Podcast Episode 401: Why Do You Feel Guilty Doing Nothing? Let’s Talk About That Transcripts

Please note: Transcripts for the No Guilt Mom Podcast were created using AI. As a result, there may be some minor errors.

JoAnn Crohn (00:00)

Welcome to the No Guilt Mom podcast. I’m your host JoAnn Crone, joined here by the brilliant Brie Tucker.

Brie Tucker (00:07)

Wah, hello, hello everybody ? How are you? Brilliant. Brilliant. That’s a high, high standard to live up to.

JoAnn Crohn (00:14)

You’re brilliant every day on this podcast, Brie. Every day, you’re the brilliant Brie Tucker. Pumpkin spice caffeinated today because that came out at Starbucks. Yesterday was the first day I got asked by my daughter to go yesterday. And I’m like, no. All right. I’m not a pumpkin spice fan. I don’t care.

Brie Tucker (00:20)

Sparkly. I’d say I’m the sparkly.

And you know I am. Like I like to say I’m basic. Make fun of me all you want. Pumpkin spice is my ride or die.

JoAnn Crohn (00:44)

I don’t think you’re basic. I think it’s great to have like big loves like that and things you can get passionate about. Like you need that. You need that in life. You’re not basic.

Brie Tucker (00:53)

It’s the joke about pumpkin spice latte is a basic witch. I’m trying to keep this episode clean for people. It’s a basic witch they say, but that’s okay. People in podcast land, I’m going to put a poll on this episode. Has nothing to do with the episode. I just want to know who loves pumpkin spice and who doesn’t. So if you’re listening to this episode, go to Spotify. There is a poll on this episode. I want to see how many pumpkin spice lovers there are in our audience.

JoAnn Crohn (01:22)

And how many are like me and you just don’t care about pumpkin spice. I’m a big coffee drinker. so pumpkin spice ruins my coffee. But Starbucks, it wasn’t a high bar to begin with. So let’s just say that. But we’re never getting sponsored by Starbucks on this podcast, obviously.

Brie Tucker (01:27)

You can spice all day or not at all.

The drink I’m drinking, it is the Starbucks pumpkin spice cold foam, but you got me into cold brews because I like those now. But that’s not what we’re talking about today, is it?

JoAnn Crohn (01:53)

We’re not, but it could be related because we’re talking about doing nothing and how it’s so hard to just sit and do nothing without feeling like you should be productive. I mean, I was feeling this last night, Bri. I was sitting on the couch and we did leftovers for dinner. My daughter was upstairs doing math homework. My son was playing.

There’s this new Roblox game called Grow Garden that all him and his friends are so into. It’s like you buy seeds and you plant them in a garden and some of the seeds are very rare and you have to get on at specific times to get them. It’s really funny seeing how into it they get. But anyways, he was upstairs playing Grow Garden and I was just down on the couch with my husband and I had nothing to do. Gloriously, and I felt so unmoored. Like I couldn’t relax. I couldn’t sit still. I felt like I had to be productive.

Brie Tucker (02:44)

It’s funny because like normally I can kind of go away from that, but no, I’ve had that feeling lately of like restlessness. And yeah, we had that over the weekend with my husband and I, he wanted to rest and I was like, okay, I’m dead resting. And so then he’s like trying to hop up and do stuff with me. And I’m like, no, I’m the one who has the energy. You sit down and rest. And it’s funny because I could say that to him, but if he said it to me, I’d be like, no, no, I need to get up and do stuff with you.

JoAnn Crohn (03:13)

Yes! ⁓

Brie Tucker (03:14)

I feel like it’s okay for other people to chill, but if I chill, I’m being lazy.

JoAnn Crohn (03:20)

⁓ that’s a deep one.

Brie Tucker (03:22)

And I think others have a similar idea to that. So I don’t think it’s just me.

JoAnn Crohn (03:27)

I have it too. So today we’re breaking down why rest feels so hard, where that guilt comes from and what you can do to actually enjoy the downtime without the shame. And by the end, you’re going to walk away with the whole new mind shift and a permission slip to just be and to just relax. Something that both Bri and I are working on as well. So with that, let’s get on with the show.

