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Podcast Episode 249: Our 1-Star Review Transcripts

Please note: Transcripts for the No Guilt Mom Podcast were created using AI. As a result, there may be some minor errors.

Brie Tucker: It is not my job to ensure everyone’s happiness in my life. It’s not your job to make sure your mom is happy. It’s not your job to make sure your spouse is happy. It’s not your job to make sure that your kids are happy.

JoAnn Crohn: Welcome to the No Guilt Mom podcast. I’m your host, JoAnn Crohn, here with the delightful Brie Tucker.

Brie Tucker: hello, hello, everybody. How are you? Wait, wait, would you say that we’re delightful? Because the whole purpose of this episode is people that don’t think we’re delightful.

JoAnn Crohn: They don’t think we’re delightful.

Brie Tucker: of, kinda.

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah. I mean, like you put yourself out there and, uh, you’re going to get some criticism. Honestly. That fear of criticism has held me back for so long and I think it’s held a lot of people back for so long that we, we just wrapped up our Happy Mom Summit this past week and we were looking through all of our attendee feedback and reviews and this one review popped out at me.

It was a one star review, Brie, and I saw this and immediately like this rage came over me at first. I’m like, how dare they? And then. After the rage passed, because you have to like let rage and emotions pass, then it was Well, this is very informative. So we’re going to get in,

Brie Tucker: I like how you said that well, this is very informative,

JoAnn Crohn: we’re going to get into what exactly that one star review said, how we’re dealing with this people pleasing and everything about that. So if you’re a people pleaser yourself and you have a hard time setting boundaries, or you don’t like it when other people say bad things about you, this is the episode that you need to listen to. And while you’re at it, can you go review us on Apple podcasts?

Brie Tucker: we’re going to hope that you don’t give us

JoAnn Crohn: love it.

Brie Tucker: review on there, but you know, be honest,

JoAnn Crohn: we’re hoping, we’re hoping it’s not a one star review on

Brie Tucker: we’re hoping that that you enjoy us more than that. So. Love the five star reviews for sure, but yes,

JoAnn Crohn: for sure.

Brie Tucker: share with others about what you enjoy about us. If I wanted to throw in that, I mean, this episode is, is like our working title right now is one star review. So I

JoAnn Crohn: oh, but, but to give you all a little teaser, we will share a little bit about when we did get one star reviews for the podcast without like naming names and what happened there. So,

Brie Tucker: also a people pleasing thing. So

JoAnn Crohn: listen to this podcast episode and now let’s get on with the show.

Okay, free. So this one star review, it was so funny because I was actually on vacation with my family as I was going through these and we were in Portland, we were in this hotel, a side note, the nines hotel in Portland. Gorgeous, amazing, highly recommend. And it seems like you look at the pictures and it looks like a really expensive hotel room, downtown Portland, it was one 54 a night. Like that’s pretty good for downtown Portland. And I paid for it on points. And I was really excited about that because

Brie Tucker: You

JoAnn Crohn: anytime I could get

Brie Tucker: It was a deal.

JoAnn Crohn: it was such a deal. It was such a deal. Um, but beautiful hotel. So I, I wake up earlier than the rest of my family and I brought my computer since we were just wrapping up the happy mom summit. So I went down to the lobby and I was looking at these attendee feedback surveys. And this is the, this is the feedback that was very different than the rest of the feedback. Like most, everyone else was very complimentary. Say that happy mom summit. Life changing experience, had so much fun, met so many great people.

And then there was this one. I was overall unhappy. I didn’t enjoy the speakers at all, as they all seemed to have a different worldview than I did. I was hoping for practical advice. And here’s the kicker, Brie, it all seemed to be so self centered and focused on what is best for me as a mom without any regard to my family’s needs. This is not the approach I was looking for and will not be participating again in the future. And like I said, Rage, rage first because it’s like nothing like putting three months of your work out there to get it bombasted like that. It’s okay, though It’s okay. That’s just normal feelings

Brie Tucker: Well, yeah, and my, and my thing was too, like when I saw it, cause I didn’t, I, I didn’t I do not get up as early as you do. I so I

JoAnn Crohn: you do not

Brie Tucker: I had read some reviews, but I hadn’t seen that one yet And so when I saw this for the first time I saw it the first time with the rest of the world on Joey on On our no guilt mom Instagram out there in the world.

