Podcast Episode 383: Default Parent on Vacation (A.K.A. Mom): Why Your Family Trip Feels Like a Business Trip Transcripts

Please note: Transcripts for the No Guilt Mom Podcast were created using AI. As a result, there may be some minor errors.

JoAnn Crohn (00:02)

My husband came back and I tell him, I’m like, yeah, it was a great trip. I don’t have anything to complain about. He sits there and he says, maybe the reason I don’t like vacationing with the kids is me.

Welcome to the No Guilt Mom podcast. I’m your host JoAnn Crone, joined here by the brilliant Brie Tucker.

Brie Tucker (00:24)

Hello, hello everybody, how you doing?

JoAnn Crohn (00:27)

We’re talking about vacation. It’s so funny because I remember my sister-in-law was talking to me about vacation with kids this age and her kids are almost six and nine. And she’s like, it’s not really a vacation. It’s a trip. And that’s how it is.

Brie Tucker (00:45)

It is, that is. Honestly, this past spring break, I think was my first vacation that I had very little that I had to take care of. Well, let me take that back. I go on vacations all the time with my husband, but when my kids are involved, yeah, this was probably the first vacation that I got to take where I was not in charge of so much stuff. And it was nice.

JoAnn Crohn (01:08)

I’ve never had that because I guess it goes back to, I saw yesterday on Instagram, our friend Tera, she posted a reel and she’s like, the secret to a stress free vacation, bring grandma.

Brie Tucker (01:26)

That’s not a bad idea. Those are my favorite trips, the ones that have the rest of my family, because then it’s like, I’m just going leave the kids with you. I’m going to go for a little while.

JoAnn Crohn (01:34)

Exactly, because you were asking me before we started, think about when we took my daughter to Scotland when she was three, like how much did I have to do? And I’m like, I didn’t because we had the whole extended family there. We could rely on the family. Did I have resentment when the entire family decided to go out to a fancy French restaurant that we knew our three-year-old would tear up the place and we could go with them a little bit? But I mean, that’s the nature of having young kids. Yes.

That less resentment more like I wish I could go.

Brie Tucker (02:07)

I know. Depending upon the age of your kids, you have different challenges you have to overcome. And like I was saying, and you guys know, I have two teenagers. One just graduated high school. The other is going to be a senior this year. And I’m telling you, this past spring break was my first vacation where I wasn’t mentally in charge of something continuously throughout the trip, either helping the kids pack and then moving to the next thing of like figuring out food once we get there because we tend to do the whole like Airbnb, running a house type thing. And it was a lot. So I was thinking about that. And I also had saw like a comedy routine where this guy was complaining about how his wife had him carry a cooler and that just made his vacation so hard. And I’m like, ⁓ fight me. You have no idea how much trouble we go through and how much stress it is every time we’re trying to figure out what to do for vacation.

JoAnn Crohn (03:00)

See, I’m like the opposite. I think I’ve had a vacation a lot with my kids where I haven’t thought of the things, but I do a lot less and do a lot preparation than you do. And true, I run into certain challenges. Yes, I do that I have not prepared for, but we’re going to talk about that today. So we’re going to give you some actionable ways that if you’re tired, just planning for your upcoming trip, you’re not alone.

A lot of moms go through this. Shout out to Marie-Christ in our Balance Community, who was just talking about this this morning at Body Doubling. She’s packing for a cruise, Brie. They’re going on a cruise. ⁓ they leave in three weeks, and she’s already started the packing process for everybody. yeah.

It’s not me. So you’ll hear both Brie and I’s different perspectives on it and we’ll give you some actionable tips as well to make this a vacation, the one where you can relax, laugh, and maybe even like enjoy a little cocktail or two on your own. Yeah.

Brie Tucker (04:00)

Maybe you don’t have to wait till your kids are 18 to have the vacation

JoAnn Crohn (04:04)

⁓ so with that, let’s get on with the show.

You want mom life to be easier. That’s our goal too. Our mission is to raise more self-sufficient and independent kids. We’re going to have fun doing it. We’re going to help you delegate and step back. Each episode, we’ll tackle strategies for positive discipline, making our kids more responsible and making our lives better in the process. Welcome to the No Guilt Mom podcast.

