories of like what feels good for me. Like where’s my purpose? Where’s my passion? Where does that lie? And then I would write them down and then I would speak them aloud and then I would replay them.

JoAnn Crohn (24:02)

And you said, like, as you spoke them aloud, you spoke them as if they were happening in your life right there. like, I am grateful for like speaking on a stage or having the book in my hands. Even though that was not the present, you’re talking about it as the present.

Andrea Leigh Rogers (24:18)

I am grateful for being a best-selling author. That’s what I would say, right? Like that’s where we’re going and that’s where we’re going to get. So like that’s the intention. And I did that in every category.

JoAnn Crohn (24:27)

I know this is a really tricky question, but it’s something a lot of people wonder when they start doing these affirmations, is how long did it take before you started noticing a shift in your own mindset when doing those?

Andrea Leigh Rogers (24:39)

very quickly. mean, very quickly, because within a week, I feel like I started to shift out of that heavy feeling of reality and started to think. I mean, your brain doesn’t know the difference. If you’re feeling the joy from a future projection, you’re feeling the joy as a current actual reality. You feel it. You feel it either way. so I started to just within a week, I was like, huh, I hadn’t done this before. wasn’t like this was like my, like, and it wasn’t raised like this.

I’m a realist, like I’m a grow your sleeves up, get to work, make things happen kind of girl. So this was a little different for me, you know? But I started to feel an energy shift within the first week. And I started to think about the good and get out of the reality of the heaviness. I just felt that shift and I was like, okay, I need to do more of that. I need to think about more of that. And then little things throughout the day would happen where, you know, after I just did one of those mind up mantras, I would then… apply myself in a different way during the day, right? Like I just visualized myself writing a book. I took action throughout my day without even realizing it unconsciously, just like doing things that led to that, right? And then subconsciously as well. But it puts you in a different mindset.

JoAnn Crohn (25:54)

I hear about the results of doing that so often. It reminds me actually of my friend Tira, who we talk about as manifesting. And she actually keeps a manifestation spreadsheet. So she can like talk about the thing like she manifested and then track it to see like how it impacted her life. Cause she needed those real results and that real proof that it works. And it did work for her. Like, and it keeps working for her. And I just think like,

It seems like it’s so woo, but it’s also like what you talked about. When you start speaking it into the world, your actions change. You show up as a different person. Your energy changes with how you approach situations. And it’s with that energy change that that’s when the things start happening.

Andrea Leigh Rogers (26:42)

That is it. Energy. Like, attracts like, right? So if you’re, if you’re sitting there and you’re spending all of your time and energy on thinking about all the crappy stuff in your life and how sad you are that things aren’t turning out the way you want, you’re going to get more of that in your life. You’re going to find it. It’s like, you’ve all heard of, you know, you’ve been in a meeting and someone’s like, okay, don’t think of a red heart or whatever it is. And then everybody’s thinking of a red heart. It’s like the same thing, right? Don’t think about the crappy moments. If you just think about them.

That’s all you’re going to be absorbed with everything. You know, there’s people like, oh, of course that happened to me. Right. Yeah. Kind of attitude. Well, of course I got a flat tire. Well, of course that happened to me. It’s like, well, that’s always going to be you. You are always going to have shit happening to you if that is your mindset. You know, I tell my girls that I’m like, you better ship that energy because that is going to your life. If that’s how you approach your day, like you determine your day, you determine your mood, you determine your energy and you determine your response, like how you respond because life is going to throw things your way.

And you don’t get to always have a say on how that unfolds, but you get to have a say on how you respond to it and what your reaction is.

JoAnn Crohn (27:46)

⁓ Andrea, this is the pep talk I’ve needed. ⁓ have been down in the dumps on myself because I am so afraid. So I’m writing a book right now and I’m in the copy editing phase. And it’s that phase where like I am looking for and like all you see when you go through it is all of the editors changes and everything. And you start getting into this mindset where you’re like, I just suck. So much wrong here.

Andrea Leigh Rogers (28:11)

It’s so true.

JoAnn Crohn (28:12)

This is what I need. Like I immediately want to write these gratitude statements and start like find that app and start listening to it multiple times.

Andrea Leigh Rogers (28:19)

You’re writing a book, which you wrote, right? Like you already wrote it. So allow that challenging element to sink in, but gosh, that’s like a huge accomplishment for you to be proud of. And yeah, if you just lean into that and then yeah, lean into these gratitude affirmations, visualize the book done and being something you’re so proud of and all of the things that will come from it.

JoAnn Crohn (28:43)

That is what I’m going to work on. Those are my next steps because this whole like being stuck in the dump and thinking like everything is not good. It’s not a happy place to be ⁓ at all. Nope.

