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Double Standards in Parenting: How Farideh’s Music Has Us Laughing and Crying at the Same Time Transcript

Please note: Transcripts for the No Guilt Mom Podcast were created using AI. As a result, there may be some minor errors.

Farideh Olsen: as a female musician, you’re told not to write about mother.

JoAnn Crohn: Really?! Like, why? What’s the story behind that? 

Farideh Olsen: because it’s like extremely uncool 

JoAnn Crohn: Oh, It doesn’t go with the vibe! 

Farideh Olsen: yeah. a man can get away with kind of saying that he’s a dad, but a woman cannot. if you think about it, what songs about motherhood, you know,

JoAnn Crohn: Welcome to the No Guilt Mom Podcast. I’m your host, JoAnn Crohn, joined here by the lovely Brie Tucker. 

Brie Tucker: Why, hello, hello everybody. How are you?

JoAnn Crohn: have such a good one for you today, but you may not recognize her name, but I guarantee you’re going to recognize this. I love that song. It speaks to me. like her little gremlin voice, like it’s my first really, really baby notice Farideh and she is such an amazing person. And we really dig into how she started singing about motherhood, especially funny songs about motherhood. She’s a musician and comedian best known for her comedic. songs about motherhood and the mental load. She’s recently become quite the internet sensation with her viral song. You’re such a good dad. And has been featured on the today show. Farideh uses her music to help moms feel seen and she resides in Canada with her family. So we hope you enjoy our interview with Farideh.  Welcome Farideh to our podcast. We are so excited to have you here

Farideh Olsen: Oh, I’m so happy to be here. Let’s chat. I

JoAnn Crohn: I am really curious about your story because you have these great videos the make a list video oh my gosh, so great and the voice you do that like I just got me it got me all the places as well as Just your singing ability and your music style and the ability.

I’ve always seen it as a magic act when people can make up a song and play it and then sing along to it, like magic always. So it’s magic, So it really fascinates me. So let’s start out. You live in Canada.

Farideh Olsen: live in Saskatchewan, Canada, which if people know where Vancouver and Toronto is, it’s like in the middle. So it’s like truly in the middle of nowhere. I

JoAnn Crohn: Is it? I’ve never really don’t know much about Saskatchewan.

Farideh Olsen: Montana and North Dakota and we have like similar, if you know what Montana and South and North Dakota are like, that’s kind of like what it’s like

Brie Tucker: Okay.

JoAnn Crohn: And have you lived there your whole life?

Farideh Olsen: Yeah, pretty much. I traveled. I’d never thought I’d live here, but my mom lives here and when you have children, for me, I have a really supportive parent. So I was like, we’re never leaving my mother because. We need child care.

JoAnn Crohn: that’s a smart thing to do. Yes. I, I really, I’m, I don’t think me leaving my parents was the best idea on

Farideh Olsen: Fair enough, fair enough. Sometimes 

JoAnn Crohn: though they’re like an hour and a half away. 

Farideh Olsen: no choice, 

JoAnn Crohn: So how did you get started in music?

Farideh Olsen: Well, so my dad was a musician. So I grew up,like coming out the womb being like, I’m a singer. I’m going to be a superstar. So I like pursued music my whole life. My dad,took me on the road as a kid, like, just like a very much like a local kind of group. And, so I started making albums and writing songs from a pretty young age.

And I had achieved a pretty like good, like, not like, I’m not Drake of Canada. We, I had a group that was part of an all girl group called Rosie and the Riveters and, it was, like about nine years we were in that, I was, did that band. I didn’t like soul stuff. And then I started that band and then, we did pretty well.

Like we traveled the world. you know, we made it on US folk charts,it’s hard to be an independent musician. Like we were self managed, self taught. So that level of success is pretty good. but I was a mom and I, I became a mom while I was in the band and actually It was, it’s interesting, like I always thought, I kept thinking I’m going to give up music when I’m 23, I’m going to give up music when I’m 27, I’m going to give up music when I have a kid, it’s like the older I got and after becoming a mom is like when more of my career took off.

And so I couldn’t leave. I just felt like I wasn’t ready to leave My music career just because I was a mom because sometimes that’s kind of I’m not sure what it’s like in other careers, but it’s like your life is I definitely feel it like there’s ideas like that your life is over once you become a mom and

JoAnn Crohn: that in other careers, too. Mm hmm.