I’m like, oh my god. Look what she did she put it out there and my immediate response was Well, somebody missed the whole point of the summit, but then we were talking about it some more. We’re like, well, she missed it and she got it spot on.

JoAnn Crohn: got it. It was totally spot on. That’s exactly what we preach here at

Brie Tucker: Right. My, my point of missing it was like, well, the registration page was pretty clear that it was about. So, you know, taking time for you, focusing on what you need to refill your cup as a mom so that you have something in your cup to share with the rest of your family, your friends, your loved ones, and life. Because if you’re constantly stressed out, depleted, and overwhelmed, you have nothing for anybody else. You have no capacity for anybody else. So

JoAnn Crohn: Exactly. Exactly. And that, that’s what I saw in this after Rage. I was like, well, wait a minute. Like this, the, exactly what you said, this is what we’re trying to do as a company. And she just did not agree. And I loved it being written like that because

Brie Tucker: well articulated on this. I’ll say that. Her message was

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah, this is

Brie Tucker: which is helpful.

JoAnn Crohn: the entire message we’re trying to get out there that being self centered is okay. It’s good actually being very attuned to your own needs, knowing exactly what you want, asking for what you want, asking for the help. It actually makes it so much better on the people around you because they don’t have to guess. They, they know how to keep you happy because you’re telling them exactly what makes you not happy and what makes you happy.

Brie Tucker: I, right, I think that it comes back to, again, like, so I hear the word self centered and I have a little twist in my tummy. I’m like, Oh, I don’t, I don’t think that that’s articulated very, I don’t think that’s the right word and or right phrase. And then the more you were talking, just, I mean, literally like this was 20 seconds ago, my brain was going, well, no, wait, that is the right term,

JoAnn Crohn: Mm

Brie Tucker: but it’s just had such a negative connotation given to it. And I, and we talk about this a lot on the podcast, like everything in life is about moderation. They’re, they’re like, okay, yes, there are times when being focused on yourself is very important because again, like if you are. If you don’t, if you’re not focused on yourself, like you just, you don’t know that you are stressed out. You don’t know that you are at the end of your, you know, uh, emotional capability to support anybody else in your life. And, and unless, I’m not even getting started on the fact that it’s not your job to take care of everybody else’s emotional stance

JoAnn Crohn: No. It’s not. Yeah, that, that phrase, without any regard to my family’s needs. And that was the point I was like, hold on.

Brie Tucker: Did you really watch him? Did you really?

JoAnn Crohn: That, that’s not the approach actually. The approach is when you take care of yourself, you’re actually more available to take care of others. But that’s not your sole purpose in life.Your sole purpose in life is not to take care of others. It’s not to take care of yourself. family. You have many purposes in your life. And if you’re listening to this right now, you have many purposes in your life. And it is not just to take care of your family. It’s also you want to give a contribution to the world.

You want to change the world for the better. Maybe you want to accomplish something great. Like when you think of your purpose, I want moms and women to think Beyond just serving in the home because there’s so much more impact that we can make out

Brie Tucker: Well, and I think to, to add onto that is like, think about it with your kids. Is that all that you, like, not, not saying that it’s a bad thing, but do you really want your kids to have no regard for anything in their life outside of serving their family for the rest of their lives? No, you want them to have things that bring them joy and happiness and God forbid people will be in situations where.

Their family isn’t there for whatever reason, like, right? Like, what if my kids never grow up and, and decide, they decide they never want to get married, but they decide they want to be single the rest of their life. If their whole purpose in life and all they’ve ever seen is that happiness comes from serving your family, then how are they ever going to be happy if they don’t have that one piece there? Like, I,

JoAnn Crohn: Well, and it also like begs the question about what happens when kids grow up and you don’t have those, like, where are you? And so many women find themselves lost at that stage. I mean, I saw my own mom go through it when I went to college, like she was lost at that, like, did not know what to do with her time, with her energy.