Okay, everybody, we decided that I’m gonna start this one out because I’m the one who has had the working vacations. And when I say working vacations, I don’t mean it like taking my laptop and working. mean, trying to plan the vacation for everybody. So I have for years been in charge of packing for everyone.

And even once my kids got old enough to do their own packing, I was still the one who had to check it to make sure they did a good job. And you might be saying to yourself, even JoAnn, you might be like shaking your head going, you don’t need to check it. They don’t have it. They don’t have it. That is true. That is true. Although let me remind you of a vacation that I had to go buy some feminine products for my daughter before we went. I bought an entire box, gave it to her, her to pack. We get to Mexico.

She comes out to me like a few hours into our trip and is like, hey, I need more feminine products. And I’m like, what do mean? I just bought you a whole box. Didn’t you bring the whole box? Well, no, I only brought two or three. And I’m like, my God, my God. I had to buy a $20 box of feminine products at the resort in Mexico to make up for the one that they didn’t pack. So that’s why, that’s an example of why I still have to like check.

JoAnn Crohn (06:01)

Okay.

Brie Tucker (06:02)

But I have more, but yes.

JoAnn Crohn (06:04)

Okay, well we could get into this, because I have things for that. in the case of the box of- Okay.

Brie Tucker (06:09)

Hold on that one. Also, I have to normally plan the itinerary. I have to figure out where we’re going that everybody can come up with ideas because I can’t stand it when someone says, there’s nothing to do here. I don’t like that. I’m so bored. So like, I try to make sure that we have at least one activity a day that goes directly to each person’s wants and dreams. Yes, I realize I’m a lot of myself, but that’s me.

Then you’re managing the breakdowns, the fights. In my family, I am pretty much the one who helps hold everybody together. I’m the glue, I’m the translator. So when there’s a fight between people or a disagreement, I’m one that has to come in and like smooth it over. I’ve always held that role. I hold it in my family I grew up in and I hold it in my family now. And then the fact too that you’re still the default parent, but with humidity.

Brie Tucker (07:02)

I know I’m not alone. know I’m not alone. And I do fight back. And there are things that I do like let go of. But in general, that’s what vacation means to me. Yeah.

JoAnn Crohn (07:16)

Well, okay. So I do not pack for everyone. And we have had instances where somebody most likely my son has forgotten something. He is the boy who’s going to wear the same outfit for five days in a row. He does it here at home. Do I like it? No, but is he can control of his body? He’s in control of his body. I can’t, you know, I give up the power where I don’t need it so that I can keep the power where I do need it. And I figure like the smart fight is just not worth it to me.

Yeah. Because I could have a bigger impact other places where I think it should. So like he forgets that he forgets underwear. That’s been an issue once where we’ve been like, I taught him how to wash his underwear in the sink to solve that problem. So it was like, wash the underwear.

Brie Tucker (08:04)

That’s life skill because at some point we’ve all washed underwear the same

JoAnn Crohn (08:09)

Yeah. So yeah. And the packing thing, like toothbrush and toothpaste are usually the most forgotten items. Those items I know when staying at hotels and stuff, usually life hack, you can call them to the front desk and they have all of these different toiletries available to you. In fact, I was surprised that they didn’t have feminine products available through the front desk and give it to you for free. like at the recent hotel.

Brie Tucker (08:10)

Let’s be honest.

JoAnn Crohn (08:34)

we stayed at in New York, was just Moxie, the hotel brand through Marriott. So it was nothing fancy. They had this stuff called the stash. It was a closet on the floor where you used your hotel room key to open up the closet. And in it, they had feminine products in there. And they had like extra rolls of toilet paper and like all of these different things like you could take for your room, razors, toothbrush, toothpaste, stuff like that. I thought it was a really smart idea.

Brie Tucker (08:58)

Yeah, that makes me feel bad about our choices to always stay at an Airbnb because they don’t have the extra stuff. Yeah. And I love that idea of a stash and just be able go to the hall closet, like at home. Yeah. pull it out.

