I am what I like to call a “baby Christian.” What does this mean exactly? I have in the last year grown in my faith in God and have accepted Jesus Christ as my savior. That is the correct church response, isn’t it? Since having my third child, Kinley, I have felt a profound change in myself that can only be described as divine intervention. I feel more at peace with myself, the world, and feel a calm contentment that was lacking before. I feel happy when I pray and when I attend church, small groups and gather with like-minded women at church. I feel I have been in a dark season of my life leading up to my walk with God, even in the light of having three beautiful blessings. This being said, even though I feel more complete with God in my life, I feel like an alien with my friends and family. I am on this walk alone and am discovering that some relationships I currently have are naturally, or through the work of God, no longer essential. In what can only be described as a transition period, I find my heart is heavy and reclusive. The relationships I had with friends no longer exist, but the new friendships God is having me work towards are not fully developed. This leaves me in a very lonely and isolated place. This may seem like a diary entry, and in many ways it is but I feel compelled to share my story in the wake up my upcoming baptism. I feel I am ready to wash away my old life and truly meaningless worries and work on my relationship with God with the fellowship of like-minded women. I feel there is a misnomer that just because I believe in God and that he will answer my prayer for “real” friends that this transition shouldn’t hurt. It does. I am scared of the effects on my marriage and relationships I have but know God will show me the right thing to do. While I mourn the loss of old friendships, I am excited for the future and what God has in store for me. I have faith that things will work out and my feeling of loss will soon be over. Please pray for me and God’s guidance through this new chapter in my life. If you have any prayer requests, please feel free to leave a comment or e-mail and we will pray for you.
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