Podcast Episode 273: 10 Things Women Get Told In Public That Don’t Need to be Said… Ever Transcripts

Please note: Transcripts for the No Guilt Mom Podcast were created using AI. As a result, there may be some minor errors.

JoAnn Crohn: this isn’t like a gender thing. This is just the reality of a situation in raising kids. Like it is. Mentally and emotionally exhausting raising kids. Regardless if you’re a guy or a girl.

Welcome to the No Guilt Mom podcast. I’m your host, JoAnn Crohn, joined here by the lovely Brie Tucker.

Brie Tucker: hello, hello everybody, how are you?

JoAnn Crohn: Brie, my dog didn’t like that intro. She started going, she’s like, now you’re going into your podcast voice, mom. And that’s not okay. That means you’re not available to take me outside or give me dog cookies

Brie Tucker: doesn’t care. He’s laying against the door staring. Oh, now he got up and walked over. He’s all like, well, if you’re going to talk about me, then I’m just

JoAnn Crohn: Well, if you’re going to talk about me, yeah, actually what we’re going to talk about today are the frustrating things that women get told in public, because, Oh my goodness, do we have a list? Like there are so many things you just get asked that questions that men don’t get asked, but women get asked all the time.

And it seems to be. Okay, that they’re asked those questions. So we’re live again in our no guilt mom podcast group on Facebook. So if you’re not a part of it and you want to be a part of the episode, go on over, we have a link for you right in the show notes, but I’m super excited for you to get started with this episode.

So let’s get on with the show. So as we’re doing this episode, it’s funny. Cause Brie and I are like writing more things in the document. Like Brie is just still typing frustrating things that women get told. So, I mean, I think by the end of this episode, we’re probably going to have a good top 10 list for you all. Like Brie’s on number eight right now and she’s adding it as we speak.

Brie Tucker: I’m trying to figure out how to say this last one as I’m like trying to figure out how to type it.

JoAnn Crohn: I have another one to add as well. So, uh, the reason that we’re doing this, I saw a, a news article this morning about a woman complaining about frustrating things that are told to her as a mom in the grocery store. And that just got me thinking about like all the things that we’re told as women, that we kind of have to smile, that we have to endure, that some of us really have canned responses for, because they make us so damn uncomfortable and sometimes they’re just inappropriate. Yeah. And no man gets told this at all,

Brie Tucker: Yeah, yeah, no, they’re all things that are very gender specific, and sometimes they’re such a backhanded compliment. Not a compliment, like, the person thinks it’s a compliment sometimes, or it’s an okay thing to say, but just the fact that it’s only said to women makes it all the more enraging.

JoAnn Crohn: or a lot of them as this unsolicited advice given to women, they’re like, Oh, you would only be better. Like you would be perfect. And it’s like those things that really, as Brie was saying before we started recording, butter, your biscuits,

Brie Tucker: they butter your biscuits, grind your gears, whatever you want to call it. Like, yeah, I like butter your biscuits. Sugar’s your donut. No,

JoAnn Crohn: sugar,

Brie Tucker: sounds, sounds sweet.

JoAnn Crohn: it does sound too sweet. It sounds a little sweet for sure.

Brie Tucker: My, my, my pre snack hits, I found some really yummy gluten free doughnuts that I get

JoAnn Crohn: Oh my gosh, do you see how my my demeanor just changed? I’m like what there’s donuts

Brie Tucker: Yes!