So Brie, why does doing nothing feel so wrong? And I have like a couple of theories on this one. First theory, which I think you can relate to as well, is the ADHD nature of both of us. Our minds are constantly going. And because of this, it can be hard to have it rest and relax and stop thinking because…

I don’t know about you, every time I sit down and rest, I think of, my gosh, I didn’t do this, and my gosh, I didn’t do this, and I need to do this for tomorrow, and I need to do this tomorrow. It’s like a ⁓ rolling list of things to do. Yeah?

Brie Tucker (04:26)

It depends on the day, I’ll be honest with you. My brain is pretty good about shutting off at the end of a work day, but yes, on the weekends, I 100 % feel like that. Like if I don’t have an ability to give you a checklist of things I accomplished during the day, then I just wasted a whole day, right? And nobody says that.

JoAnn Crohn (04:48)

Nobody says that now. Where did this come from? have to think we saw it growing up because I remember my parents being constantly busy on the weekends. All the projects, all the house repairs, the grocery shopping, all the things. So we had to have seen it. Where else might it have come from?

Brie Tucker (05:10)

it is just like a cultural thing. Our culture really values the hustle and bustle, the self-driven person. And I argue that there is a difference between being self-driven and having an inability to sit still and or rest without feeling guilty. You can be driven and still be able to give yourself rest. And I think that honestly, working with you here at No Guilt Mom,

We have interviewed so many experts and I feel like I keep hearing the same thing. Your brain needs rest. Your brain needs rest. It was never meant to go on, you know, 20 hours a day, nonstop. And that I really do take to like heart. I try to remember that. I really, really do. So it’s really shifted.

JoAnn Crohn (06:01)

We have that scale that you always have to fill out before each therapy session, asking you those questions. And restlessness is one of those questions. Like, how often were you able to sit and rest? And a symptom of anxiety, it’s a symptom of depression, this whole going, going, going and feeling like you can never stop and never be happy with what you have done. I got really close this morning to wanting to just drop out of the whole capitalism society game.

and just baked bread. ⁓

Brie Tucker (06:32)

Yeah, it does look nice doesn’t it like I’m always like if I could just find somebody to sponsor my life That’d be great. Just sponsor it right like can you imagine like every once in a while you’re like wow How nice would it be to just exist?

JoAnn Crohn (06:48)

I think like, yeah, if the terms of sponsoring your life, there comes with a certain permission because there’s not a set money amount that sponsors your life. Because if you have a set money amount, if you’re like well off and I would have to say like, I’m going to say I’m privileged and I fall into that category just because of my husband’s job. We have enough money. We do not have to worry about money. I don’t feel like I have the permission to rest. It’s not a money thing. It’s a internal mindset thing that I have to constantly be going, going, going, going. And I can’t rest.

Brie Tucker (07:18)

Okay. And that’s interesting. Well, first of all, the sponsor thing was just rolling along with the whole like, let’s drop out of capitalism thing. Like that’s why I’m like, just sponsor my life and then I can just do whatever the hell I want. 

JoAnn Crohn (07:25)

But I want to drop out of capitalism.

You mean like government sponsored give us health care and like provide for food and that would be nice. Yes. That would be nice.

Brie Tucker (07:36)

I didn’t even think about that, but yes. Yes.

It really comes down to is just, personally feel like I have to hustle. And if I don’t hustle, then I don’t deserve what is given to me. And I know that that is a messed up mindset. And I’m curious if we’re really honest with ourselves, how many of us have that mindset inside? yeah. Right? Like just sitting on the couch after dinner.

Did I earn my right to sit on the couch? don’t know if I did. ⁓

JoAnn Crohn (08:09)

I have it like in a slightly different way. I have it that I need to prove myself that I am worthy of anything because it’s like I’m not the one who contributes monetarily mostly to this family. And even though I hope that I’m voicing a lot of what other people say here and think here because even though I am the main caretaker of kids, I am the main emotional support, I am the main coordinator of activities, I get everything done. It’s because my husband brings in the money

I don’t feel I’m worthy and it sucks. Like that is so messed up that I am not worthy because I am not paid a certain amount of money and I hate that.