JoAnn Crohn (09:11)

Yeah. So at first I was very against staying at hotels, but I’m sure you’ve heard all of this stuff about over tourism lately. Have you heard this conversation going on? Places in Italy, Spain in particular, Barcelona, they are finding that their entire culture is being invaded by tourists every summer. Their home prices are going up because people are buying houses in the area and then using them to rent as Airbnb for tourists so that the locals are being priced out of the market.

Brie Tucker (09:20)

enlighten me a little more.

JoAnn Crohn (09:43)

Yeah. So I have been feeling better about staying at hotels lately because hotels are there because they want you as a tourist and you’re not raising the home prices for other people in the area by staying at a hotel. Very good. So that makes me feel better about staying at a hotel because I was too on the Airbnb thing. So they have all those things at the front desk. So I always think about that when I’m traveling that the necessary necessary things will be there. Yeah. In terms of itinerary.

Here’s how I go in, the attitude I have, Brie. I did all of this work and if you guys are not happy with it, you could do the work next time. Because it’s true, like there is so much into planning stuff for everybody else. And I could put plans on the table and what I found, my family gets really stressed out by plans. We need a lot of downtime. We need to manage our energy. And so usually we’ll like plan like one event.

per day and then everything else is kind of, yeah, we feel like doing that. That’s cool. We feel like doing that. That’s cool. That sort of thing. So it’s a little more less planned, more spontaneous.

Brie Tucker (10:51)

Yeah, I’m wondering if thinking back to the more involved vacations, which we didn’t do a ton when my kids were little. My ex was not big on traveling. So most of our vacations were just going to visit family. But I’m willing to have like an introspective moment here. Maybe the reason I have always been caught doing so much is because at home, I try to keep the house on schedule too. And as you know me so well, you know I love a good schedule. Even today.

You finished a task early and you messaged me on Slack and you’re like, I’m ready if you want to start recording. I’m like, can we stick to our regularly scheduled programming?

JoAnn Crohn (11:28)

Yes. And then my side comment to myself, I’m like, better be on damn time. I’m sure.

Brie Tucker (11:36)

Sure.

So like, I’m sure some of it is like a self-fulfill prophecy. My kids are so used to, my family is so used to me being in charge that they probably think I enjoy it, which I don’t. I feel like I have to do it out of necessity. So that’s something on me. I think before we have vacations, I would have done better when they were younger if I had vocalized that and said, I don’t feel like I actually get to relax. I’m constantly taking care of everything.

you get to get up early and go for a stroll on the beach. I don’t get to do that because who’s going to be here for the kids? You already got up and you left while I was still sleeping.

JoAnn Crohn (12:14)

Yeah, that’s definitely a conversation, right?

Brie Tucker (12:17)

Or like, I know that you want to go someplace that has like, you know, eggs Benedict, but the kids aren’t going to eat anything but cereal. So we can’t do what you want to do necessarily because you have to be thoughtful of everybody. That’s how I see it. So I do know I made problems. made problems.

JoAnn Crohn (12:34)

There is some other issues though going on there. This is not your fault, Bri. We’re gonna talk about that right after this.

So before the break, you were talking a little bit about talking with a partner who decided to leave when the kids were still asleep and therefore you couldn’t leave because someone had to be there with the kids or the partner wanting to do eggs benedict and there was nothing for the kids to eat. It is so funny because it reminds me of a conversation I had with my husband. I had taken the kids to San Francisco on my own. This was about two years ago.

And my husband was like, my gosh, I can’t believe you did that. And I think everyone around me was like, my gosh, I can’t believe you did that. ⁓

Brie Tucker (13:17)

I remember when you went on that trip. I was like, my god, you’re crazy

JoAnn Crohn (13:21)

You’re like, I don’t get it. And I went on that trip and yeah, there were some challenges in it that I did have to solve, but ultimately it was a really great trip, really easy trip. Really like, I just kind of went with the flow and we figured out things as we went. My husband came back and I tell him, I’m like, yeah, it was a great trip. I don’t have anything to complain about. And he sits there and he says, maybe the reason I don’t like vacationing with the kids is me.

Brie Tucker (13:48)

⁓ my god, what did you do? I would have been like Homer Simpson and that gift just slowly moving back into the butches. Never mind.