Farideh Olsen: Yeah But I was like I am unwilling so then I like took an infant on the road with me Which you can imagine is a horrible idea 

JoAnn Crohn: would be hard.

Farideh Olsen: Yeah, just like what’s horrible, like those first years are hard and then let’s put yourself like on the road with no support 

and so I did that and then You know as she got a little older I didn’t take her on the road because she was a little too old and then I kind of realized like hey I’m approaching 40.

I’m on the road a hundred days a year. I’m like That’s like a fourth of my kid’s life. I just can’t do this. Like I just couldn’t see a life for myself as a musician. As I was just, it was too hard. It was too hard. And it was hard. I was like, I’d pay any price, but not this, not this high. It’s like the cost is too high.

it’s like having two dreams in one. Like you have, I have a dream of a career and I have a dream of being a mom, but like, the other one is like, I’m a mom, and this is the bigger dream of the two, so I walked away, thinking, like, that my music career is over, I do not know what I’m gonna do, this is just at, the height of my abilities, I’m like, having to be like Sia, do you know what I mean, like, Sia, like, she didn’t make it until she covered her face, because she was 32, do you know what I mean, like, 

Brie Tucker: fact. That’s interesting.

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah. That’s

Farideh Olsen: take that patriarchy, you 

Brie Tucker: I know but 

JoAnn Crohn: yeah. 

Farideh Olsen: And there was just, no future for me, and right at the time I decided to, leave this group that I had, dedicated, almost 10 years of my life to, pandemic happened, so I was, like, staying at home parent, what, uh, you know, like, actually, truly my greatest fear, I was always afraid of becoming a stay at home parent because I knew, psychologically, it’s so 

Brie Tucker: It 

JoAnn Crohn: During the pandemic,were your bandmates then who you just left, but were they, thrust into the staying at home role as well? Or

Farideh Olsen: they didn’t have children. So they were just, they were still thrust into like their own fear and their own stuff. But like, when you break up with a band, you’ve just destroyed their dreams too. Like it’s, you know what I mean? Like, they’re like, Oh, okay.

I think they understood. But you know, it was a really challenging time. And then of course they were dealing with their own stuff. But yeah, so then the only thing I wanted to do. It was great content. I was like, this seems like fun. and then you know what? It’s surprising how long it took me to decide to write funny songs for the internet. Like it took me two years and then like once I did it, I was like, oh, that’s so obvious. I 

JoAnn Crohn: what were you creating before you decided to write funny 

Farideh Olsen: I was trying to like, I knew that I had a talent to entertain. Like I mean, that’s like my life is like performing is for making people laugh, maybe making people cry. I was like, maybe I will do that online. Maybe that’s how I can do this. Like maybe, cause I still have that skill. And so let’s try that. And it was like going okay, but not great. Like I told stories, I made funny content, like the funny content did better. And then after like two years of creating content, I was like, okay, well.

It’s not going great. Like maybe I’m just not that good. And, funny content’s doing well. Like maybe I need to learn about comedy. that’s what I did with music. I learned about music. So like, let’s go take some classes. So I like learned a lot more about comedy. And then I realized in the classes that like people who do well at comedy, they bring everything that they can do.

If they’re good actors, they do acting. If they’re, you know, like they bring, they don’t leave parts of themselves at the door. And because I had been like, so done with music, I like really left it at the door. And so like then, and as a female musician, you’re told not to write about mother.

JoAnn Crohn: Really?! Like, why? What’s the story behind that? 

Farideh Olsen: because it’s like extremely uncool 

JoAnn Crohn: Oh, God! It doesn’t go with the vibe! 

Farideh Olsen: yeah. a man can get away with kind of saying that he’s a dad, but a woman cannot. if you think about it, what songs about motherhood, you know,

JoAnn Crohn: I I don’t, but I can automatically pick up Andy Grammer’s song he wrote about fatherhood.

Brie Tucker: a good dad. I have that one on motherhood.

Farideh Olsen: Yeah, 

JoAnn Crohn: Nyeh heh heh heh 

Farideh Olsen: Well, in my class, they were like, we want you to write Motherhood. And I was like, uh, no, no, no, no, no, I’m not doing the cardinal role of song, like of writing. You don’t do that. And so once I did do it, I was like, oh my goodness, I have so much to say. here’s eight years, seven years of my life that I have completely not reviewed, not mind for the gems.

that’s what musicians do. They mine their experiences to reflect. To other people and so once I started doing it. I was like, oh, it’s very obvious I should have been like writing about motherhood. I should have been like Combining comedy with music.