Brie Tucker (08:50)

Yep. Well, I mean, we’ve had Eve Rotsky on the podcast a couple of times and she talked about that. Like how we as women in general, we’re not saying every woman, but more than 50 % of women have reported that they don’t value themselves as high as their partner that makes more money. And they do note that. They note that it’s about the money making relationship. They don’t feel like their self-worth or their value is as high as their partner who’s bringing in more money and that’s not true. Like you just said, how much would it cost to have a full-time nanny, full-time dog sitter, full-time cook, full-time dietitian, full-time housekeeper, all the things that you do.

JoAnn Crohn (09:33)

And you say all those things. And here in my mind, here’s what comes out. Because there’s objections to that. It’s like, I don’t do that job very well. I don’t do that job very well. I don’t do that job very well. Because when we make the comparisons, I feel like to moms and how much they do, the first thing that my mind goes to is I’m like, but I don’t do all those things. I really suck at some of those things. That’s why I don’t deserve what I have. It’s messed up. It’s completely messed up. And yeah.

I can say like from a logical point of view, it’s dumb, but also it drives so much of my actions without even being aware of it. It happens a lot. We were just having this discussion with my brother and sister-in-law and I was saying how there is a tendency for women not to ask for help for others. And especially in our balance community, there are situations where the woman takes on a lot.

JoAnn Crohn (10:30)

like as we all do, takes on bedtimes, takes on grocery shopping, takes on all the things and has a capable partner at home. I’m not talking about the relationships that the man is just a total jerk, demeans the woman or like is like that. Nothing toxic. I’m talking about there is a supportive person at home. But for some reason in our culture, we were raised as women.

Brie Tucker (10:46)

Nothing toxic.

JoAnn Crohn (10:58)

to take it on instead of asking our partners for help.

Brie Tucker (11:02)

And it’s valued to some extent.

JoAnn Crohn (11:04)

It’s a Supermom thing. It’s valued. My sister-in-law said something like, yeah, because there’s such high expectations on us that aren’t on our partners. And let’s get into those coming up next.

Right before the break, we are talking about these expectations that are put on us as women and how we don’t allow ourselves to rest because we don’t think we are allowed to. We don’t think we’re worthy of it. How then do we reframe this rest so that we don’t blow up at people and we don’t take on too much? We don’t get irritable at everybody and like rage when things don’t go our way.

Brie Tucker (11:49)

That’s me. I don’t know the answer to that, right? Obviously, this is a work in progress for us as well. But I do think it’s important, like I said earlier in this episode, since coming on board with you here at No Guilt Mom, we have talked to so many experts in the field and they’re all saying the same thing in order to keep yourself from having burnout, anxiety, to keep yourself from having like health concerns.

higher rate of like heart disease, all those things. You need to rest. And you and I have gotten to a point recently, but I can definitely speak for myself on this, that my stress level has been insane. I’ve got a lot of stuff going on in my family. My dad is beginning stages of dementia. So my parents are growing older. My sisters are concerned about their wellbeing and there’s a lot of other stuff going on, but that’s a big one. That hurts my heart. But yeah.

It’s been so much that I am burnt out constantly. And you see it, I like snap over nothing. And when I feel that is when I’m like, okay, I’ve become more aware in my therapy sessions. My therapist is like, you gotta be more aware when you’re stressed out. So it’s like, okay, I need to rest. Like I work on that a lot in therapy about saying that I don’t think I’m worthy of it. I don’t think I deserve it. I think I’m a burden if I rest.

JoAnn Crohn (13:12)

Yeah. That’s it. mean, those are similar thoughts I have.

Brie Tucker (13:15)

Right? I’m like, it took me a while to figure that out, but yeah, we need to rest.

JoAnn Crohn (13:19)

And yet when I do have that restful time, when I go on a vacation and I’m not talking a trip, not one where you’re fighting with kids the entire time, but an actual vacation where you’re resting or I think of this whenever I get out of a spa and you like get a massage and you just feel like you’re on top of the world. And that feeling allows you to have so much more patience.