And, um, she’s, She’s now watching my nephew. So she has it back again, but still I worry about her constantly not having an outside passion other than taking care of others. And if you hear this and you’re like, Oh, JoAnn, how dare you say like, take, not taking care of others is an outside passion. It can be

Brie Tucker: And it, but in a bigger capacity, right? Like,

JoAnn Crohn: it goes, yeah, it goes beyond just your immediate kin in the home. Like it could be. Much bigger than that. So like without any regard to my family’s needs. I was like, ah, that’s written a little wrong, but it’s okay I understand how these work. Like people are not perfect. I do not say the most perfect things in the world I like say things and they’re taken a completely different way than what I intend them. It’s okay. It’s

Brie Tucker: awesome if you only came in at one point. In a conversation, like we, we were talking about, uh, before we started recording this, but an Instagram post that someone took one line out of a long Instagram post you did and,

JoAnn Crohn: Oh, yeah,

Brie Tucker: it, and take it out of context, it was a little

JoAnn Crohn: sounds like I agree.

Brie Tucker: It was, it was a little off from what your main point was, but it’s so like, so like, yeah, if you were to, if you were to come into any of those. 32 presentations and speakers that we had talking about how to refill your cup, how to handle all the things that help you, that help ditch the overwhelm and the frustration and the things that make us like snap and lose our patience and our daily lives. If you were to walk in and get a snippet of it, yeah, you could think that what we were saying was like, well, forget your family. Just do what makes you happy. And we’re like,

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah, that’s

Brie Tucker: we, and while we do say do what makes you happy, you don’t have to do everything for everybody. At no point did we ever say ditch your family. Throw them out on the street.

JoAnn Crohn: Put them in a van down by the river make that sticker come

Brie Tucker: Yes. Alphina’s saying, ciao, I’m out of here, people.

JoAnn Crohn: Well this it really goes into people pleasing and what I thought like I would never be okay with I thought I would never Be okay with criticism. So if you think that way, too we’re gonna share some more stories with you right after this break. okay. So Brie, right before the break, like you were talking about how I posted something on, I posted it on Tik Tok. I posted both Tok and it was reposted and taken out of context. Now I have to say that as a business owner, when you’re trying to get your company out there.

It’s, it’s hard and there’s a lot of vanilla stuff out there and there’s a lot of vanilla stuff that we say to everybody else as well. So if you’re a writer, if you’re anybody trying to like get attention and get people to come to you, there’s a lot of like just vanilla out there and it’s because They’re trying to make everybody happy and I feel that’s common for a lot of people like if I go to Events with friends like at any parties or anything where I don’t know many people well, and I’m trying to make conversation There’s a lot of vanilla conversation happening. Like do you have you ever been in this free where it’s like, okay we’re just talking about the weather and Then we’re gonna talk about this other presentation

Brie Tucker: I’m all about vanilla, though. I don’t, I don’t care for the, I, you and I have a different, like, and it’s funny because We have a different pace that we like to have those conversations. I’m a, I am a vanilla person. I like the small talk. I, I could talk about the weather all day long. What do I do to every single podcast guest that comes on? I

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah, I

Brie Tucker: Cause for me it’s like, yeah,

JoAnn Crohn: think that’s a great intro. Like, if you need to start a conversation, totally. Like, the weather’s a great in. It’s a great in. But if it stays about the weather, that’s where I’m like, ehhh. And I’m going, because I’m done with this conversation. There is nothing of any interest to me here. Um, and I think that’s That’s kind of how I operated for such a long time.

I didn’t want people mad at me. I didn’t want people offended at me. I didn’t want to offend anyone else. I didn’t like everything. And I think that a lot of, a lot of women feel the same way. Like I, I know that a lot of women in our balance community feel the same way. We’re just about to start phase five with a people pleasing and boundaries and people are super stoked and excited.