JoAnn Crohn: I just saw you like less than half an hour ago in person and you didn’t have donuts

Brie Tucker: not have doughnuts then, but I have doughnuts now because we’re doing back to back episodes and I’m gonna need something, so yeah. Uh, but I had to explain where, where that came from, because I feel like saying, like, sugar’s your doughnuts is kind of a weird statement. Meanwhile,

JoAnn Crohn: meanwhile, meanwhile, I’m like, I’m buttoning up my very low cut jumpsuit that keeps falling down and I feel like really shows more than I would like to be showing. It’s like a little loose on top. I need to, I need to fix that. That’s uh, if anyone told me though, I should pull up my jumpsuit. Oh, we’d have words. If it was one of the frustrating things women are told, you shouldn’t show so much

Brie Tucker: Oh, that’s another! You told me to add that one! Like, I just saw a TikTok today about this woman in Utah that got in trouble because she didn’t like a skirt that some other girl was wearing at a restaurant walked up to her and pulled down her mini skirt. Did you,

JoAnn Crohn: Oh my gosh. No. Oh

Brie Tucker: and then she told the girl that she was gonna call CPS if she had to see her buttocks again. And, and the girl, like, the teen, like, she was like, they said, like, 19 or something. they were like, her skirt was not the same. That short that you could see her butt for starters. And how dare somebody like go in and tell her like, no, no. I have a huge issue with that. And you know that because like, even yeah. Yeah. Well, you, yeah, you do too, because it’s just like, no, no.

JoAnn Crohn: Do not body shame girls. Stop body shaming girls. General

Brie Tucker: Yeah, and the other

JoAnn Crohn: all of you probably listening right now. Probably agree with me and are like, yes, stop body shaming

Brie Tucker: and the other girls that were with her were like, just don’t look at her then, ma’am, if it’s bothering you so much. So anyways, that, that’s a big thing. You can look it up on TikTok. I think it’s called like, Karen of Utah or something like that. That’s trending right now. But the interesting part is, is that men don’t, oh sorry. Yeah. Men don’t get

JoAnn Crohn: man. Don’t get

Brie Tucker: that. Men don’t get told like your, your shorts are too short. You’re showing too much skin. That is never

JoAnn Crohn: Sometimes it’s like. Pull your pants up. You can see your underwear. I guess Like old women go after guys for that, but that’s it. Like I mean, that’s it.

Brie Tucker: or, or even just the, you shouldn’t be wearing. Cause that was another one too. That was on Tik TOK a little while ago where this girl told people like, if you’re over a certain age or if you weigh a certain amount, you should not be wearing crop tops. Okay. Public service announcement. Okay.

JoAnn Crohn: We have so much to go into today

Brie Tucker: yes, yes, so that’s, yeah, I don’t know when you want me to stop talking

JoAnn Crohn: There’s a lot. You got it. You got it. Okay. So let’s start on this list. Cause, the first thing comes from Briony who commented on our Facebook page. And this is one I actually saw repeated a lot, but number one, you should smile more. Why are

Brie Tucker: uh, or the, uh, the rude comment that comes along with that is, You have rusting,

JoAnn Crohn: resting bitch face. Yes. I think bit Like,

Brie Tucker: there you go. I was trying to

JoAnn Crohn: derated, but it’s like a female dog. It’s an actual term, but so it is

Brie Tucker: True, true,

JoAnn Crohn: to my dog on the couch right now as one, and it would be technically right.

Brie Tucker: I feel like that is, like, somebody trying to say that statement in what they think is a nicer way. You should smile more often. In other words, you look bitchy right now while you’re not, like, smiling. And I’m making, like, a pissed off face right now for people that are

JoAnn Crohn: And it’s ridiculous. This idea that women have to be nice and pleasing all the time and their only job is to make other people comfortable. And God forbid, if somebody is like uncomfortable by a woman’s emotions, this is the woman’s fault and she needs to go have her emotions in private.

Brie Tucker: Elsewhere, elsewhere. She needs to not be so. Oh, that’s another one. Oh, let me, let me add that one to the list too. Hold

JoAnn Crohn: Let’s focus. Let’s focus. But like It’s hard. It’s so hard, especially when you’re having a bad day and you have to like paste a smile on your face. And I feel like all of these advice to women of, Oh, you know, just, just smile and your whole mood will change along with that smile and Brie’s here, batting her eyes right now.

But yeah, it’s so hard. It’s infuriating. And I know that a lot of the moms that we talked to, especially the ones who came to our retreat and in balance, we have this discussion all the time about how you are allowed to be angry. You are allowed to be sad. You were allowed a whole range of human emotions.