Like I’m the most patient person after I rest. I’m the most joyful person.

Brie Tucker (13:52)

you are so happy after a spa day.

JoAnn Crohn (13:54)

And yeah, I cannot afford spa days forever. Like I need to find another way versus someone taking my cell phone away from me and just telling me to lay there. Like I need to do something else. Reframing rest as something that you could do often, something that you don’t have to do an expensive thing for. That’s really the issue.

Brie Tucker (13:57)

We actively do that.

JoAnn Crohn (14:20)

And that’s the one like I’m trying to explore right now. I’ve tried meditating and I find like meditating for 10 minutes a day helps get me in a calmer state of mind. Just with an app on my phone or their stuff on YouTube. What helps you rest?

Brie Tucker (14:35)

Well, I’m still working on the meditating. My husband, he teaches meditation where he works. So he’s pretty good at it. You know, I have found that the best relaxation for me, I have to really shut everything off and my bedroom is still my sanctuary. So like I made my bedroom the way it’s just relaxing and warm to me. So I’m able to go up there and I can actually like breathe and rest and I can’t quite meditate just yet. I can’t quite shut the brain off and be able to focus on just what’s happening, but I can at least slow it all down. Yeah. Try to be more mindful of the moment. I do a grounding exercise sometimes. Yeah.

JoAnn Crohn (15:19)

That’s a trick I learned with meditating, like how it’s not a practice. You don’t get it right, but it’s practice of doing it over and over again.

Brie Tucker (15:27)

It’s not a destination. Is that what they say? 

JoAnn Crohn (15:31)

It’s a practice. So like I’ll be there and sometimes my mind will be really busy and visualization helps with me where all those thoughts that come in once I notice the thought instead of being like, I should think of this thought because that totally takes you out of your meditative state. It’s thinking I have a little feather and the thoughts a little bubble and I gently just tap the bubble with the feather and it goes away. So it’s like this little visualization like tap the bubble, tap the bubble, tap the bubble instead of trying to fight each thought. That helps me when I’m meditating.

Brie Tucker (16:00)

I will have to try that and see. Thinking about this whole like reframing rest, I’m just now wondering what my kids think of this. Because I would tell you, I have two teenagers, right? Like one just started college, the others in their senior year. I’d be like, my kids have no problem resting. They have no problem resting. They can rest all that they want. However, when I was their age, I was able to do that too.

JoAnn Crohn (16:26)

I was able to do that as well. What changed?

Brie Tucker (16:28)

Right, was gonna say I think there’s a shift when you become Well when you kind of become an adult because it just depends Maybe the shift happens when you start your career. Maybe the shift happens when you couple with somebody else Maybe the shift happens when you become a parent I’m not quite sure I think the shift changes for everybody but I think that that is why we need to be mindful of this because we know that our kids That are good at resting are going to have a ship later in life. And I don’t want them to be like this. I don’t want either of my kids to feel like this.

JoAnn Crohn (17:01)

The shift happened for me when I became a parent, when my time no longer became my own, where I could no longer calculate, okay, I can’t rest for this, but then I will have the time later to do this other thing that I want to do. Whereas when I became a parent, it’s like I had no predictability over the way I spent my time anymore. Because my kids needed me at any hour of the day and I was used to going to their every need and of course, because they were babies and little kids. Because they need you? Yeah.

Brie Tucker (17:36)

Oh my God, don’t even get me started on if you’re breastfeeding or anything like that. You really have no control over anything. Cause like you can’t sleep while your kid is breastfeeding.

JoAnn Crohn (17:48)

I did. Yeah.

Brie Tucker (17:49)

I just mean like you can’t do that all the time. You can’t.

JoAnn Crohn (17:53)

Yeah, no, mean, and I breastfed Eric for two years, like up until two years, it was a little less than two years. But yeah, and you just get used to that. I think you get used to focusing on your kids’ demands. And so getting off of that little routine is hard. And no one tells moms how hard it is that your job is to step back, your job is to make your kids more independent. You being there all the time for them is actually hampering their growth.

which is a serious thing. And let’s talk about that more right after the break. So this idea about us being there for our kids and knowing that us being there all the time actually hampers their independence and their growth and their problem solving skills and everything, it’s not told to moms when their kids are young.