JoAnn Crohn (13:58)

⁓

Because he does have some very kind of set expectations and set behaviors that he likes to do. I was reminded of it when you said the eggs Benedict thing for breakfast, and then you know, the kids not wanting to do it. Case in point, it’s easier for him now to travel with our kids because we can leave them alone. Yeah, places. They’re older. For instance, we wanted to when we were in New York City, go on this walk, which is about

about a mile away to this Irish bread scone place that I had found on Instagram that I remember.

Brie Tucker (14:29)

You’re talking about that, yes, okay.

JoAnn Crohn (14:32)

And both of the kids were complaining, I don’t want to walk that far. why do you want to do that? And because they’re older, we were just like, cool, stay here. And we left them sleeping in the hotel room while we went to go get Irish scones. And it was a lovely morning and the scones were delicious. And my husband didn’t have to deal with their complaining because their complaining is awful. When I go on vacation with my kids, I am usually negotiating with them to be like, okay, here is my one thing that I want to do. I want to do this. Yeah. So come on this one thing, no complaining. And then we can go do something else that you want to do and something you want to do. You guys get to pick it and we don’t complain about what the other picks. And that’s how we work it. But my husband is not down with going on the kids choices. Like he doesn’t want to go to McDonald’s at all.

Brie Tucker (15:23)

Yeah. I can get that. My daughter is still obsessed with Denny’s. She loves herself a good grand slam breakfast. And so like we’ll go places and she’ll be like, Denny’s nearby and both my husband and I, my current husband Miguel will be like, Oh, can we go somewhere with a little more local flair? I do get that. It’s hard.

So wait, let’s back this up. There’s a couple of things that we need to share to help everybody out there that feels like vacations are not vacations for you. They’re a work trip. They’re a family trip. Some of the things that we can do to reset the mindset. One thing that I had a realization on is that I probably should have just shared with the family that that’s how I felt. I’m not saying that anybody would have stuck up their hand right away and been like, I’ll plan a vacation, mommy. None of that. But I do think that would have made a difference.

I mean, you can’t fix the problem if you don’t know it’s there, right? Yeah. So I think talking about it to other people and letting them know that you do not want to be the one who’s in charge. Because again, I’m pretty sure my family, when we go as a big group, they have me do it because they just assume that I’m okay with it and I’m not.

JoAnn Crohn (16:26)

Very sure, yeah.

And there’s also this dynamic that can exist with family members refusing to speak up about the itinerary. I know this because I see it in my extended family. I have a family member who plans vacations down to almost the minute, stuffs it with activities so that when, for instance, another family member comes into town, doing a really good job trying to be anonymous here, that person

get stressed out is like, ⁓ my mom has it planned from like sunrise to sunset everything we’re going to do and it’s just going to be exhausting. So yeah, we can meet up. have a free hour right here, a free afternoon here where there’s nothing planned for us to do. But there’s no conversation about how that’s not needed or like how it’s Hey, you don’t have to do this. This isn’t an expectation for you.

Brie Tucker (17:37)

And chances are good the person that’s doing all that planning thinks that that’s what a good host is. Yeah, what you’re supposed to do and

JoAnn Crohn (17:45)

when everyone else is just exhausted.

Brie Tucker (17:47)

Right? And I think some of that boils over from like our parents’ generation, that boomer generation of like, you’re supposed to be a good host or hostess and whatever. And what a vacation is supposed to look like. Because if you think about like us growing up with, you know, national lampoon vacation.

JoAnn Crohn (18:02)

Yeah, they have all these activities and all.

Brie Tucker (18:05)

That’s what it should be. But for a lot of us in the hectic day to day life we have now, to me, my favorite is like just walking around with no plans and I’m not checking my phone except to see what time it is. ⁓

JoAnn Crohn (18:19)

It’s because you and I are both very similar in terms of vacations. Like we can like go into a day with no plans at all and be totally happy. I know that my daughter and my husband, they do not like that. They want to know what the plans are. Even if the plans are just like, we’re going to go into this area, maybe see this one thing, then we’ll go to lunch. They have to know what’s coming up that helps them with anxiety.

Brie Tucker (18:45)

So how do you handle that? I’m curious because I think a lot of our listeners are probably in that dilemma where they want to have less control, they want to have more freedom, but they have certain people that in their family that are going to push back against it and be like, that’s not okay.