And your only job is not to make the other people around you comfortable. Cause I feel that’s the messaging we get when we’re told you need to smile.

Brie Tucker: that is true. And I, and we both know, like, we, we joke about how I can’t handle people crying. Like, it makes me so incredibly uncomfortable because I do feel like that message has been so strongly put into me that like, you shouldn’t be sad. You, you need to not be sad. You need to be happy. You need to be pleasant, and you need to make everybody feel comfortable

JoAnn Crohn: That’s what a lot of women have. Okay, number two. This is told to celebrities on the red carpet, I notice. This is asked of women if they are out in public, alone, or if they’re out with girlfriends. It is the, who’s looking after your kids right now? Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh. First of all, My husband never gets this question asked of him ever, ever, ever. In fact, I’ve actually started, I’ve started asking dads who’s watching your kids right now, just for fun.

Brie Tucker: and do you ever get like a, kind of like a, a shocked face, like a deer in headlights? Like, what do you, what do you mean he was watching my

JoAnn Crohn: No, well, um, it was, my friend Shelby, her and her husband, Michael go to conferences. And I was just talking to Michael and I’m like, who’s watching the kids right now, Michael, because you’re not home because I mean, it’s very common in, at least like around the friend groups I have were female entrepreneurs.

And so, of course, like we’re used to this thing. We go to conferences, our husbands stay home and they’re handling everything when we’re gone. and that’s just a very like. forethought statement, you know, it’s a very, like it’s accepted. So that when I see an actual guy there with his wife, I’m like, why aren’t you at home?

Brie Tucker: Liz in the comments is saying, I’m teaching my kids to be

JoAnn Crohn: Oh yeah. Yeah. But celebrities get asked this too on the correct carpet. Women do who’s watching the kids right now. And like, even though, yeah, even like Kristen Bell will get asked it and yet Doc Shepherd will not.

Brie Tucker: Well, okay. So I 100 percent agree that that is a question that people don’t ask men in general. Like they don’t, they don’t ask who has the kids, where are the kids? and if you do run into a scenario where you know that one of the parents is a stay at home parent, people always look straight to the

JoAnn Crohn: Exactly.

Brie Tucker: to be the stay at home parent. And like, you have a friend, you were talking about this before, like you and Josh, one of your good

JoAnn Crohn: Oh, yeah. One of our good friends, like. he is the stay at home dad and his wife has a very, very high power position actually in our state government. And so it’s funny talking, to my husband who talks about his conversations with his friend and I’m purposefully keeping it anonymous. But, It’s the same exact things I talk about with my husband, but it’s coming from a guy.

And so I think that’s really helpful when I talk to my husband about things, he’s like, Oh, this isn’t like a gender thing. This is just the reality of a situation in raising kids. Like it is. Mentally and emotionally exhausting raising kids. And regardless if you’re a guy or a girl and the stay at home parent needs a lot of support and needs the support of their spouse as well. and we have. So like at least eight more for you. so find out what they are right after this.

So we’re talking about those things that frustrating questions. Women are asked out in public that aren’t asked of men. We are now on our number three on the list, which Brie tell us what it is.

Brie Tucker: Um, Hey, can you make snacks for the parents meeting? Like bake some cupcakes or, you know, make some of those delicious cookies. we really like chocolate chip. You’re like, I went, I went a little further into that

JoAnn Crohn: Well, it’s funny because Edith is the one who posted in our group about it. And she’s like, my husband is such a better baker than I am. And yet I get asked all the time if I could bake it just from being a woman. And it’s so like, so I was really proud last night, actually. my, my son wanted something sweet.

And sometimes we go out to Froyo, sometimes Dairy Queen and I’m like, yeah, I’m not, we’re not going tonight. I’m like, if you want something sweet, you can go like bake something. Not thinking he’d do it because he does not like bacon. He has said his extreme dislike against baking and that he hates doing it. And so he went to my, yeah, he hates it. And he’s never done it on his own before. He went to my daughter.