And I’m super stoked and excited as well, because this is something that along with mom guilt is holding women. Back and when we’re able to totally own ourselves and stand behind what we say and know that in our hearts it is valid and know that we can also repair any situation where we may say the wrong thing and mess up because I’ve done that, like

Brie Tucker: We all

JoAnn Crohn: just propels us with confidence. Uh, so yeah, this reel that I did was all about how it’s mom’s responsibility to monitor screen time. And I, it gets me really, really

Brie Tucker: Which we’re gonna have a whole nother episode about. I know we’ve had a couple about screen time, but this one has a very unique flavor to it that we’re gonna

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah. It gets, it gets me so mad because you see all that advice, limit kids screen time this way. Limits kids screen time this way. And we don’t get to the core question, what Why are moms having to be in charge of kids screen time? Like, why are we pushing this on women? Why is this only being shared between women?

Like, I don’t see many of the guys concerned about kids screen time at all. In fact, my husband’s like, yeah, go play in your rooms on Roblox for like a few hours. I need to get some work done. And. That’s completely okay for him. So the fact that like we as women are being held responsible for it and that it’s dominating so much of our conversation, it just pisses me off.

And I’m like, uh, I’m done with it. So I started a real yesterday and it said like, I was working during the day. My kids have been on my screen on screens. Most of the morning, like if they’re not on screens, what else are they going to do? And then I went into being like, you know, no kids are playing outside with them.

Um, they, like, I need to concentrate, so I’m not available for massive amounts of questions. Uh, I mean, books are fine, but I mean, my kids don’t gravitate to it. They want to go on screens because that’s how they interact with their friends. That’s, you know. It’s just there. And so it was taken out of context and it was remixed in a reel.

Um, that said, uh, had me quoted as if kids aren’t on screens, what are they going to do with like nothing else there? Like no other explanation, nothing. And, uh, she was really nice. She said, she loves, she loves me. She loves no guilt mom, everything, but kids need to be bored. They need to be bored. And I agree with that to an extent, but it’s also like, Seeing stuff I say taken out of context, I, I know how it works.

Like I know how social media works and I’m like, I don’t fault them at all. But at the same time, that would have killed me. If I was at a different stage in my life than I am right now, it would have killed me. and going through the, yeah, yeah, going through that over and over again. I mean, like I tell this story of when I was like in the ultimate homemaking bundle and another really big creator said I was too much in the review. The information’s good, but she’s a little too much. What was the review? And.

Brie Tucker: That is, that is also something that has become so big. That is everywhere. Like, just people talking about the whole, like, You don’t need to turn yourself down. You’re not too

JoAnn Crohn: No.

Brie Tucker: They just clearly are. Oh, gosh, I had a really, I’ve heard a really good comeback for it and I forgot what it was, but it’s like, you’re not too loud. They’re just, uh, their volumes just set too low or something like

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah.

Brie Tucker: Like, they just, their capacity for. For sound is too low. So yeah, don’t ever apologize for that. Man.

JoAnn Crohn: and it’s also women have been taught to police other women. When you go outside of the feminine norm and ideal, other women are going to come after you. They totally are. It’s just how the patriarchy is set up. And I say patriarchy a lot because I don’t want to blame other women for this. I don’t want to blame men for this behavior.

This is just like the system that we’re all taught to be in. And if we don’t make ourselves aware of how it influences us, we can never change or get out of it. So like. Me being too much, was I louder and more enthusiastic than the average person? Probably. That’s how I am. Um, and did that fit into the nice feminine ideal where I question what I say and I still say what I say?

Like finish every phrase with a question mark be like, yeah, well, maybe this will work for you too or or this is how I do it I don’t know about your family like all of those little like placating things that don’t show a strong opinion I wasn’t following any of that. And so that would probably be too much

Brie Tucker: Yeah.

JoAnn Crohn: see a lot of that. You saw Brittany Mahomes get it with Patrick Mahomes. Did you see that

Brie Tucker: Yeah. Oh, yeah.  Kansas City Chiefs related. Yeah, I saw it where she she asked, which way do we go from here? And they said that she was being rude.