And, and then it’s once I, like I wrote, you are such a good dad. I did not think it was very good. I shared it online. It went off and I was like, okay, so we need to like just write more songs. We just need to keep writing more songs. So the thing about my songs is that they’re not all about my own life.

I don’t, I feel like. So it’s not just about me, it’s about everybody’s experience. So I like ask my Instagram followers like what I should write about and what’s annoying them and I often like will be like stuck on a song and I’ll ask my followers you know what’s the most annoying part about laundry to you and then I’ll like it’ll it’ll change how I write the song because as a musician who was, like, more, not in the comedy frame, I wrote about my personal experiences, but, like, now I’m here to serve, right? I think mothers are just, we’re we’re not represented in music, we’re not represented in movies, we’re not, in books, so all I want to do is represent the lives of people who are, like, invisible, there’s a reason why the labor is invisible, mothers in general are invisible. And,it’s not, I don’t, like Some of it’s mine, and but some of it I was also like, about my friends or their lives.

Brie Tucker: Yeah, you’re getting the collective. of motherhood and womanhood together there.

Farideh Olsen: Exactly. 

JoAnn Crohn: I’m interested in hearing the story behind You’re Such a Good Dad and, we’ll get into it right after this. you said your first really foray into this singing about motherhood and making it comedic was you’re such a good dad. how did that song come into being?

Farideh Olsen: You know, people, in my comedy class, they’re like, what’s the hardest part about being a mom? And I was like, the hardest part about being a mom is watching everybody praise your husband for pushing a stroller. And it’s not like he’s like, he’s like, he is pushing a stroller. He’s not like saving the life of a human 

Brie Tucker: not doing brain surgery. No, no.

Farideh Olsen: it’s really the bare minimum, and yet strangers are attacking 

Brie Tucker: dad. Here’s the expectations for mom. Do you see a difference?

JoAnn Crohn: yeah, it’s really funny. Like my husband always says that too about doing the bare minimum and he actually comes to me like jokingly for praise. He’s like, honey, I did the bare minimum. Thank me.

Brie Tucker: I could see him with that face too.

JoAnn Crohn: Yes. 

Farideh Olsen: And my husband understood it too. He would be like, people just, he’s like, I am a God now. He’s just like a baby and he like strapped it to his stomach and he went for a walk in our community. Like he was just like, people 

JoAnn Crohn: People love me.

Farideh Olsen: He’s talking to me. I mean, in some ways it’s a beautiful thing because a man without a child is also considered a predator, right?

Like I’d be like, look at this beautiful baby. He’s like, I can’t look at a baby. What are you talking about? but now he has like a wedding ring and now he has a child. He can go to parks and he can go to I, and so I can understand like that’s beautiful and stuff like that. But yeah, so that’s where that idea. I wanted to like paint the picture of all the things a mother does in the day and then the very bare minimum a man does and then his praise for it.

Brie Tucker: And I just have to say, I love the part too about like, and then your mother came over and she was like, you’re such a good dad. how many of us have wanted to strangle our mother in law when our, spouse did the bare minimum? And they’re like, oh god, you’re so fantastic. And you’re like, really? Now I know where the standards came from. Now I know.

JoAnn Crohn: oh my gosh, no, I get this from my own mom, actually. My own mom comes and prays, my husband, and she’s like, oh my gosh, you have such a supportive husband. And I know it’s a personal thing, I totally know, but I’m like, this is what’s supposed to happen. it ties back to those things where, um, when you say like your husband is supportive, or your husband does chores around the house, or your husband actually like. Yeah. Does stuff with the kids like he’s not just the babysitter you get the reaction Oh, like you’re so lucky

Farideh Olsen: and it’s supposed to be a luck thing rather than this is expected of men Like we

JoAnn Crohn: need to expect this a 

Farideh Olsen: that’s right. Exactly.

JoAnn Crohn: So it becomes hard. So you had, you’re such a good dad, and it blew up. And what did you see from that?

Farideh Olsen: well, I just like I slowly saw my like accounts grow and not that it like really took off in that moment Like it did it slowly grew over time What I realized was like I had been looking for the clarity of what am I doing? What’s my next path? What was I doing? And then it was like so obvious. I was like, oh I see this is what I do now And also as a comedian you can age in a way that like musicians aren’t allowed to 

JoAnn Crohn: Unless they’re men.

