Podcast Episode 379:  The Summer Reset: How to Actually Enjoy Time With Your Kids (Without Overcommitting) Transcripts

Please note: Transcripts for the No Guilt Mom Podcast were created using AI. As a result, there may be some minor errors.

JoAnn Crohn (00:01)

the timer goes off, you get up and start to leave. You don’t wait for them or don’t appear to wait for them. When I do this, I’m like, timer goes, we got to go. Let’s get up all our stuff. wait, wait, wait. I’m like, I need to get to the car. OK, I’m going to leave right now. 

Welcome to the No Guilt Mom podcast. I am your host, JoAnn Crown, here with the brilliant Brie Tucker.

Brie Tucker (00:26)

Hello everybody! How are you?

JoAnn Crohn (00:27)

the allergy filled Brie Tucker, which we were just having a rousing discussion of flown is this morning.

Brie Tucker (00:32)

Yeah, I think it’s about time to start double-fisting the allergy meds for me. I still got to stick with the Claritin to help with the itchiness, but I need the Flonase to help with more of all that congestion gunk. And the already knows. How does that work?

JoAnn Crohn (00:47)

All the congestion gone.

Brie Tucker (00:49)

And why does it happen during the summer?

JoAnn Crohn (00:51)

We have stuff blooming now. I don’t know. But like here in the summer, we know how crazy it gets in summer because it is that lack of structure, change in routine, things that just drive kids crazy. I mean, any teacher can attest when your students lose routine, everything goes to chaos. And that’s what happens to all moms every summer.

Brie Tucker (01:16)

It’s funny. So I have two sisters, right? We all have kids. My mom has watched all of our kids to some extent. And I asked her who was the roughest mom because she watched our kids when they were babies. It was me. And I’m like, why was I the hardest? Why was I the roughest? She’s like, because you wanted everything done on a very specific schedule and routine. And if it got off, she’s like, I felt like I was being interrogated about things. And she’s right. There’s a reason I don’t move my cheese,

I like my routines. I like things set in a certain way. And when summer comes along, I’m part of the chaos in my family because I go crazy about the fact that we don’t have our routines.

JoAnn Crohn (01:58)

You notice that to make yourself feel safe, you have to create routine and structure around you. Yes. Josh and I were just having this conversation the other night about like how people feel safe because I was referencing a podcast episode that we were doing with, it was a guest who came on and I was saying, ⁓ I don’t know these expectations of other people. Like I never liked to be told what to do.

Then I realized later on in the conversation, I’m like, wait a minute. had like all these expectations on myself as a new mom that I had a breastfeed that I had to do all these things. And he brought up the idea. He’s like, it’s how people feel safe in their environment. They put routines and restrictions around themselves because that is how safety was achieved for. A lot of people with parents who are emotionally everywhere build routines like that and are very, very structured like that.

Brie Tucker (02:43)

Yep.

JoAnn Crohn (02:54)

because they’re constantly trying to read if their parent is about to go into an emotional breakdown or not and how to prevent that.

Brie Tucker (03:02)

it actually stretched that out further to just the family you’re living with, because maybe you have a sibling. So like, I feel like I had some parts of a chaotic upbringing when one of my siblings kind of decided to just buck the rules and do it all themselves. It definitely made my life a lot more chaotic as a younger sibling. And so I definitely can tell you that’s one of the reasons I love my routines now. I like this being set because I don’t like the unpredictability. But with that all being said,

Brie Tucker (03:31)

Hahaha

JoAnn Crohn (03:33)

That’s what summer brings you, the unpredictability. So how you are experiencing summer as a mom is very individual to you. There is no right way to do summer. There is no right way to run your house. There’s just the way that you are happy with that also works enough for the people around you that they could be relatively content as well. Adhering to rigid routines may not make everybody else completely content. As an example of that, I have a ton which we’re going to get into but we are going to give you a permission slip to prioritize a rhythm versus a rigid routine. That permission to give yourself what you need that I think is the solution to so much guilt and stress that we feel as a mom. I’m working on my third book right now, Bri. As you know, today is what June 5th. I am almost done with that rough draft.

The rough draft is going to be done next week, which I am super excited about. It has taken me a while, but that’s going to be coming out in fall.

Brie Tucker (04:39)

And isn’t that book about giving yourself permission?