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah

Brie Tucker: I think so. I think this kind of comes back to we’re fighting against being told that we’re only good if we make everybody happy,

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah,

Brie Tucker: again, it, like, if there’s one thing I would love for somebody to walk away from this episode with is that, It is not my job to ensure everyone’s happiness in my life. It’s not your job to make sure your mom is happy. It’s not your job to make sure your spouse is happy. It’s not your job to make sure that your kids are happy. Do you get to be concerned? Do you get to be like invested in their well being? Yes, you totally get to be invested in that, but you’re not the sole Proprietor of responsibility of everything that happens, like, you’re just, you’re just not. That is a recipe for disaster.

JoAnn Crohn: it is and it’s like impossible to make everyone happy Anyways, you’re always gonna upset someone so you might as well make yourself happy first and just make sure you’re kind and like I say kind and respectful, but that could be interpreted so many ways what I mean is like I hold my strong opinions And I’m like, Hey, like, I, I’m going to hold myself to this.

I don’t agree with something you’re saying, but you know, this is my view. That’s your view. Here we go. and it, you can’t make everyone happy. In fact, one time we thought we were doing the right thing on the podcast and we ended up upsetting so many people. Um, and I promised you that story about all of our one star reviews on the podcast. We’re going to tell it to you right after this. Okay, so Brie and I have never talked about this publicly ever,

Brie Tucker: Oh

JoAnn Crohn: but it was,

Brie Tucker: of a sore spot for Brie at least. Like, I don’t know how I, I still don’t entirely know how I feel about the whole thing. I know I feel like

JoAnn Crohn: a zinger.

Brie Tucker: rough, but yeah, go ahead.

JoAnn Crohn: It was our first one we came under attack for something and, um, we had the best of intentions, but it, it backfired horribly. In some ways. and it happened about a year ago. so we, had the pleasure of interviewing Mr. Dave Hollis, who, wrote a children’s book. He used to be married to Rachel Hollis.

and he, he was a great interview. He, showed his love for his kids, his family, this great example that he was setting for all of them. Uh, this book. Bookie he wrote that was coming out. Like it was a really wonderful, heartwarming interview. And the day the interview was supposed to air, it was Tuesday, February 14th, 2023. yeah. I remember it. And I opened up my Instagram and I see his picture shared by, uh, Jamie Kern, Lima, who’s an author and I’m like, Oh wow. How, how, like, Bizarre. Like she’s posting a picture of Dave, like right on the day our episode airs, that’s, that’s cool. Like, and then I read the caption and I learned that he had passed away suddenly, which was a shock.

It was a complete shock just because also he was such a wonderful person when we talked to him. And so I. I was like, grief struck and stricken that like, someone could be taken away this fast with no warning whatsoever. I know I reached out to some other podcast hosts who had interviewed him as well, and they were, they were feeling the same way. and at the same time, we had this episode that it aired already, like, it was already

Brie Tucker: The joys of being on the Pacific. I mean, Pacific time zone. We’re like, yeah, that thing had already been out for a while before we even woke up that day.

JoAnn Crohn: would, yeah, it had already been published. And so, uh, you and I talked and we’re like, okay, like let’s, let’s just record a little intro saying like where, where this happened. and like, we want to dedicate this interview to him. It was a great, great interview and shows him as a wonderful man and he’ll be missed.

and so that’s what we did. We put it out there. And then like a few hours later I start getting like. Bombarded on Instagram about how dare you using one man’s death for your monetary gain and To get more podcast listeners, like you should be ashamed of yourself.

Brie Tucker: I’m like, that’s not, no, what?

JoAnn Crohn: first of all, that’s not how it works. Second of all, like it wasn’t our, it wasn’t our intentions whatsoever. And I did respond to that one and I’m like, it was already out, but like this person was having nothing of it. They were just on the attack. And then we got like, what? Five, six, seven.

Brie Tucker: Then Reddit came after

JoAnn Crohn: reviews. Yeah, but first, first we saw the reviews like of those reviews that were just attacking us saying we were horrible people. How dare we? And I mean, you could go back and Apple podcast. It’s when you’re leaving a review of five stars, uh, how to

Brie Tucker: see a batch. A little batch.