Brie Tucker: Unless you’re a man, then you’re allowed to do anything you want and get as old as you want and you can say whatever you want and it’s all good.

Farideh Olsen: nobody’s upset. Like Chris Stapleton with his like huge beard, made it when he was like in his forties, like nobody, it’s fine. nobody was like, Oh dear, way past prime, you know? So I was just like, this is an audience I can serve. This is a story I can tell. And also like, I know how to write songs.

Okay. That’s what I’ve been doing my whole life. I can do that again, and it requires like a certain kind of humility to be like, I’m going to serve others with my songs, like it’s not about serving myself and my story. So once I had that clarity, I just knew the path to take, like no, no business is, no, no career is made like in one video.

well, it certainly made a difference. Mostly it provide clarity for me. About like, this is my child. And then so, I, you know, and one song doesn’t make a body of work. You, then I had to spend like the next year writing as many songs as I could to, make an album to make like a continued narrative about motherhood and what it’s like.

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah, and so you had your album come out, right? 

Farideh Olsen: Yeah. 

JoAnn Crohn: out or It’s coming out? It’s come out. 

Farideh Olsen: called

JoAnn Crohn: Came out in October. And tell us about it.

Farideh Olsen: The Motherload, and it just explores all these things that we have about motherhood, whether it’s like parenting, body image, like marital stuff, like the division of labor, kind of just like, I just want to like, once I put it all together, I was like, oh, this is like a narrative, like a cohesive story about what it’s like parenting.

Right now a snapshot. And like it’s done quite well. I wasn’t sure I put together an album like that’s very much like a musician thing to do, not necessarily like an internet creator thing to do. But once I did it, I was like, Oh, this was a wise choice just because, Yeah, people can listen to a whole album, and then, and it explores different genres, I tried, more disco music, and pop music, and rap, and folk, and just like, I experimented a lot more than I, as a musician, you’re, one of the other things that you need to keep to is a cohesive genre, you generally, generally you just don’t see somebody moving around a lot, because, you Packaging wise, you need to stay in, but of course the, the, the packaging wise, it was motherhood, so I didn’t have to stay in a lane, so I was really fine just to be like, all right, let’s see what, we’ll see what discotheque’s going to be like, you know?

Brie Tucker: And is that,

JoAnn Crohn: That’s fun. 

Brie Tucker: That was that one of your favorites or no?

Farideh Olsen: Oh, I think they, honestly, they were all my favorite. I just, 

JoAnn Crohn: they’re they’re all your children. 

Brie Tucker: Come on. We all have a 

Farideh Olsen: Okay. 

JoAnn Crohn: no,

Brie Tucker: Oh, is that just me? Or just me? I’m joking. I’m joking to my children that probably will listen to this at some point in their lives. Not now because they’re teens and they’re too cool, but 

JoAnn Crohn: that’s true. It’s true. make a list. No, you say you, you take stuff collectively. Was this based on collective stuff or was this personal

Farideh Olsen: Oh, no, this was a collective one. Like my, I’m blessed to have a partner who like going into motherhood and even going into the marriage. I saw the patterns out in the world. And I was 

like, if we get married, you are not abandoning me. I see people whose husbands are golfing on the weekends who are playing video games at night who are like dropping

Brie Tucker: a, I was a weekend widow. mine would spend eight hours watching football at a bar.

JoAnn Crohn: Oh my gosh. 

Farideh Olsen: Yeah. So like 

JoAnn Crohn: X.

Farideh Olsen: conversations, not saying that, like, when we had a child, of course, he had no idea how little he was doing. and, and, and that’s, that’s the challenges of like, you know, sometimes people comment on my videos, like you should leave him, divorce him.

And I’m like, well, firstly, that’s not yeah. I would not be ever write these songs in the, in the heat of that, Like in the heat of having a new child, like you have, you can’t write that kind of song until you’re out of it until your marriage has evolved and changed. And sadly, you’re like having a baby, your world is on fire.

Your marriage is kind of falling apart. I don’t, I don’t know many people who’s like that first year that they’re not like, are we going to make? and then you have to go on a journey together to build understanding and not just like his understanding mine to like at the end of the day, what did you do?