JoAnn Crohn (04:42)

It’s about giving yourself permission for the things to make you happy and to not relying on other people’s permission to let you do the things that you want to do. That said, there is a compromise and we’re going to talk about that, especially when it comes to summer and summer routine.

Brie Tucker (04:57)

As JoAnn noted, we are recording this in June, it’s airing in June. And actually, right now, as this episode drops here on June 19th, we are actually doing something really fun to help make the summer what you want it to be and to help you support your children to make the summer what they want it to be without you necessarily being involved in everything. We are doing the Summer Vision Board Challenge right now.

And it is pretty freaking awesome right now. So if you haven’t checked it out, just visit our no get mom website or any of our social media, get in on this. It’s a contest. We have prizes just for you coming up with a fun vision board. And we’ve even got like a starter pack that gives you everything you need to come up with a vision for the summer of what you want the summer to look like and have your kids do it of what they want the summer to look like.

JoAnn Crohn (05:49)

I am looking forward to seeing all of those vision boards and what people want to create out of their summer because I know just being intentional and actually making a goal for yourself. If goal is too strong a word for you, if you don’t like the word goal, just like thinking of something you want to do, something you want to experience, that thing is more likely to happen because you have taken the time and set down the intention for it. So go download the starter pack with everything there for you. Starter pack is absolutely free.

and it’ll give you all the instructions there on how to enter our contest.

Brie Tucker (06:22)

Yep, is in the show notes, people!

JoAnn Crohn (06:24)

⁓

And so with that, let’s get on with the show.

You want mom life to be easier. That’s our goal too. Our mission is to raise more self-sufficient and independent kids. We’re going to have fun doing it. We’re going to help you delegate and step back. Each episode, we’ll tackle strategies for positive discipline, making our kids more responsible and making our lives better in the process. Welcome to the No Guilt Mom podcast.

JoAnn Crohn (07:05)

Okay, so we’ve talked a little bit about this summer structure schedule and this need for routines. I could tell you that I have a family member who, when I talk to other family members, I can’t give too much away.

Brie Tucker (07:20)

We have to walk a very, very fine line sometimes, guys. People we know listen.

JoAnn Crohn (07:26)

Yes. This particular family member, every time they go on vacation with their family, they create a very rigid schedule and times like this time we’re going here, this time we’re going here, this time we’re going here. So much so that these other people feel there is not a moment to breathe and that they are constantly on the move and doing something that would be a rigid schedule. That is not what we’re talking about for the summer. We do not want you to plan out your summer.

By the hour, we don’t even want you to really like confirm or decide you’re going to do certain things. We’re talking about some rhythms you can put in your summer to give you back that sense of control and to give your kids a little sense of routine so that they won’t go crazy on you. Yeah.

Brie Tucker (08:16)

Yeah and I can even attest as someone who loves routines, that when you try to schedule out every minute, especially of the summer. like, in my past life, when my kids were younger, I worked for the school district for like a big chunk of that elementary school timeframe for my kids. So I would work and I had the summer off with my kids. So it was a reset for all of us.

I had the summer off, which was different for me, and my kids had the summer off, which was different for them. And when I would try to keep tight timelines, it just gave me more mental load, more work. It made me resentful at my kids and at life in general when it didn’t follow my very well-structured plan.

JoAnn Crohn (09:06)

which you thought through completely and you had reasons for doing what you’re doing and if anyone would just listen to you their life would be so much easier.

Brie Tucker (09:15)

Thank you JoAnn! I had thought about every possible scenario!

JoAnn Crohn (09:18)

I know your thought process.

Brie Tucker (09:23)

I would get mad when my kids didn’t follow it, when, like I said, when life happened. And then eventually I did learn a couple of summers in that I just needed to have a looser concept of things. And then it was like, ⁓ so much better, so much better.

JoAnn Crohn (09:41)

Well, we’re gonna get into three simple frameworks that you can use and apply during your summer. And we’re gonna do that right after this.

So when we’re talking summer and rigidity and schedules, it is different depending what stage of life you’re in. I mean, I have a different summer routine now than I did when my kids were younger. And I just want to be very, very honest about everyone’s summer routine. I am with older kids able to concentrate specifically on my own schedule. I get up at 6 a.m. to run a body doubling session where I write my book.