Brie Tucker (18:45)

No, I mean, because I think there is the issue of when you first have your child, they need parents. So it could be your partner helping out too. Cause I know that was like a big thing with like by X he’d be like, well, they want you. So it should just be you. And it’s like, let’s start with that. Your kids do need you around, need a parent around consistently for their life, the wellbeing in the very beginning. But we’re talking about like, once they start moving into like, you know, top we’re hooding up. We really do need to give them the opportunity to do some things. We’re not talking about like not helping them out anymore. This isn’t a pendulum where it’s you’re either far left or far right on it. You’re either totally doing everything or not doing anything. But being able to start stepping back and seeing them do things on their own and giving them that ability is huge. And you get to be mindful in the moment and just enjoy it.

JoAnn Crohn (19:41)

Yeah. And you bring up an interesting point too about partners telling their wives, the kids need you. The kids want you. And it’s a recipe for disaster because the reason that they think the kids need you is because they are uncomfortable with the kids. That’s really it. The kids are doing their usual tantrums. The kids will say, I want mom because that’s who they’re comfortable with. But dad is not spending the time.

JoAnn Crohn (20:10)

to get comfortable and just passing it off.

Brie Tucker (20:13)

You know, it’s a typical child development state to go through when your kid is younger, like under five, for there to be stages where your child wants one parent over the other pretty strongly. Like they prefer one parent over the other. But any specialist, any psychologist, psychiatrist, child development expert, pediatrician will tell you, you don’t need to pander to that.

JoAnn Crohn (20:39)

Yeah. And it’s interesting because the CareGap just posted this on Instagram and I wanted to read it because it was a snippet of a text message where the mom had gone away on her first girls trip. And so she set up an auto reply to all of her husband’s messages and it’s pretty ingenious. And I feel like this is a great tie into actually doing nothing to take yourself out of the mental load when other people will try to push their way into your nothing space, but hear this and 

Think about how this makes you feel if you had this auto reply on. So the husband texted, the kids won’t stop fighting and they’re asking where you are. And I mean, this woman’s on a girls trip. We’ve had this happen to so many of our moms too on the No Guilt Mom retreat, they’ve gotten these texts. Here’s the auto reply. It says auto reply, not babysitting dash parenting. This is an automated message. I’m currently unavailable and on a girls weekend enjoying cocktails and uninterrupted conversation.

Your email about having to babysit your own kids has been received and automatically redirected to the folder titled Things That Aren’t My Problem. Please be reminded, they are your children too. It’s called parenting, not babysitting. Meals can be found in the fridge, snacks in the pantry, and patients deep within your soul. If they’re wearing clothes, alive, and mostly clean when I return, you’ve nailed it. I want to say that more, they need to nail more than that.

For true emergencies, house fire, loss of limbs, zombie apocalypse, call 000. For everything else, call your mother. I’ll be back Sunday night. Until then, enjoy this rare opportunity to meet the small people you helped create.

Brie Tucker (22:16)

Damn! Oh my god, that is so good! I was trying hard not to laugh while you’re reading it. 

JoAnn Crohn (22:23)

And I also worry about the relationship between them, but like, just coming from that standpoint. ⁓

Brie Tucker (22:30)

I’m just going to say they must have a very fun relationship to be able to say all of that to one another. Again, I wouldn’t ever say that to my first. That would not have gone over well.

JoAnn Crohn (22:40)

I know if they have a fun relationship because that sounds a lot of anger in that automated text message that might need to be dealt with in some therapy for both of them.

Brie Tucker (22:50)

I will agree with that one, yes, but I love the spirit she has in that. That is like so perfect. And like that was the other thing too. His text, the kids are fighting and they’re asking where you are. You, my answer would be like, I’m out of the office. Goodbye. That would have been.