JoAnn Crohn (18:59)

It’s knowing, I think, the different personality dynamics in your family and knowing how you react to them. I mean, there was just a situation when we went to New York that I think I discussed on the podcast where we were coming out of a show and I really wanted to go to Milk Bar to get a piece of the Milk Bar pie. But it was like 10 at night. My daughter wanted to get back to the hotel. I had planned this route so that it was just getting off at a subway stop one stop before.

the milk bar location was on our walk back to the hotel. And my husband, knowing this change of plans, hearing my daughter complaining, it was stressing him out. And usually he said he would have shut down, but instead he took us to the side of the road and he’s like, I just need to know the plan, what is going on right now. And that’s when I told him my whole plan. He’s like, okay, that makes sense. Let’s go. So he just needed to be informed in the situation and keep that together.

I mean, that whole instance, I had to concentrate on what made me happy. I wanted a piece of that milk bar pie. I wanted it. Was my family entirely happy? No, they were not. My husband kept it together. My son felt like we were in a dangerous area because it was night and we were walking the streets of New York. We were not in a dangerous area. It was so ho. It was fine. There were people outside. It was fine.

Brie Tucker (20:23)

I’ve been there with the kids like that,

JoAnn Crohn (20:25)

Yeah. And so he was really stressed out and no one was happy. And so as I was walking down the street, I’m like, this is such a good milk bar. And just trying to keep in mind, like, what makes me happy. And it ended up at the end because I was able to keep myself under control because I was able to keep my mood solid. My son ended up apologizing to me, as did my daughter, because they realized how they were acting in the situation out of fear. And it did work out. 

Yeah, it’s hard. It’s hard making everyone happy. It’s impossible.

Brie Tucker (20:58)

Right? So I think that’s like, that’s also a mind shift change that we need to have for vacations. We both say this all the time. Okay, guys, this advice is coming from your friends, a child of raising children future, okay? Older kid future. We can tell you that it does get better, that it doesn’t matter how much you play on your vacations. There are going to be muckups where things are going to not go the way they’re supposed to. There’s gotta be fights. There’s gonna be meltdowns. There’s gotta be people forgetting their underwear.

It’s gonna happen, but that doesn’t mean that, my God, the entire trip is ruined. It’s all on you to come up with the solution. It’s not. It’s not. So.

JoAnn Crohn (21:38)

One little thing does not make a ruined trip. So yes, right after this break, we are going to give you three things to keep in mind to make your next vacation actually enjoyable.

Okay, Brie, let’s start in with these three things that moms can do, especially if you are a mom who feels like you, is all on you to make the best vacation possible for your family. So the first thing is to divide and conquer.

Brie Tucker (22:05)

Yes, and this is what I was talking about before. Talking to your partner, talking to the rest of your family, depending upon the age. Like if they’re three, I don’t know how much, I’ll go into some really high level, just basic skim at the top of things. And if you got a teenager, I would go into a lot more details, but sharing the mental load before the trip. Have a family meeting, talk about what we got to pack. What kind of food is going to be there? What’s going to be expected with the meals?

you know, what kind of behavior, like are we eating at home? Are you going to have to help cook? Are we going to restaurants? Navigation, like how are we getting there? What kind of modes of transportation are there going to be? Because like you just said with your New York story, nothing freaks out a kid more than having to walk through a city with crowded streets when they live in the suburbs in Phoenix.

JoAnn Crohn (22:56)

The streets are dark and they’ve heard all these things about New York being so dangerous.

Brie Tucker (23:01)

outside

and not melting. ⁓

JoAnn Crohn (23:05)

Yeah, no, but like, it brings up an interesting point because having that family meeting and talking about the mental load, because when I first started doing this with my husband, he pointed out that some things that I was worried about was nervous about, he thought were not needed. And I thought they were needed. And what we did is some things he was able to convince me. He’s like, okay, well, if we forget that we could just go here. I’m like, okay, no, you got a point. And some things he wasn’t able to convince me and those things that he wasn’t able to convince me.