I then get ready between seven and eight 30. I’m back on for our balance community at eight 30 with Jojo. I work straight through to lunch. may like, I pop out here and there to talk to my son who’s watching all the episodes of nine one one.

Brie Tucker (10:34)

I love that show. I love it.

JoAnn Crohn (10:36)

Yes. Going back and forth between 911 and then he’s upstairs playing on his computer for Roblox and then he’s texting with his friends as well. I’ll break for lunch and maybe eat with the kids or maybe we’ll get door dash or whatever. Come back to work, do Pilates in the afternoon, make dinner at six and we all sit down. At least I try. I try to get them to sit down. I feel like we really have to be honest about this one because sometimes my kids snack, they’re like, I’m not hungry. And that drives me insane.

It drives me insane, Brie, insane, because I’ve put all this work into meals and there’s veggies in there and veggies help you poop. Damn it.

Brie Tucker (11:12)

You know what’s funny is that in my house, okay, so well, first of all, my oldest, he’s an 18 year old boy. So he eats like a freaking Hoover. I mean, that boy will eat anything. It doesn’t matter. When Miguel and I try to cut out carbs, we’ll buy like the grain free chips and we’ll have salad bowls for dinner. He don’t care. He’s happy. He’ll eat all of it all gone because it’s substance and that’s all he cares about. So he eats it all.

But my daughter, as you know, is a little bit more picky. She’s 16, gonna be 17. And it’s funny because I love you so much, my honey, but she’s too lazy to have to go looking through the pantry to find snacks. She is too lazy. She’s too lazy even to tell me she’s hungry. She’ll like text it. I’m hungry. Let’s go. When’s dinner? We always have dinner between six and seven. Mike, it’s between six and seven. Yeah, and she’ll text me at 445, but I’m hungry now.

Okay, you can come down and make something. It’s actually your night to cook dinner. You want to start now? Like, whatever, but she’ll just pick through. She’ll just pick through part of the dinner.

JoAnn Crohn (12:11)

Yeah, it changes definitely when they’re older and even when they’re younger too. But I do not make anything separate. They come, they sit and they talk with us. If they want to be silent the entire time they talk with us, I will talk for them. I will say everything. Apparently last night, and my gosh, my kids are going to die of embarrassment for this by the way. If they even, they wouldn’t listen to the episode. But I found Epicurious YouTube’s channel and Epicurious is a cooking magazine, our cooking thing. okay.

JoAnn Crohn (12:49)

but they have these like the best fettuccine Alfredo you’ll ever eat and the best mac and cheese. So I like watch these videos because I’ve always loved watching cooking videos. And I was describing fettuccine Alfredo and I’m like, yeah, did you know fettuccine Alfredo when it was brought over from Italy? There was like no cream involved in it. It’s just Parmesan and butter and the Parmesan and butter emulsifies and that makes it look creamy. But when it came over to America, Americans thought that there was cream and so they added cream. And so

Both of them were just laughing. I’m like, what? And they’re like, mom, stop saying the word cream.

Brie Tucker (13:24)

That’s when turned to my kids and I’m like, you all have the humor of an 11 year old boy.

JoAnn Crohn (13:32)

Pretty much. Pretty much. And I’m like, I was talking about fettuccine Alfredo. And they’re like, but you didn’t have to say that word so many times. I’m like, but I did.

So there’s all there’s all of that. Those are our dinner conversations, by the way.

Brie Tucker (13:52)

My dinner conversations when I talk for my kids go something like this. So how was your day? ⁓ it was great. A lot of fun. really? Tell me what you did. Well, I got up at 11 o’clock. I took a shower, played some video games and then went to work at three. And all of them just stare at me with this like pissed off face when I do that. And I’m like, well, they’ll talk and I don’t have to do this. I keep hoping if I’m annoying enough that they’ll kick in, but it hasn’t worked yet necessarily.

JoAnn Crohn (14:22)

But that’s a realistic summer. That’s a realistic summer. And then after dinner, usually my daughter goes back to her room. My son goes either downstairs to watch more baseball and more nine one. And then I’m here trying to fit myself in wherever I can. Because teenagers, that’s what it looks like now. When it looked like when they were younger, my goal in life was from the hours of 8am to 11am to get my kids out of the house and tire them out. Yeah.