JoAnn Crohn (23:02)

It’s like, what are you supposed to do?

There’s nothing you can do for that. And I think that a lot of women that’s put upon them that they’re supposed to when they leave, make sure that the kids are still happy at all times. Else like someone’s going to contact them.

Brie Tucker (23:22)

We have a magic wand that can just make everybody happy. And I got news for you, that magic wand contains a hefty amount of self-sacrifice. And when we sacrifice all of us, there isn’t enough left for us to enjoy who we are. That’s when that like self-loathing can kind of get pretty heavy of, I suck. I’m not a good enough person because people are needing more from me and clearly I’m not doing it.

JoAnn Crohn (23:53)

that’s a vicious cycle. Like saying that because people need stuff from me means that I am not doing enough. That is one. That is a people pleaser to the T. And I think like in situations like that, you need a little something you can say to yourself.

Brie Tucker (24:01)

People Pleaser to the T, is it not?

JoAnn Crohn (24:10)

during those times when people need you. It is not you. It is not me. This is how humans are. I like to say that my kid’s job is to need things. My job is to set boundaries so that I protect my time and my energy. And I think that when we say those things, that we are worth protecting our time and energy, that helps us rest as well.

Brie Tucker (24:37)

Well, I think that that is an excellent segue into, I would like to like give people some strategies. So let’s start with three. Three strategies to help people like be able to rest. And I think one thing you talked about, you talked about how you feel so much better after you’ve had a chance to go get a massage or something like that. And I feel the same way, and which is crazy, right? Because when you first met me, I don’t like people touching me, but I now,

through years of starting with facials, which then became like head massages, which then became shoulder massages, which then was like, okay, I could do this. I could do this, it’s worth it. Scheduling that time for yourself and keeping it, protecting it and making it your time that it’s just you, you’re not taking care of anybody else is huge. Yeah, it’s funny, like when we were looking at like examples, one thing was like,

Brie Tucker (25:36)

I have a meeting with myself on the couch with some chocolates and my favorite TV show. And you know what? Yeah. Yeah, you totally can do it. Actually, I go and I hide in my room and I watch shows that my husband doesn’t like.

JoAnn Crohn (25:52)

I do that all the time too. My husband retreats into his office to do puzzles. And so I’m like, gosh, like what am I going to do during this time? And I like thrillers. And so I’ve been reading a lot. I go to my room too, which is so comfy. And then I take a little nap because I love naps and it’s amazing. And I do set those times with myself. I usually don’t set those appointments though. I take the time.

when I have nothing else to do for those appointments. And I think that’s what I’m gonna change. I am going to change, just resting. Like being like, I’m out, I’m going to go rest. No one bother me. And I can say that because, you know, they’re 12 and 16, my kids, they can handle themselves for a little.

Brie Tucker (26:33)

Yeah. Yeah. And I think that’s actually like a really good thing to do too, when your kids are even younger. If you have a partner, lean on that partner. I like routines. That’s me. For me, if you’re like me and you like routines, you like predictability, then make it like a set thing. The first Sunday of every month, the third Wednesday of every month, I’m going to do this. So that way your partner knows that they can do that. And if you don’t have a partner, find a friend. Like that was one thing that got me through my kids was my group of girlfriends and you were a part of this. We had a group of us that all lived within like 10 minutes of each other. Our kids got along. They were all the same age and we would take turns on like holidays and school breaks and stuff. Just letting like, hey, you’ll take the kids and they’ll have a playdate at your house. And then next week I’ll have them at my house. And like that really helped a lot. Playdates alone help a lot.

JoAnn Crohn (27:28)

I think that the connection helped a lot too, because sometimes when the kids were playing, we would just hang out and we would have fun. they would be preoccupied with each other. And so it was great.

Brie Tucker (27:39)

Everybody got a play date.

JoAnn Crohn (27:41)

It was awesome. got a play date. Another thing to leave you with is to look at your self-talk. Look at what you’re saying to yourself. I say this as someone who has a real hard time with self-talk and I am trying every day to change my self-talk and how I treat myself. There was a phrase actually I saw in my psychiatrist’s office that I love. It says, I am strong beyond belief. I am powerful beyond measure.

that I’m like, I could tell that to myself and I could feel good about it because the problem I have with self-talk is I will say, you’re amazing. And it sounds very empty. It feels very empty. know?