Brie Tucker: Yeah. Cause he normally does it with his

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah, he went to her and she couldn’t help because she was studying for finals. Boy took out the stand mixer, took out a cookbook, started making himself snickerdoodle cookies. I was like,

Brie Tucker: I love it. I love it. did my son

JoAnn Crohn: go? I loved it. I loved it. But it was like this split thing he did. it was like a total like 180 from his usual things because usually he gets really overwhelmed and he doesn’t have the confidence. Something that I’ve been trying to build in him for like, The past seven years, probably since he’s been Well,

Brie Tucker: look at that.

JoAnn Crohn: he did it, he did it. And I, my goal, I would love for him to like be the cook of the family. And I could just like, I’ve already, he’s already started by the way. He like is able to put things in the oven from the box. So I’m like, we’re, we’re getting somewhere, dude. And he’s actually able to, to make a really good Mac and cheese. Not out of the box, like, uh, really good. wow. I’m working on my oldest on my 17 year old son being able to cook things out of the box. He, uh, it’s not that he can’t, it’s that he honestly will just look at it and go, Yeah, peanut butter and jelly

Brie Tucker: sandwiches are fine.

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah, it’s like too much effort, too much effort. See, my, my, daughter’s a great baker, but when it comes to like actually making food, like meals, like you should, you know, eat, like stuff like that. No, like I can’t even get her to make something out of the box. She’s like, this is too hard. I’m like, did you read the instructions? No, it takes too much time. And I’m like, okay, but, sounds like your typical

Brie Tucker: teen

JoAnn Crohn: but it’s also like two completely, like you think gender norms, the women bake, the women provide the food and the guys do hell knows what, and,

Brie Tucker: Yep. You did. It is. It totally is expected, which actually like, yeah, that leads, I’m going to jump ahead on one because that leads into what I had listed as a number five, but it comes right on the heels of that. When I was in college, my college boyfriend’s parents told me, Oh honey, you don’t need a degree. You just need to learn how to cook and keep house better. Yes.

JoAnn Crohn: this was like the early two thousands too. I mean,

Brie Tucker: Yeah, yeah. I graduated in, I graduated college in oh two. So yeah, like it was, it was crazy. And I wasn’t like, I mean, I was in a sorority, which I love my sorority, go Alpha Gamma Deltas. but there were plenty of girls in there that had like no intention of doing well, little intention of doing a lot more with their degree after finding a husband and like moving on with that.

And it just, it’s something that nobody would have said to a guy and the fact too, that like his parents said that to me while we were both in college, Oh, he needed a degree, but I didn’t because all I had to do was learn how to cook and, and that wasn’t that uncommon. Again, I went to college in rural Missouri. That was not an uncommon thought process. Of like, oh, that’s so cute. That’s so cute you’re getting a degree, but that’s not needed. And again, like, it sounds like that’s, topical right now because of the whole Harrison, Buckler I never can say his name right.

JoAnn Crohn: Harrison Butker.

Brie Tucker: Yeah, it’s just, it’s, uh, anyway, it sounds topical because of that, but I mean, I also am going to point out that was in Kansas. I went to school in Missouri. Like it’s not a far, that was not a far jump

JoAnn Crohn: Well, I had, a high school friend who said she was going to college to get her MRS degree. And it’s really funny because she became a nurse and she’s a very, she got, she gets paid a lot as a nurse too. It’s, it’s a very demanding career. And that’s when she went into college with the idea. And so it’s just funny to me and she’s very, very talented and smart and like a hard worker all around.

But I mean, it was not uncommon for our generation to still think that. And even my daughter, I mean, I’ve told you things, she’s like, I think I just want to marry a rich baseball player. And I’m like, don’t you dare. Dare say that, like, no, you need to be able to support yourself and know how to support yourself. In addition to also relying in of people as well, because I don’t think we. Really emphasize that a lot. We do really need other people to survive and we should be relying on others. That is a total side note. I just had to put that in there.