I did one of two things. I either decided, okay, this is my thing. This is, care about it. I’m going to take it on. I don’t suggest doing that with many things. Really just one, if you’re very, very, very certain it needs to be done. But the other thing I did is like, Hey, this one really, really stresses me out. Do you mind taking this one and handling it since it doesn’t stress you out? And usually he’s like, yeah, sure. And then I left it to him. It was his responsibility. So if anything happened with it, he was the one who would need to problem solve to figure out how to fix the thing. Not me.

Brie Tucker (24:11)

Yep. I think that is brilliant because again, if you’re the only one maintaining the list and it’s a mental list, then how can anybody help you with it? Right? So share divide and conquer. All right. Let’s jump into tip number two. Take a vacation block.

JoAnn Crohn (24:23)

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So like pick one to two hours a day. That’s yours. Take it off. You get it time off. It’s funny. When I was a camp counselor, we used to get two hours a day off to ourselves every day. Yeah, because it was a 24 hour gig. We stayed in the units with the kids. We needed that time to ourselves. At another place, I was a camp counselor. We had our nights off except for nights that we were on duty. So you need that too as a parent.

Brie Tucker (24:44)

That’s important.

JoAnn Crohn (25:00)

Mine are usually in the morning because I am the one person in my family who does not sleep in. Like I just go like I am up. I will go to the gym. I will go on a walk around. Won’t work. I will sit down in the lobby and just like read or like I’ll take my laptop because I like to work and fiddle with things. Yeah. Find that block. What block do you take?

Brie Tucker (25:12)

Okay, so first of all, I want to say that if you are passing over this piece of advice, stop, don’t. This is so important. You are around your family all the time, all the time. Your vacation should include more than just you peeing by yourself, right? It should include more than that. So when I’m looking for something that’s my own, it’s normally my two…

favorite go-to vacation things. And you know, my favorite vacation is a beach vacation. So they’re going to pretty much be beach vacation things I’m going to say, but I love getting a really good iced coffee in the morning, sitting somewhere scenic where we’re at and just reading a book or reading the news on my phone. I like being able to read in a very calm atmosphere where I’m not feeling pressured to go do the next thing and the next thing, the next thing. So that’s one of my favorites.

Another one of my favorites is if I’m by the beach, just sitting by the beach. I could just go to the beach. I’m perfectly fine sitting there by myself. Yeah. I think that’s where everybody found me during the whole no guilt bomb retreat in Cancun. I was always at the beach.

JoAnn Crohn (26:34)

Sitting by the beach. It’s a great thing to do. And then our third tip for you is to plan for imperfection. ⁓ man, it is going to happen. And by planning for imperfection, you then, when it comes up, you’re not shameful to yourself. You’re not saying, why didn’t I think of this? You’re just taking it as it is. It’s messy. Family vacations are messy. The imperfection and the messes are usually where you get the best stories all the time.

Brie Tucker (27:03)

Right? Honestly, if you think back to your vacations growing up, the ones that you probably remember the most are not the most perfect ones. They’re probably, like you just said, the silly moments where everybody was able to laugh about something. Every once in a while, those perfectly planned, perfectly curated moments do stick around long-term in our minds. But I do find that the imperfections are normally the better ones. And then the other thing too is that if you’re not expecting and I don’t want to say plan for the imperfections necessarily because if they’re like me JoAnn then they’re going to carry an entire pharmacy with them and they’re going to bring

JoAnn Crohn (27:43)

helped me on occasion, your entire pharmacy. Yes.

Brie Tucker (27:46)

it does. We always know when we go on trips as a business that Bre has the meds. Bre has the meds, JoAnn has the tech. Brie has the meds, JoAnn’s got the tech. That’s just funny how that goes. I want to say, just be aware that mess ups are going to happen. You are perfectly capable of working through them. You work through them when you guys are at home. You can work through them when you’re out somewhere else. It’s not the end of the world.

JoAnn Crohn (28:13)

Letting them derail you because I hear from a lot of people that like, yeah, they steal your joy. I mean, just at our vacation in New York City, we decided to go to the top of one World Trade Center to the Skydeck. And I think I’ve been at every single Skydeck now in New York. I love Skydecks. Like I will go and, I just love them. I love looking out on the city. I know you do not love them. You do not love the heights.

Brie Tucker (28:36)

into a rooftop bar and I was like, I’m good here. I’m good in the middle of the rooftop bar. From a distance, we’re good.