Brie Tucker (28:20)

Yeah, no, I get it. You know what? When I hear positive affirmations, I think back to that skit on Siren Head Live in the 80s, 90s, where it was like, what was that guy’s name? Something, and he would like stare in the mirror and be like, you’re fun, you’re great. And gosh darn it, people like you. I have a hard time with positive affirmations, but mine that I do have is I am enough and I am allowed to rest.

Those are the two that I go to the most, especially when I’m feeling guilty about taking a rest. But I can also tell you that almost every time that I’m feeling guilty about taking a rest, it’s because I’ve been go, go, go, go, go all day. And I don’t know why. I can tell you I’m proud of everything I’ve done, but for some reason in my head, I’m like, I’ve been so productive. I don’t deserve to rest. I should keep this productivity up. And we’re here to tell you rest is success, people. Rest is success.

JoAnn Crohn (29:18)

Success. I hear that and I’m like, oh, I don’t know if I can buy that one. So if you’re like, if you can’t buy it either, just go, go to something you can. Bri and I talked about our affirmations. We look for the ones that work for us. Look for the one that works for you, that you can actually honestly believe and go from there and then celebrate when you rest.

Brie Tucker (29:41)

That’s my favorite, right? Because like we tend to celebrate our to-do list. We have a little thing we call, I don’t know if you heard it somewhere, if you came up with it on your own, but it was like, ta-das is what you said. Like instead of to-dos, they’re ta-das. And I feel like we need to start making it a thing to have like rest wins. When my kid asked me to get up and, you know, help him find his little purple Lego. I don’t know. I’m like really stretching here.

Brie Tucker (30:11)

I sat on the couch and said, you know what, have you looked in your room yet? And he’s like, no, I want you to help me. Okay, well, how about you go in there for a little while and then I’ll come in. Even that’s a win. You didn’t jump up. You didn’t stop and drop and jump into the help them.

JoAnn Crohn (30:25)

Yeah, there was a win today during body doubling. I want to shout out Brittany, one of our balance members. Her son is really fighting mealtime right now. He’s a toddler.

He was fighting mealtime and then he was screaming to be let out of his high chair. So they’d have to let him out. And then an hour later he would be like, I’m hungry because he’s too. Yeah. And today Brittany was like, no, I’m going to take care of this and I’m going to like shower first. He can wait for his meal time. And that’s a celebration. Making your kids wait so you can take care of yourself and do something for yourself. That’s a win right there.

Brie Tucker (31:00)

And I think every mom out there would say a shower is a win. Yeah. Seriously. I wish it wasn’t. We all know it is. We all know it is. Yeah. Yeah. So doing less doesn’t make you weak. It doesn’t people.

JoAnn Crohn (31:06)

I wish it was.

It’s one of the superpowers because we always say you need to do less so that your family can step in and do more. That is the way you can feel total support in your house because when we do it all, there’s nothing left for other people to do and help us with. And that’s, feel the recipe for burnout. So let us know how you feel about the episode today. Shoot us an email. Hello at no goat mom.com. And don’t forget to go take that pumpkin spice poll on Spotify. 

Brie Tucker (31:47)

I was going to be like, and don’t forget to go on Spotify and answer my poll question because I’m really excited about this. Like I started putting polls in on Spotify and I’m checking to see if anybody sees them yet. I haven’t gotten any responses. They’ve been up there for a few weeks. So go.

JoAnn Crohn (32:01)

All the Spotify polls knowing that like when you do a Brie becomes very happy

Brie Tucker (32:09)

I wanna win the spice latte poll. So please tell me there are other pumpkin spice latte lovers, pumpkin spice in general lovers.

JoAnn Crohn (32:16)

Yes. And until next time, remember the best mom is a happy mom. Take care of you. We’ll talk to you later.

Brie Tucker (32:23)

Thanks for stopping by.