I was like nothing, but it’s I actually cleaned the house three times and it still looks like a bomb went off and I kept it alive and I couldn’t sleep and and that work was also invisible to me. So like having the ability to have language to talk about what’s going on, how to build understanding that takes time.

 So I think it was just like, so with make a list, like my husband is not the kind of person who, who he would understand that labor like that, that, that wouldn’t make sense. but that is also just like, I wanted to talk about how. That is really common. And it’s also like very classic marital advice that people receive with the division of labor.

I was, I wanted to paint a picture as to like, number one, how, I was trying to figure out how do you talk about how like, out of date that idea is. yeah, then just like the little gremlin inside of me was like, I also want to, like a lot of times I feel like you’re representing feminine rage, 

Brie Tucker: That is what it was! I was like, that rage, I think that so many of us, we feel it when it’s happening. We, Joya and I have been talking a lot about being stressed out and frustrated lately. And like you, you can feel all the feelings and it’s like, Stop asking me how to help! You’re making it worse!

JoAnn Crohn: Well, it’s like this outdated notion, too, of the honey do list. And I, I know a lot of older men I used to run with one who was like, yeah, it’s my honey do list. for the weekend and I’m like, tell me about this. What is this list that you have? it’s, it’s crazy. It’s outdated. It keeps the mental load squarely with us about thinking like what they have to do, but it’s such a comedic way you deal with 

Farideh Olsen: yeah, I mean, It’s just like, it also, like, my gift as a songwriter is to be able to, put language to feelings that we have. That’s, and so it’s the same, it’s the same thing here now versus, a Happy Love song. It’s like, as before, if I was, like, a new mom, I would feel angry, but I didn’t know why.

Why does that feel like that isn’t actually helping me? your first thought is like, that should help me, but you’re like, no, that mental load stays on my thing. I’m still responsible. And it also creates situation in which I’m your boss and I’m checking up on you. That’s not a great dynamic for our marriage because personally, my husband’s a very like rebellious man who is like, I do my own thing. That’s not going to go well in our marriage for me to be like, did you do this? He’ll be like,

JoAnn Crohn: yeah, no, I have the same like my husband is very like he’s a rebel as well And I am a rebel and when you put two rebels together, you really have to figure out How are you gonna talk to each other when you need stuff done, but you don’t want to tell them what to do.

Farideh Olsen: That’s exactly it like he does not want to be told what to do and I’m not interested in telling him what to do but obviously we still need to figure this out so, yeah, that’s where make a list came from and It’s a such a fun thing to perform because like, it’s just not a voice You would use as a singer songwriter and then be like what can I do or I have a metal song where I scream? about my rage and Um, like that one also, which is like an interesting thing to vocally do. I’ve never, I’ve been a songwriter, a musician for 20 years. I’ve never been like, okay, Googling like screamo vocals, like how to do right. And it’s 

JoAnn Crohn: It’s so fun though and what a like a great way to like take those emotions and make it in a way that people can have fun and enjoy it. Like I said I think it’s a magic power like you have a magic superpower that you can set your feelings to music and it’s enjoyable to hear because if I try to set my feelings to music it would not work.

Farideh Olsen: one thing that like makes me very happy is that because Because I’m not in this place in my marriage and because it’s has this funny place to it, like behind it is not resentment, right? Like I don’t, I don’t carry a lot of resentment. I think people can feel the lightness to the work I do. And then they send it to their partner or they take it to I have a lot of therapists who were like, your song was in my therapy session today.

I wanted you to know that because actually it’s, it can lead to conversations that can’t, when you’re in that throes with your partner and you’re trying to get them to understand and like, They’re just not hearing you, it is like helpful to have this like other person being like hey Here’s a piece of content. That’s like just poking fun being like it can provide like another perspective and illuminate things without the conflict and 

Brie Tucker: just you. Like, this is such a big problem that people write songs about it. Here you go.

Farideh Olsen: it is not just our marriage and it’s not just your fault. It’s like exactly it’s like this is a societal pattern that we’re all part of and how do we How it is our job to disentangle this so that we are better role models for our children the truth is it’s like marriages don’t survive misogyny Like that or they do but like barely right and that’s what we’re trying to that’s what we’re trying to untangle and

JoAnn Crohn: Yes. Exactly. I couldn’t agree more. what are you excited about that’s coming up for you, Farideh?