JoAnn Crohn: see, you could see the batch of the one star reviews. so we were like, what is going on? Like, I don’t know what to do. I reached out to my mentor.

I reached out to everyone. And like, my mentor was actually like, yeah, I saw a Reddit thread. You guys were mentioned on this morning involving this. I was going to tell you, but I just forgot. I forgot. And I’m like, it’s okay. So I go find the Reddit thread and there it is. They’re saying like this, and there were some people on there, supporting us and being like, Hey, this wasn’t right at all. Like you guys are reading way too much into it. And basically what we had to do is we just had to let it go. Run its course not fight back against it and eventually people lost interest and moved

Brie Tucker: Well, yeah, but I mean, it’s a really good point, because we really had to sit there and think, like. First of all, we both had to fight against our people pleasing aspect of like, okay, well we need to make This person happy that’s reaching out to us on Instagram, um, and telling us that they’re unhappy. And then it was like, well, wait a minute.

First of all, is making this 1 person happy going to be what’s best for the overall thing? Because again, our whole purpose was to shine light on and be like, this, you know, Dave was a wonderful person. He was fantastic. Listen to this great book. That’s still coming out. That he is, that is like, because I can’t remember the book had just come out or is getting ready to come out, but it was like, he still wrote this amazing book with this child.

You, we still want the content to be there. And by pulling it back, it’s like saying that let’s not, let’s not talk about, let’s not hear about any of the great things he was doing. And also it makes it seem like there was something nefarious going on there by pulling back. I felt, I felt so like it was, so we

JoAnn Crohn: it was

Brie Tucker: torn on that and it, and I don’t think either of us felt good at the end of the day. It’s like, no matter what option we make, we feel terrible now.

JoAnn Crohn: no, but looking back at it we did do the right thing overall just sticking with it and like riding the wave through all of the criticism and harsh comments because They’re hard to take but you do it.

Brie Tucker: no, go ahead.

JoAnn Crohn: You do it once, and then it becomes easier and easier to put stuff out there. Because after that instance, and after like all my emotions had passed, I’m like, well shoot, I can’t really make people happy.

Like, it’s like, it’s an impossible thing to, to think that I could, this could be under my control. Like it’s not under my control whatsoever. And it gave me the freedom to say, well, I’m. Might as well just put what makes me happy out there and like I can stand behind and that I think will help people because there’s always gonna be someone complaining and trying to bring you down and they don’t matter as much as the people that you’re actually doing it for and actually trying to help Yeah

Brie Tucker: the, and the other thing to keep in mind too, is that. So yeah, so that’s, that’s the, um, very public version of it, right, of the, of people pleasing, of people trying to bring you down, never going to make everybody happy. Pulling this more into the view of the scope of, of your role in your family. There’s always things that you’re going to do that’s going to upset another family member for whatever reason, like we, we just recorded an episode this morning, um, with Julie Cole, Mabel’s Labels, and we were talking about mom guilt, right? And how your kids being like, mom, you know, you’re always working or you’re on your phone all the time.

Your spouse could even be like. It feels like you’re always going to your yoga class and I, whatever. Right? Like you’re always going to have someone that’s going to be unhappy, but you can’t please everybody and pleasing them to the, to the, um, Ah, the words are not coming to Brie’s brain right now to the removal to the

JoAnn Crohn: To the

Brie Tucker: There we go. To the detriment.

JoAnn Crohn: yourself. Yeah.

Brie Tucker: was like little flashers just went off in my brain. Like, like you just won, like the jackpot. That was the word.

JoAnn Crohn: Sometimes I’m on it with words and sometimes I am not, and I don’t know what the

Brie Tucker: Sometimes words

JoAnn Crohn: I could, like, bottle

Brie Tucker: sometimes words are hard. Um, but yeah, so like trying to make other people happy to the detriment of yourself doesn’t do anyone any good. Because for starters that only perpetuates that thought process they had going on. Mom is on her phone. That means she doesn’t love me. She only loves me when she’s not on her phone, not realizing that because mom is on her phone answering this email, making this phone call, doing whatever she needs to do, that’s what allows mom to be with me for the next hour, right?