Brie Tucker: Okay. Number four is a good one that you have on the list. Well, actually, I guess it’s number five now, cause I did

JoAnn Crohn: Oh yeah. So this was a comment made by Miyuki and she says, when you have a big family and comments are made about how to prevent that from happening. And I’ve seen this, I’ve totally seen this. I like, I have a friend who has nine kids. We have a friend who has four daughters. and, like, the comments that are made are just totally, not okay. Such as, like, oh, oh, do you not use birth control? Oh, do you, like So many rude things!

Brie Tucker: Also out here, like, I think an Arizona comment thing is like, Oh, oh, you have, you have five kids? Are you

JoAnn Crohn: Yes, that’s, that’s the question that gets asked out here. And it’s a ridiculous thing to be asking women about their personal beliefs and especially like personal sex lives. Like stay out of it.

Brie Tucker: Yeah. That is, that is crazy. But I think that that’s crazy you’re talking about like how people actually then move that next step of not only like having a comment about their big family, which isn’t any of your business, but then also on how to prevent it. Like, that is

JoAnn Crohn: From our Facebook group, Brittany also adds, or they ask, are all the kids yours? Also rude.

Brie Tucker: my gosh.

JoAnn Crohn: very rude.

Brie Tucker: Or even worse. Do they all have the same dad? That one, also, like, I have not met anybody that has, I’ve never seen anybody ask if all of the kids have the same mom before to a guy. But I have seen It’d be asked before to a single mom whether or not her kids all have the same

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah, and let’s just say like, it’s looked at in society as horrible for moms to have kids with different dads while as like, it’s barely glossed over if a dad has kids with separate moms, Nick Cannon, for instance, with, with all of his baby mamas, let’s just say that. But again, it’s none of people’s business, none of people’s business, We need to stop asking this of women, none of people’s business. And we have more for you coming up right after this.

So we’re talking about the frustrating things that women have to deal with to be told that men really don’t have to, and this on our list, number six, I was told this and I see it being told to a lot of women, but men look at you and they’re like, Oh, you look really tired today.

And I’m like, what? No, actually I’m just not wearing makeup today. Thank you so much. But it’s like this, this image that you portray as a woman. And like, I have huge, allergy eyes. I have dark circles under my eyes as well as like, they’re hereditary. A lot of women do it. And the concealer, like you have it too. Like. The concealer I have on is, supposed to be expected, just so I don’t get that tired comment. Cause that, bleh.

Brie Tucker: Well, I know, right? Like, and it is interesting because, yeah, I don’t, um, Other than my husband, I would never think to say that To a male, I would never have like, I’m thinking, and I’m going to say, like, unfortunately, I am probably part of that problem because I would say that, like, if, you were looking tired, I would probably say to you, are you, are you feeling okay? You look a little tired. And I would probably say that to my coworkers too. And I would mean it Out of a concerning place, but you’re right. It’s 100 percent being judged on how you look. and if I had a male coworker, which I, I mean, I have had male coworkers, if they look tired, I would never have thought to say that to

JoAnn Crohn: No! They’re not told

Brie Tucker: in a million years. And you’re in, yeah, and so it, I would have the same thing too, like whenever I would get migraines, people could tell because I would come into work that day and like you said, it would be the same thing. I didn’t put on like maybe my eye makeup because I was having a migraine and that takes far too much focus when you’re, you know, having a migraine. So people would be like, you don’t look good today. And I’m like, yeah, I have a migraine. Like I, I almost like that was like my, that was like my migraine makeup.

JoAnn Crohn: hmm.

Brie Tucker: It was half of my makeup for the day. I got half of it done, But that is so judgmental.

JoAnn Crohn: is really judgmental, and it’s like, I wonder why they don’t get that comment. Maybe because they look like crap every day. I don’t know.