JoAnn Crohn (28:40)

I can see the same

So I love heights. I love looking down on the city. I could have spent so much more time there. My kids went into moping mode five minutes in five minutes in. If I had focused on them moping, that would have been totally unenjoyable. I would have said they ruin the entire experience for me. I would have had to go back. And I think that’s what we let happen to us. Like we think that our kids happiness is essential to us being happy. And it’s just not the case. Now with toddlers.

If they throw a tantrum, yeah, they’re gonna ruin the whole trip. I would not recommend. That experience, that experience for you. If I had a toddler with me on top of one real trade and they’re like, let’s go like, I am totally responsible for that little human being. They can’t go off by themselves whatsoever. And so I’m screwed. That’s it for me. Well, I mean, I say that in a way because it’s just expectations, you know.

Brie Tucker (29:18)

Right. And I wanted to be clear. Like we’re talking about how, ⁓ if a toddler has a tantrum, they’ll ruin everything. We don’t mean that in a bad toddler type of moment. We’re just acknowledging. And that’s the earthing too, that we need to make sure that we remember. We are allowed to be mad. We’re allowed to be pissed off. We’re allowed to be frustrated. We’re allowed to be excited and happy and thralled, relaxed. All of those emotions are allowed. I guess what we’re saying more so is be prepared for the frustration.

And for things not working out the way that you tried to perfectly plan it. Because perfectly planned plans are still going to crash.

JoAnn Crohn (30:20)

Yeah, but with like the One World Trade Center, I was just able to be like, okay, well, I’m just going to stay here for a while, look out the windows. And my kids like just kind of huffed around on the sky deck, but I didn’t have to see them. They were doing their own thing. They were able to go through their mood on their own and they actually came out on the other side and was like, okay, this is cool. This is okay. But also like I would never have planned to spend an hour on top of the sky deck if I had a toddler with me. That would be unrealistic expectations on my part.

And with a 12 year old and a 16 year old, that’s okay. They can take care of their own emotions in that

Brie Tucker (30:56)

Exactly. ⁓ So if there is one thing we want you guys to take away from this episode, it’s that give yourself permission to do less while you’re on vacation. It’s okay. The world isn’t going to fall apart. The vacation isn’t going to fall apart because again, you’re going to follow those three pieces of advice. One, divide and conquer. Talk about it beforehand so you’re not holding it all. Tip two, take a vacation block. Make sure you’ve got those times for you to do the things that

JoAnn Crohn (30:57)

Yeah.

Brie Tucker (31:26)

are gonna make you feel happy and fulfilled. And three, just know that things are gonna go wrong. It’s gonna happen.

JoAnn Crohn (31:35)

little bonus packing tip here because it is something I live by. The only thing that you need to make sure that you have is your medication because that is the hardest thing to replace when on vacation. Medication. And if you’re going on a cruise, I don’t know if this still is, you need to get some ibuprofen because the last time I was on a cruise, they had no ibuprofen because it masks COVID symptoms and they didn’t want anyone masking the COVID symptoms.

Brie Tucker (32:03)

I would think Kyle and I would do the same thing, but all right.

JoAnn Crohn (32:06)

Tylenol as well, there was no pain relievers on that entire cruise ship. It was awful. It was awful. who had got COVID on the cruise ship?

Brie Tucker (32:17)

and that was back in 2021, right?

JoAnn Crohn (32:20)

It was our Alaska cruise in 2023.

Brie Tucker (32:24)

Oh God, okay, I don’t remember being that late, but you know, time kind of blurs together. That’s when you needed your pharmacy friend on that trip.

JoAnn Crohn (32:30)

Luckily, I had been traveling with you now for such a long time that I had my pharmacy on me and I was the ibuprofen source for the entire family. love it.

Brie Tucker (32:41)

One of my weird quirky things about me worked out in a positive way for someone else. I love you.

JoAnn Crohn (32:46)

Yes.

Oh, we have travel pain relievers for sure. Well, we hope that your summer vacations are stress free and they are more like vacations than trips for you. until next time, remember the best mom’s a happy mom. Take care of you. We’ll talk to you later.

Brie Tucker (32:56)

Thanks for stopping by.