Because she did it that way instead of being in the office or whatever. And that. By going to have, and like our, say our spouse is like, you’re never home, you’re always go to yoga class or whatever by going to yoga. I’m keeping my body fit and I’m keeping myself happy. And I’m that the fitness means that I can run and play and not be exhausted.

Uh, my, my joints don’t hurt, and I’m feeling fulfilled and happy and rejuvenated. I know you hate that word, rejuvenated, when I come back, but, but by you giving that up, that makes them, it just perpetuates that story that they’re telling themselves that you don’t love me and that’s why you’re not here. And that’s not true.

JoAnn Crohn: and it makes you resentful. It makes you resentful because it’s something that means a lot to you and it’s going to impair your relationship. I mean, like I have, I have conversations with my husband all the time about him staying late at work. Like he’s always staying late at work. He’s always just forgets like how late he is or like he gets pulled in by somebody else and he like talks.

Talks about it. And it’s like, it’s at the point now where I I’ve told him so many times. I, he knows it makes me unhappy. He apologized each time he does it. And I, it’s just something that is in his personality that as much as being loud and out there as in my personality, this whole, like getting distracted and losing track of time, it’s in his personality.

It’s in it. So they’re like sticking with it and like apologizing, of course, for being like, Hey, like, I know I missed this. I’m sorry. Or mine. I know I yelled in your ear. I’m sorry. I know I divulged too much at the family dinner. I’m sorry. Those are the things I do. But

Brie Tucker: Oh God,

JoAnn Crohn: I mean, it’s like, it’s just a give and take.

It’s an apologizing thing. But if there is something that makes you happy, that people are like pulling back against you, I mean, that is a fight that’s worth fighting. Fight that fight. Um, they’re, they’re gonna like come around it or something. It’s going to create a better relationship between the two of you because through me, through my husband staying with it, that fight, it has told me that, Hey, you know what, this is something I need to accept just, just as he needs to accept me being loud and out there.

Brie Tucker: I mean, so like, we’re not saying that when somebody comes to you again, like to anonymous, to our one star review, anonymous person, we’re not saying that when someone comes to you and says that something that you have done has upset them, that you should be like, well, forget you, I’m doing what makes me happy.

We’re not saying that that what we’re saying is just pause, hear what they said. And then think about why you did what you did. And if why you did what you did was. Fulfilling something that makes you happy and had healthy boundaries, and you would love to see your children and or your loved one expressing as well on their own, then you say, I hear you. I’m gonna do it again, but I hear you. I

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah. I

Brie Tucker: right? I hear you, and this is why I did XYZ. I hear that that made you feel like, da da da da da da.

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah.

Brie Tucker: why I did it.

JoAnn Crohn: Exactly. So we hope that we have given you some ammo for dealing with the people pleasing and boundaries just from hearing the stuff that we, we’ve gone through recently and by sharing it and that you don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to make everyone happy. In fact, it is much better if you don’t have that goal because it’s not under your control as I have learned. Very hard, but

Brie Tucker: one star reviews, people. That’s what we’re telling you. Embrace them.

JoAnn Crohn: it. I tell you like a lot of the criticism you’re going to get by not trying to make people happy, that criticism is going to come at you and you’re going to be like, Hmm, no, you proved my point. You’re good. Yeah.

Brie Tucker: check I’m gonna do that again.

JoAnn Crohn: Yes, exactly. So remember the best mom is a happy mom. Take care of you. I’ll talk to you later.

Brie Tucker: Thanks for stopping by. 

Brie Tucker

COO/ Podcast Producer at No Guilt Mom
Brie Tucker has over 20 years of experience coaching parents with a background in early childhood and special needs. She holds a B.S. in Psychology from the University of Central Missouri and is certified in Positive Discipline as well as a Happiest Baby Educator.

She’s a divorced mom to two teenagers.

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