Brie Tucker: Oh,

JoAnn Crohn: do not! That is my That is my That is my anger. That is my anger coming out of women getting judged by their appearance. And we have to like, take so much more effort in the morning. I mean, come on. When you see your husband, just get out of bed, shower, and he’s ready. And like, you have to get out of bed, shower, do something with your hair. Like this is a curling iron in my hair right now and dry shampoo in my hair. And then just the face routine of putting concealer on and like eyeshadow and there’s eyeliner and there’s mascara and there’s blush and there’s lipsticks so that like. All of that!

Brie Tucker: Well, and on my end, you completely skipped all of my moisturizing that’s had to go into double gear lately because my skin is dry as could

JoAnn Crohn: And we live in Arizona, so. Pfft. moisture, eye cream, all of it. Yeah, just so that I don’t get told. That I look tired or there is another one. I’m going to skip another one on our list or into this next one.

Brie Tucker: Oh, you look older than that. Oh, I thought you were older. Like, um, did you, do you really, did you really think that I was older? You did. Freaking suck. Like I

JoAnn Crohn: Let’s get into that a little bit. What do you mean? Like, people told you that, like, they don’t realize how young you are? Or, like, they thought you were, like, younger than you are?

Brie Tucker: No. No, they would be like, oh you look older. Oh, okay Thank you.

JoAnn Crohn: the God. God. God.

Brie Tucker: No, I mean people don’t okay so that that I have never And again, maybe, maybe I’m just like being like, I’m trying, I honestly am trying to reflect. Am I being biased on this? Am I like, I’m saying never, and it probably isn’t a never, but it’s really damn close to a never. Like, again, I haven’t asked a guy how old he is, or I don’t comment on a guy’s age. But, But, people feel free to comment on a woman’s age, I feel like constantly like, oh, she looks so, so, oh, you’re how old? Like, oh, she doesn’t look good for her age. Oh, she looks older or maybe if she’s lucky, she gets the, you look younger. Like, like you, like some people have a younger

JoAnn Crohn: I do get the, I look younger, but I have to say like, it screws me in the other direction because then people don’t take me seriously and that really, really gets to me. Like I was just checking out of a Walgreens the other day with my daughter and she’s like, Oh yeah, do you have an ID on you? I like, I was getting, I can’t remember what I was getting.

It wasn’t alcohol though. I wonder why she needed an ID. I’m not sure. Oh, she wanted to sign me up for a credit card besides the point, which I was like, no, I’m not getting a credit card right now. but she was going into it. She’s like, Oh wait, you’re how old? no, you look so young. You look so young.

I thought, and she points to my daughter. I thought you guys were sisters. I thought it like. Biggest you were like, maybe late twenties, early thirties. And I’m like, dude, can we just stop? And like, we go like, this is what I’m thinking. And I’m thinking that, but what I’m saying is like, Oh, you’re so nice. Oh, thank you. Thank you. And inside I am screaming because I am so sick of it. And then we get outside of the car and my daughter’s like. You look so young and like imitating a teenager, but it like, it doesn’t help us in any way because either we are young and naive or we are like old crones, which I am. I am an old crone.

Brie Tucker: Oh, that’s funny. Bum, um, bum thing. Cause they were her last name

JoAnn Crohn: is Crohn. Anyways.

Brie Tucker: No, I mean, it, Liz makes a comment in our Facebook group. Like right now while we’re recording, she’s like, and that’s none of your business. And it, you’re right. It isn’t anybody’s business how old you are, but yet it’s one of those things that gets said a lot about women, how they look for their age. And again, not really said to men. I mean, occasionally it is, but nowhere near the degree that it’s said about

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah,

Brie Tucker: like, gets to me. That flatters my

JoAnn Crohn: I get that from men and he’s like, oh you’re not old enough to know this and I like Get right in their face. I’m like, sir. I am 42 years old. You be quiet like Yeah

Brie Tucker: do note, like, okay, so I know a couple times I’ve said something, similar to that to you of, like, make a comment about me being, like, slightly older and you’ll, and I have seen, like, the flames come out of your eyes of the whole, like,

JoAnn Crohn: get waves Because I’ve spent my whole life Yeah,

Brie Tucker: it is. It’s funny, cause, yeah, yeah, it, yeah, and I, I’m saying it’s funny because like to me, like I don’t, I don’t see it that way, but the same, but that’s why I get pissed if anybody says that I look older, cause I’ve always been told that my whole life.