I could have some time to focus and relax in the afternoon. my god. them out was usually physical activity of some type, taking them to the park, enrolling them in a Parks and Rec class, taking them to the jump, anything I could do to tire them out. That was my goal.

Brie Tucker (15:07)

Yep. I totally remember that because like they are just, huh, they need you. And that’s the part that, mean, don’t get me wrong. I love being with my kids. Yeah. Even when they were little, I loved being with them, but that’s not to say that I wanted to be their main source of entertainment and everything 24 seven. know, that’s where I think things have gotten kind of weird for us.

JoAnn Crohn (15:34)

Right? ⁓

Brie Tucker (15:35)

It’s kind of turned into, I feel like there isn’t a lot of in-between on the spectrum these days. It’s either you love being a mom and you’re hashtag blessed 24 seven and you do all these things with your kids all the time or you’re labeled a bad mom because you don’t. You don’t love all the time. You get touched out and it’s frustrating. And we’re here to tell you there’s an in-between in there. You’re still a good mom.

Even if you get touched out and annoyed and you need to figure out how to handle the summer where they’re suddenly around 24-7.

JoAnn Crohn (16:11)

You’re still a good mom if you don’t want to spend all that time with your kids. Yeah. It’s ridiculous the expectations that are put out on us right now. It’s called intensive mothering, this societal expectation that moms should be there all the time, protect their kids from everything. And it’s also to be said that intensive mothering could be the reason a lot of our kids are anxious growing up because they have

been put in those strict schedules and been entertained the entire time, haven’t been allowed to experience as much strife or struggle as perhaps we did where we were just left to figure things out on our own. I mean, I was parked in front of the television and I knew TV very well. All the TV shows, all the actors, I knew them very, well because I was figuring it out on our own. But a routine, a ritual, we promised you three of them. Let’s go through three of them. We’re gonna do the first one right after this.

Okay, so our first one, Brie, going into it, it has to do about the morning. And remember, depending on the kind of age of kids you have, this is gonna look different. When my kids were younger, our morning routine was to do just something outside of the house. And that was my only goal. That was the only thing planned, do something outside of the house. Typically, it would be meeting up with another kid because kids have so much more energy than I do.

and we moms could just sit on the side and like relax and talk while the kids just ran amok.

Brie Tucker (17:37)

And it’s important because they gave that it’s funny. This is all pre COVID obviously, because our kids are, yeah, they’re teens now. But even pre COVID, we knew that that social interaction piece was really important, because they needed to have the but why conversations with their friends, and they needed to do the imaginary play that goes on for hours with their friends. Yeah, mom doesn’t have the mental capacity to keep that up at that level. They can do it.

JoAnn Crohn (18:07)

Things like going to the zoo, we had an annual pass to the zoo. ⁓

Brie Tucker (18:11)

do you remember those? I think they still have them, those passes we would get. February? No, Pogo.

JoAnn Crohn (18:16)

Pogo passes Pogo passes. Yeah. Where you got all of these entrances to all these activities around the area. jump parks. We’re good. Splash pads are a thing here in Phoenix. So like splash pad or the pool signing up for summer swim lessons, which is a whole in itself.

Brie Tucker (18:37)

Yeah, like, my gosh, you know, another big one we would do to to get my kids out of the house because you know me, I’m all about the freebies. Yeah, I would take them around because we live in a metropolitan, pretty big metropolitan area. There are many different libraries that are part of different cities. So I would sign my kids up for like the different reading programs at all the different libraries. wow. We just have days that we would just rotate. So it’s like Monday is the city of Tempe library.

Wednesday is the city of Chandler library and Friday is the Maricopa County regional library. So we would go to each of them. They’d all have different fun things happening for the summer. got different environments. They were getting motivated to read by somebody other than me and they were getting prizes at all these different libraries. So that was a big thing. Yeah.

JoAnn Crohn (19:28)

Yeah. But obviously this is a summer routine for parents who work from home or stay at home with their kids. When you work outside the home, your summer routine is basically started for you, but maybe your kids are staying at home and you would like them to do something other than stay on their screens all day. If you have kids 10 and older and you work outside the home or you’re not there all the time, something that you might want to start with them is just like a little breakfast ritual.

