Podcast Episode 421: Why Yelling, Sticker Charts & Bribery Aren’t Working (And What To Try Instead) with Dr. Doug Bolton
Ever find yourself yelling across the house for the fifth time to get shoes on, only to be completely ignored… and then bribing your kid with a cookie just to get them out the door? Yeah, us too. It’s a tale as old as school drop-off. We try rewards, we try consequences, we try staying calm, and somehow, nothing sticks. So what gives?
In this episode, we’re joined by Dr. Doug Bolton, a clinical psychologist with over 30 years of experience helping families, schools, and communities build connection and resilience. He’s also a dad of three who knows exactly how chaotic real-life parenting can be…and in his new book, Untethered: Creating Connected Families, Schools and Communities to Build a Resilient Generation he doesn’t sugarcoat it.
Dr. Bolton challenges the old-school parenting mindset that kids just need better motivation to behave. Spoiler alert: your child isn’t manipulating you- they’re stressed. And that behavior you’re seeing? It’s not defiance. It’s dysregulation. But here’s the twist, they need you regulated first. (Yes, even when you’re running late and everyone’s crying.)
This conversation is a total game-changer if you’ve ever wondered, “Why does this keep happening?” or “What else am I supposed to do when nothing works?”
Want to know why traditional discipline methods often backfire? Or how to respond when your kid completely loses it -without losing your cool right along with them? Dr. Bolton shares the answers and trust us, you’ve never heard them explained quite like this.
In this episode of the No Guilt Mom podcast you’ll learn:
- Why your kid’s “bad behavior” might not be what you think — and what’s actually going on beneath the surface.
- How your stress level (yep, yours!) can totally affect your kid’s behavior — plus how to get back to calm without hiding in the pantry.
- The 3 things every kid needs to build resilience — and spoiler alert: it’s not perfection, it’s connection.
- Why sticker charts and timeouts might not be helping — and what to try instead that actually works (and feels better for everyone).
Resources We Shared In This Episode:
Snapped at your kid and instantly regretted it? Grab our FREE guide: 3 Actions To Take After You Say Something You Regret, and reconnect in less than 17 seconds.
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Access the full episode transcript HERE
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