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah. See you look like you don’t look older I would say you just look like you have it together like you were an adult You That’s, like, what I would I’d probably put my Priy was drinking, and I think it almost came out of her nose with that one. 

Brie Tucker:  I’m the least put together adult in the room nine times out of ten, but that’s okay! I play one on TV. So there you go. That

JoAnn Crohn: goes.

Brie Tucker: is how that goes. All right. All right. On to number eight. Now I added this one in, but don’t you agree? Like you see it all the time.

JoAnn Crohn: yeah. Oh, yeah. What do you do? You don’t work?

Brie Tucker: Oh, you don’t work. Okay. Like it would, or, or like somebody says like, you know, Oh, so what do you do? Oh, I take care of like, I take care of my kids. Oh, so you don’t work. Excuse me. You have, you have no idea what goes into

JoAnn Crohn: I think this is told to women by other women as well And I think like we as women are being pitted against each other in society to be like working mom Versus stay at home mom, even the fact that there are those titles associated with both of them is like prime To put women against each other.

Cause we don’t really have work at home dad, a stay at home dad, although those do exist, but they’re not like in society predominantly. They’re not like everywhere around. And it’s this whole Harrison Bucker thing too, about, how. A lot of stay at home moms came out and thought that like, Especially me on my comments.

I got like, yeah, the feminists just don’t want like women to stay at home and they don’t think it’s good for women to stay at home. And I’m like, that’s, that’s not it at all. it’s just about choices because stay at home moms work just as hard. As working moms, we are all giving it everything we have every single day and we are exhausted and we are just done with it all.

And so the fact that like there’s these two groups going against each other, it really doesn’t need to be that way.

Brie Tucker: no, not at all. And I think we’ve been doing better ish, like, in society of, acknowledging that we need to be working together and not so separate, but I do think that there’s, like, definitely that cultural divide, that politically cultural divide that’s kind of going on right now that makes it

JoAnn Crohn: I think it’s a messaging thing. And I almost think like it’s a messaging thing by political leaders to polarize it. So that they will like Go and vote for them because they uphold family values. And I’m like, guys, these political leaders are making an issue out of something that does not have to be an issue. Like, it’s not an issue.

Brie Tucker: It doesn’t. need to be. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. For sure. Okay. Number nine. This one I know is a personal one

JoAnn Crohn: Oh my gosh, I get, uh, you’re so tall, you should play basketball. You don’t play basketball? What I used to get this asked of me all the time. I’m five, nine. And, I am like the clutziest person you have ever met. Like, you don’t want me near a basketball or on a basketball team. I would trip over my own two feet, honestly.

and I’ve always been that way. In fact, my parents were told by a preschool teacher to put me in gymnastics to get me some kind of coordination and my life. I mean, you know, it’s bad when the teachers are telling you, you’re very smart. And I still do it. I’m the one who walks into walls. I’m the one who like injures myself doing really stupid stuff. not like dangerous stuff more. Like I just got a huge bruise on my knee because I was doing split squats and I was banging my knee on the floor too hard. Each time I went down for a split Scott, because that is my sense of body awareness. That is what

Brie Tucker: know what a split squat is, but I know that I wouldn’t

JoAnn Crohn: It’s like a, it’s a lunge, but you don’t like you keep your, your feet in place. When you’re doing the lunge, it’s called the split squat. It’s isolating, each gluteus muscle so that you can work them individually. And they suck. They’re horrible. Anything that isolates one side of your body, it’s a hard exercise. But, also like my daughter’s taller than me. I’m pretty sure she’s pretty top. She’s topping probably six one now, even though she would not want to admit it. But, Every time somebody meets her, every single time, it’s like, you’re so tall. that’s the first thing they say. And like,it’s,