And it doesn’t have to be big, nor do you have to prepare it. It is just gathering at the same table and eating whatever you want and just asking, hey, what do you plan to do today? That’s it. That’s all. Just setting those expectations and intentions. A lot of what we do for our summer vision board contest, know, the intention helps create more in the future. Setting the intention for your day, using like the morning to do that helps kids.

focus on, okay, what is it that I do want to do today? Do I want to spend the entire day on my phone or do I want to pursue this other thing that I’ve actually been interested in?

Brie Tucker (20:35)

my gosh. Remember those summers where our kids would just be all into science experiments and like crafts. my gosh. kids could do hours of making slime or painting or like all that jazz. Just making it simple. Just a snapshot. Like you just said, just do one thing. And so maybe the mornings, those are awesome. Yeah. So moving into like another one.

JoAnn Crohn (21:03)

like moving between activities. If your child has trouble, like say you do the fun morning thing and then you’re like, okay, got to go back to work. And your kid’s like, no.

Brie Tucker (21:06)

That’s what I was going to say, transitions!

Brie Tucker (21:16)

“But Mom I need help with…” ⁓ I can’t think of anything right now.

JoAnn Crohn (21:21)

It’s really hard, yeah. Or like, wanting to leave the playground or not wanting to turn off the screen time to do something else.

Brie Tucker (21:28)

or not wanting to go to the activity next that you have planned. They wanna skip ahead to activity number 22.

JoAnn Crohn (21:36)

as really simple rituals you can use for transitions is just the in five minutes ritual, but make it tied to a timer so that you do not have to be the enforcer. This was a trick I learned very early on in parenting and I love it because when you’re like, hey, we need to leave soon. And sometimes I add on an additional choice. like, do you want to leave in five minutes or 10 minutes? Even though I’m fine with whatever, you know? I like.

Brie Tucker (22:04)

it gives them their little bit of control. They get to be the one in charge.

JoAnn Crohn (22:08)

A little bit of control. And usually they always say 10 minutes, but you sometimes they may not be digging it, say five minutes. And so I’m like, okay, cool. I’m going to set this timer for like five minutes. And when it goes off, it’s time to go. And you might be thinking, JoAnn, I try that and they keep doing a tantrum and I tried to reason with them and they don’t do it. So here’s what to do with that. Okay. The timer goes off, you get up and start to leave. You don’t wait for them or don’t appear to wait for them. When I do this, I’m like, timer goes, we got to go. Let’s get up all our stuff. wait, wait, wait, wait. I’m like, I need to get to the car. OK, I’m going to leave right now. And I’m leaving. I keep an eye on it to see if they’re following. Sometimes I will even like if I can keep an eyesight of them, I will even get so far get in my car and they will see that I am ready to leave and I’m serious. Now, does this work with all kids? No, it doesn’t work.

with our kids. There are some kids who will try to call your bluff. ⁓

Brie Tucker (23:10)

⁓

And those are called spirited children. Spirit. Which we do have those two. We do have spirited children.

JoAnn Crohn (23:14)

they will call your bluff. And my best thing is like, this is a case by case basis, guys. I am so sorry you have to deal with this.

Brie Tucker (23:28)

Every day, every transition.

JoAnn Crohn (23:31)

Every day, every transition, this is a case by case scenario. It really depends what motivates the child. And my best advice here is you probably know what motivates your child. My kids are motivated by a promise of more screen time because you know, they had screen time things. Okay, like, you know, let’s get in, you could do this in the car, which I knew they liked, or, hey, we’re gonna go and get like a sweet treat here. Let’s go.

It’s not a promise of if you do this, then we’ll get it. It’s more of a, hey, look what we have to look forward to. We can go there. That’s the best way I’ve found to deal with spirited children. Be like, take it or leave it. You know, we’re just going to go, OK.

Brie Tucker (24:13)

Yeah, I mean that honestly does and I think that’s a big factor right there. If there was any one trick that worked that you could just wave your magic wand, do the strategy and every child would respond to it perfectly. The person who created that would be a millionaire. Yeah. Billionaire would be the richest person on the planet. We’ll say. Yeah, it’s not. There is a case by case basis. So for the most part, that transition toolkit does work and it is important to know what motivates your kids. Yes.

JoAnn Crohn (24:30)

Yeah. It’s not possible.

JoAnn Crohn (24:40)

Let’s repeat that again. You need to know what motivates your kit.