Farideh Olsen: Oh, well, I’m starting to do live performances with the show like in person and like that is so fun because gathering a bunch of women together, a bunch of moms together to have a room where we all get to be together and have that like experience is so fun. And, so that’s really enjoyable.

that’s basically like what I’m working on right now is just obviously I still need to make content and videos, but I really want to do more live shows Because there’s also like certain things you can’t, there’s with content online, there’s certain things you can’t do. Like you can’t always do like a slower song or a slow burn song because like it’s such a quick place where you need to hit them in 30 seconds.

You can’t build to a joke. and so there’s new songs I can try that I, like they haven’t found their place online, but they can in the live. setting. and also like in a live show, I don’t have to, like, one of the things about me is that I’m not a comedian. I’m not a comedian first. I’m like a, I’m still a musician first.

And so I think that like comedy, it sets up pain and then it relieves it really quickly. Whereas a musician will set up pain and let you sit in that pain. Because it’s healing. It’s healing to, feel the feelings. And so in my, in my content online, I do sometimes try and sprinkle in a part of myself that isn’t just laughter.

Because I think if any audience can travel with me from laughter into, tenderness into grief, in back into laughter again, into rage, you know, like it’s a mother, right? Because that is, that is motherhood, right? Like we have that kind of experience. And so that’s the live show too, is that I want a mom to come to my show and just be like, every part of her was seen.

Not just like the funny parts, not just the rage, but also the intense love, the grief that we all feel, the pain. So that they just, they just walk away feeling like whole, like every part of them was seen and that’s, that’s bringing me joy. And also a lot of stress dreams, honestly. I,

JoAnn Crohn: would imagine oh

Farideh Olsen: these dreams where I like just show up with nothing prepared and I’m just like, oh god.

JoAnn Crohn: I have stress dreams like that, too My stress dream is always like I’ve signed up for a class in college and then it’s the finals But I forgot to go to class the entire semester

Brie Tucker: too! I do too!

JoAnn Crohn: When I’m 

Brie Tucker: It’s a thing that multiple people have, I did not know that. Okay, so I’m gonna put in a request on your, on your uh, locations, whatever, however you plan your live events of Phoenix, coming out to Phoenix. We are much warmer than your temp than your, your climate, like. 

Farideh Olsen: It’s gonna be a good time to come, for sure.

JoAnn Crohn: right now. Right now is a good time to come. Come in like June. Stay away. Stay away June to 

Brie Tucker: April’s wonderful. Yes, any time from like now through April is fantastic. yeah, yeah, I’ll tell you our high today is 60. So that’s, that’s pretty nice.

Farideh Olsen: Beautiful.

JoAnn Crohn: It’s beautiful. It’s gorgeous. Well, thank you so much for spending this time with us, Farideh. And like, I, and you bring such a smile to my face. And now I need to go and listen to your entire album. 

Farideh Olsen: Please do. Thank you.

JoAnn Crohn: You know, the thing that Farideh said about songs being a way to talk about challenging issues is really true. a way to bring up something that you know you’re not alone anymore in it because somebody wrote a song about it.

Brie Tucker: Yeah! Like, I love that part of, like, you’re, thinking about that, you’re in couples therapy, or you’re having a disagreement, and your spouse feels like you’re telling them that they are a terrible person, and you’re like, listen. There are things that I need, but you’re not alone in the world. It’s so much so that there are a million people listening to this song Instagram right now. There’s a whole album of the stress that we deal with. I feel like as women, sometimes we get gaslit 

JoAnn Crohn: All the times we get gags lit. All the time.

Brie Tucker: to be gentle to their fragile feelings, but you know, I mean.

JoAnn Crohn: gentle. Men. Man up. You don’t have, I don’t know. I’m kidding. I’m kidding. See? Therapist means being 

Brie Tucker: see, there you go. But I mean, it’s like, we get told that we’re being overly sensitive or that, it’s not as bad as we think it is. And it’s like, No, it is. People write songs about it. It is. It’s a collective

JoAnn Crohn: fact that like, most of the time when I leave my, my husband alone with the kids for any significant amount of time, he is stressed out like beyond belief when I have returned. And it’s not anything to do with oh, men just get so stressed out. No, that is the actual feeling that we as women have dealt with every single day and we’ve just kind of learned to stuff it down, stuff it down, don’t feel the feelings and just go on with

Brie Tucker: where we’re allowed to feel the feelings, but in private where nobody else has to see us cry.