 Brie Tucker (28:56)

Nobody actually enjoys being there. I think that’s something that we have to remember too. Nobody enjoys being in the negative mindset. So if you’re there, like you’re saying Andrea and JoAnn, like think about where you would like to be. Instead of being here, where would I like to be? And I would also challenge us to have that same compassion, right? For other people in our lives that are struggling. like,

It does suck right now. Where do you want to be?

JoAnn Crohn (29:27)

That’s a really hard thing. And I’m wondering Andrea, like how you deal with that when people in your life have that attitude and it’s not your daughters where you can’t be like, mind up, but it’s like another adult. How do you approach

Andrea Leigh Rogers (29:41)

That is my career. That is my career. Yeah, like, I mean, I work with women from all walks of life. And it’s funny because, you know, very early on in my career as a fitness professional, I’m a business owner, my coworkers and I would say we feel like therapists as opposed to like fitness trainers, because we were listening and hearing and absorbing and guiding and motivating and trying to support. But through this practice of developing extend bar and working with primarily women from all walks of life. I’m talking from the 20-year-old college student who comes in to the studio and her mom who is right next to her to the grandma that comes in with her. And then I was hearing the same type of challenges across the globe. I’d go to Shanghai and teach a class and the women would ask me the same type of questions as the women would here in the US. And it was just interesting to see, like, doesn’t matter where you come from, what your background is, what your age is. We all have these same type of challenges as women in general. They might not be specifically the same, but overall there’s a lot of commonality in the things that we struggle with. And also when I was writing this book, I was thinking about some of my closest friends who I am always working with to try and help them to mind up and to help them to get out of the funk and to help them focus on their capabilities and what they are 100 % deserving of. And so…

Yeah, I’ve had lots of these conversations with lots of women. And the goal is to always, what you said, Bri, is to try to get out of that funk. And when you’re in it, it is not easy. So it’s very easy to say, just think up, just think of a happy thought. Just be happy. And you’re like, OK, sure. OK, Andrea, like, my life is falling apart. You know, like, good for you that you can do that. like,

 Brie Tucker (31:25)

Give me the pill, give me the switch, whatever it is that makes me get there as fast possible, but there’s no shortcuts!

Andrea Leigh Rogers (31:29)

This is positive.

And this is it. You have to be honest with yourself and ask yourself, is this the person you want to be? Like, is this the individual that you want to be? Do you want to feel like this again tomorrow morning? Do you want to feel like you’re just getting through your day? Or do you want to feel like there’s like a little bit of, I don’t know, electricity to your day? Is there a little bit of like excitement and something to look forward to? Like, what is that? You know, and how do we get there? It’s not going to be easy. doesn’t happen overnight.

But I promise you, if you actually contribute and make a real honest effort consistently, you will get there and it will come sooner than you realize.

JoAnn Crohn (32:11)

I love that. I’m doing it today, like right after we get off.

Andrea Leigh Rogers (32:14)

You’re going to have to message me, JoAnn. want to hear. I will following up. I’m going be thinking of you tomorrow morning. I’m like, did she do it? How do you feel?

JoAnn Crohn (32:16)

I will message you.

I’m so gonna do it. That leads us into how we end every podcast episode. Andrea, what is one thing that you are looking forward to right now in your life?

Andrea Leigh Rogers (32:32)

Right now, obviously, I’m looking forward to the book launch. And this is something new for me. I’ve never done anything like this. This has always been obviously on my bucket list, but I’m really looking forward to just what you said, JoAnn. I’m looking forward to hearing back from all these women who have finally found a little toolkit, a guide. It’s like a best friend in your pocket to help you get through some of these challenges in life and just to support you and encourage you and remind you that you are worthy, capable, and you’re going to feel a lot different after you’re done reading this book and executing on these principles.

 Brie Tucker (33:03)

I love that.

JoAnn Crohn (33:04)

I love it. Go get Andrea’s book. Go pre-order it right now. Or if you’re listening to it after the launch date, go and get it. It is called Small Moves Big Life. And we can’t wait to hear the changes that it makes in YouTube because Andrea, this has been a complete joy. It has been so wonderful talking with you. And I feel uplifted after our interview when I had a completely crappy morning. So thank you for being here with us this morning.

Andrea Leigh Rogers (33:29)

Thank you. Love your energy, guys.

JoAnn Crohn (33:30)

And remember the best mom is a happy mom. Take care of you. We’ll talk to you later

 Brie Tucker (33:36)

Thanks for stopping by.

JoAnn Crohn (33:39)

If you’d like to support the show further, you could share episodes with your loved ones, leave a positive review or follow us on social media at No Guilt Mom. You could also show your love by visiting our amazing podcast sponsors. We have a link in the show notes.