Brie Tucker (24:44)

And you also need to hold your boundaries. That’s another big one. Because if you try the transition toolkit, like we just talked about, you’re doing the five minute or 10 minute, you set the timer and you don’t follow through with it. They learn that that’s not a solid boundary for mom.

JoAnn Crohn (25:02)

It’s hard to follow through to and true a tip to do it when I had to follow through on making a change in my house and it was with my daughter’s bedtime. And I was like, no, I’m not getting out of bed. If you want to go to bed after 9pm, she cried for a good hour and a half. It was very, very emotionally taxing. If my husband had not been there, I think I would have probably given in. I would have definitely have given in. So as a tip, find another mom that you go to the playground with that you do something with and you guys use this together so that when your kid is having that tantrum and they’re refusing to leave the environment, that other mom is right nearby you and you could be like, okay, this is really, really hard. We’re just going to ride through this. Let’s think about some other things right now. Let’s ride through this. It’s going to work. It’s going to work. It’s going to work again, case by case scenario. So if you’re like, when you don’t know my family, you have no idea what you’re talking about. Or I feel so much guilt because this hasn’t worked. is something else going on.

JoAnn Crohn (26:00)

Once you figure that out, my gosh, it’s gonna be magic for you.

Brie Tucker (26:04)

Thank you. That was the point I think that we want to make sure that you hear and you walk away with on this is that, and I feel like we’re harping so hard on this, it’s because you important. Important. It is so important that first of all, you can change your mind. That is fine. That’s not the same thing as not holding your boundary necessarily. Okay. So those are two different things. Let’s acknowledge that. We’re not going to talk about it. The other thing I wanted to point out is that,

Brie Tucker (26:34)]

when you’ve tried the transition tips and it didn’t work. So you said, okay, nevermind. We’re not going to leave. You can’t decide then that this transition trick doesn’t work because you didn’t follow through with it yet. So maybe it does work. It just is going to take a little bit longer for this kid than it did for that kid 

JoAnn Crohn (26:58)

or there could be also something going on that you have no idea about. case in point, one of our balance members came to a coaching session and her question was, how can I help my kids have more compassion? Because what had happened was that they were on a vacation, her daughter needed to use the bathroom in the Hotel room. Her son was like “Why? Why do you need to use the bathroom? Why?” and all of a sudden her daughter just loses her complete temper on her brother, Slams brother’s finger in a door.

Brie Tucker (27:27)

OW! Okay!

JoAnn Crohn (27:29)

Yeah. And so she’s like, how can I help her have more compassion for her brother? And I was like, well, wait, there’s something else going on in that situation. Because it doesn’t seem she’s described her child, I know how her child reacts based on working with her. It doesn’t seem like this would be a way that your child typically responds to things. It would be a pretty outlandish reaction.

Brie Tucker (27:37)

Yeah.

JoAnn Crohn (27:57)

just to slam someone’s finger in the door because they wouldn’t let them use the restroom. What I’m thinking is that something else happened in that situation. Maybe it was an interaction they had before time. Maybe it was self-shame that your daughter was talking to herself in a specific way and that was her reaction, her emotional reaction from that. There are so many variables in every situation. If you’re talking about a kid not wanting to leave the park, maybe they’re waiting for a friend who’s always at the park, but they’re not verbalizing that to you. Maybe at home, they feel really uncomfortable, or maybe they just want to be outside and they don’t want to go inside because go being inside makes them feel like all cooped up. And that’s the reason they don’t want to leave. There’s so many variables is what I’m saying. So to really, really figure this out and to see if like a transition time works, you have to know how to question and you have to know how to figure out.

what the actual issue is because I promise you, your kids, they are reasonable humans. There is some logical thing happening.

Brie Tucker (29:04)

Normally there is something going on there and I’ll just give out the simplest solution. It doesn’t always fit, but it fits a lot of the time is halt. Is somebody hungry? Is somebody angry? Is somebody lonely? Is somebody tired? Yeah. Yeah. And the younger your kid is, the least time that they’ve had to label emotions and to understand them. So they may not always understand that they’re hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. So just know.

and I forget what the studies are, but that Holt alone, I’m going to say that takes care of, my opinion, like 75 % of all the tantrums. If not more, there almost always meltdowns come from that. And they almost with me, ⁓ my God, I had been such a terror in my household this week. This is Thursday. Ever since Monday, I have been losing my freaking mind. By the time the evening comes, I’m done. I am pissy.