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah. it’s like crying emotional. Yes. But so is anger and men get angry all the time. I was in a field, I was at the entertainment, field at the agency that I worked at Endeavor. And it would be a frequent thing to hear like a male agent screaming from his office at his assistant. And all these curse words being flung around and he was never called emotional, even though that’s what he was. He was emotional, and that’s accepted, and yet it’s not accepted for women to cry. Still, 20 years later.

Brie Tucker: It’s just, it’s, it’s a struggle. I love that there is a Humorous, fun, whimsical, musical soundtrack to our experiences as a typical mom or a typical spouse, as a typical woman in a family these days, whatever your family looks like, because there are a lot of struggles that we don’t talk about.

She brought up a really good point in her interview. She’s like, how many songs can you think of that talk about what it’s like to be a mother? And I’m like, no, you’re right. No, not really any.

JoAnn Crohn: There’s not, there’s one Rachel Platten song that I think would be really good as a mother, but I don’t know if that’s what she wrote it for. It was I’ll Stand By You. no, that’s Pretenders.

Brie Tucker: So are you thinking about the Pretender song or is it a different

JoAnn Crohn: I think I’m thinking of, I think, no, it is song, I’ll stand by you. But the lyrics I’m thinking of are the Pretender 

Brie Tucker: Okay. Yeah. Yeah. 

JoAnn Crohn: Like, that’s probably not about, it could be

Brie Tucker: But you know, I didn’t see that as kids. Like I remember my, my, I don’t know what I’m going to say eighth grade self, but I think I was probably in high school. Like when that song came out, I remember thinking to myself, that’s a perfect boyfriend. So I’m not sure. I’m not sure.

JoAnn Crohn: we’ll let nobody hurt you. Oh yeah, that’s not like, but that’s a woman. It was Chrissy Hines singing it.

Brie Tucker: Yeah. Yeah. So I’m just saying that’s a perfect song. Like it’s singing about a perfect partner. To 

JoAnn Crohn: see, oh, that’s

Brie Tucker: That was me. But I had a romantic, mindset. We know this. Brie thought that, the Breakfast Club was gonna be a thing in life.

JoAnn Crohn: yeah.

Brie Tucker: I believe John Hughes. Damn it.

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah, there isn’t really anything though about being a mother and like it’s not acceptable cuz like the Andy Grammer song I was thinking of it was like one of his songs is you know You were born and there was glory or whatever And it’s such a sweet song, but there is nothing about a woman having a baby song. I can’t think of a single

Brie Tucker: Yeah. Yeah, I think it’s just because, again, it, there’s, there’s so much to it. I, what I love about Farideh’s music is, again, that she brings The stuff that we don’t talk about as much that like we chat about with our girlfriends, you know, but we don’t talk about an open society as much about the frustrations, especially about the double standard of like where dad’s bar is down here at the bottom of my screen and mom’s bar is above my head. And if I don’t hit that, then. I’m a crappy mom, but if you just slightly lift your toe to move over this far, you’re a fantastic dad and done a million things. That’s great. 

JoAnn Crohn: Well, I think that’s the same for like women and men too because the Barbie movie The Barbie movie and that made so many people upset because it hit on a truth that this is how our society really is. And no women watching that movie were surprised about the way Barbie was treated in the real world. that’s pretty standard. Contrasting that with the way Barbie land was with everyone being so supportive of each other and not having to worry about being, sexually hit on or anything like that. It was, Total sadness when Barbie went from that world to the real world. And so those kinds of things their way, they weigh heavy. They need to be brought out and talked about

Brie Tucker: Yeah. For sure. It’s, it’s tough. So. Well, that was fantastic. So go, yeah, go out. You need to like go on, check out, Farideh’s album. It is the Motherload. It is fantastic. Check her out on Instagram. We have links to everything below. Give her some love. 

JoAnn Crohn: until, next time, remember the best mom’s a happy mom. Take care of you. We’ll talk to you later.Brie Tucker: Thanks for stopping by.

Brie Tucker

COO/ Podcast Producer at No Guilt Mom
Brie Tucker has over 20 years of experience coaching parents with a background in early childhood and special needs. She holds a B.S. in Psychology from the University of Central Missouri and is certified in Positive Discipline as well as a Happiest Baby Educator.

She’s a divorced mom to two teenagers.

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