JoAnn Crohn (29:37)

Call it alone is a great one.

Brie Tucker (30:02)

And you know what it is? I’m hungry. Hungry. I’m trying to eat cleaner. So that means Brie can’t just pull out like a bag of chips and munch on that during the day while I’m here working. It can’t just grab an uncrustable out of the fridge. I need to eat cleaner because I am an adult. I’m not a five-year-old, but I’m hungry. So I’m cranky. And I recognize that. anyway.

JoAnn Crohn (30:04)

Yeah.

Hunger is a big thing. Hunger is big thing. Our final problem that you might come to in the summer is that it’s impossible to get kids to go to sleep because summer has no structure. And it’s like, why do I need a bedtime? Because I’m going to go to school.

Brie Tucker (30:41)

Exactly my kids were so huge on that and it was always such a fight in our household because their dad had trouble sleeping at night so he would go to bed really early. But during the school year, not a problem because his bedtime was 30 minutes after the kids bedtime so it worked out really well. During the summer, moi included because I didn’t have work the next day, we’re like, well we want to stay up later and then it can become hard, it can.

Brie Tucker (31:08)

the helpful part would be still having a consistent ritual at night. You can always shift the time, but make it consistent.

JoAnn Crohn (31:16)

And it doesn’t have to be anything big. Our ritual is dinner. That’s it. It could be dinner out. It could be door dashing in. It is just sitting around each other for dinner. That’s Mark’s, our evening endpoint. From there, everything’s predictable. And honestly, since my kids are older, they’re staying up later than I am. And I’m going to bed because I need my sleep. ⁓

Brie Tucker (31:38)

Like last night I had to cut up in the middle of night pee cause that’s what you get to look forward to as you get older.

JoAnn Crohn (31:45)

I always had that issue.

Brie Tucker (31:48)

TMI for some people, but whatever. If you’re laughing, then you get me. Anyway, I got up in middle of the night to pee and I’m all like, huh, I wonder if my oldest got home from work yet. So I had to go check the camera to see if he like came in the house when he works till close. He doesn’t even get home till between 11 and 1130 at night. And girl, I was out by nine 30 yesterday. Crunky hungry Brie needed some sleep.

JoAnn Crohn (32:13)

yeah. You know what you needed. Yeah.

Brie Tucker (32:15)

And so I got up I checked he’s home. He’s in bed. I’m like, okay life is good I don’t have to fret anymore about this

JoAnn Crohn (32:21)

Yeah, and if you’re having bedtime battles with your kids because they’re younger, set a bedtime. You don’t have to have the summer stretch out. Set the bedtime.

Brie Tucker (32:29)

I was gonna say setting at bedtime is actually a huge motivator because you know what? That means for special occasions during the summer, you can have an extra 30 minutes after bedtime. I used to use that like, cause guys, I was a reading monster when my kids were little. And I mean that in a positive way, like cookie monster. So we not only like went to all the library reading programs, JoAnn, but I also made them one for home.

So they also had one that they won quote unquote prizes for at home where they got to like, you get to have an extra 30 minutes of video games. you get an extra hour of bedtime, all that kind of jazz. By having a consistent bedtime during the summer, it gives you that trump card you can pull out and be like, here you go. You get to stay up later. It’s awesome. Here you go.

JoAnn Crohn (33:20)

Yeah. It’s a great thing when you have those routines in place, your rewards can be moving the routines. It’s like you’re creating your own rewards. So it’s a great strategy for parenting.

Brie Tucker (33:33)

Yes, for your own sanity, it helps a ton. I want to do a call to action here, people. We already mentioned that we are doing something right now. We do have the Summer Vision Board contest going on. Lots of prizes going on with that. You can click the link in the show notes below. But I want to find out. I would love for you guys to leave us a review or write in as a comment if you’re listening on Spotify or you’re listening on YouTube and tell us, what are your summer reset hacks?

What are some rituals that you have during the summer that are gold for you?

JoAnn Crohn (34:06)

Yes. and let’s save your sanity. We want to know. We want to share them. Yes. So remember, the best mom is a happy mom. Take care of you. We’ll talk to you later.

Brie Tucker (34:16)

Thanks for stopping by.