Brie Tucker: She’s like, I love being defined by my

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah. So we talk about that a lot and I, I like talk with her about things to prepare herself for it. And she’s like, yeah, I’m pretty used to it right now. I just know to expect it whenever somebody comes up to me and she’s like, yeah, I’m tall. And I’m like, yeah, that’s all you can really do for it. But like men get commented on their height too. Like if they’re six, seven or six, five or something extraordinary. And I guess six one is extraordinary, but like. It’s just so hard. It’s so hard. It’s

Brie Tucker: Yeah, you know her struggle. You know her struggle, and it’s harder when you know the struggle that they’re dealing with for sure. Yeah. Yeah, which actually leads into our number 10 and which by the way, these were not ranked by the most frustrating or anything. They were just like, as they popped into our heads.

So as we were writing everything down, I was like, Oh my God, I used to get this one all the time from my ex husband. But in general, women get it a lot. You ready? Number 10. Oh, you’re being so sensitive. Oh, quit being so sensitive. Yeah. Oh, right. Like seriously, hands up in podcast world, who is sick and tired of any time you show any emotion, either being like offended by something somebody said, or hurt by something somebody said, which aren’t always the same hurt and offended.

Aren’t always the same thing. or just getting like really animated about something. Oh, you’re being too. Whatever. Too sensitive, too big, too whatever.

JoAnn Crohn: it comes in place of apologies to like, you say something that bothered you and the other person, instead of saying, I’m so sorry for saying that I was being insensitive. They come at you being like, Oh, don’t be so sensitive. I didn’t mean it that way. Like that is like, it’s actually something that’s mentioned in the book, queen bees and wannabes by Rosalind Wiseman, looking at teen culture and teens used to do, they still do this.

they use a different term now, but they say like, Oh, I was just joking. Like they’d say something offensive and be like, Oh, I was just joking. I was just joking. Can’t you take a joke? And it kind of goes along those lines of being too sensitive. Like, can’t you take a joke?

Brie Tucker: Nope. Nope. Nope. It’s not a joke. Quit trying to gaslight me and act like you weren’t trying to be freaking offensive. Like you weren’t trying to poke at me, hurt my feelings, decrease my self worth. 100 percent what you were trying to do

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah. And now Gen Z, the phrase that’s used as it’s not that deep. have, you heard that yet? It’s not that deep. It’s not that deep. And that’s like.

Brie Tucker: because maybe I haven’t heard it yet because my daughter knows I would probably like lunge at her if

JoAnn Crohn: Oh, yeah. Talk to her about that. Be like, tell me what is the it’s not that deep mean? Because that’s what like if you have any concern or anything and I’ve talked to my daughter about this I like had a concern. She’s like mom. It’s not that deep. I’m like, let’s stop right there Let’s talk about this comment right here Because this is exactly the same as I was just joking. Can’t you take a joke exactly the same? It was like you are reading too much into this. How dare you? And I have no fault in the situation whatsoever. And that’s what it’s saying. That’s what it’s saying. Yeah. So we hope you’ve enjoyed yes.

Brie Tucker: Well, yeah, I’m curious, I would love for people to, leave us a review, leave us comments wherever you listen to this podcast. I want to know, what did we miss on this list? What is something that is frustrating to you that has been said to you in public that we did not have on this list? Or go on our Instagram, share,

JoAnn Crohn: join our podcast, Facebook group.

Brie Tucker: Yes!

JoAnn Crohn: find so many women in there, just like you, ones who are listening right now to us, record this live, who were shouting out on air. I mean, so far in this episode, let’s shout out Liz and Suzanne and Brittany. They are all here live. And Donna and Christina, and we have more, but those are the ones who are commented. So they’re the only ones I could see. So come on over and join. We have tons of fun and you’ll get to hang out with us live when we record our episodes and until next time, remember the best mom is a happy mom. Take care of you. We’ll talk to you later.

Brie Tucker: Thanks for stopping by.

Brie Tucker

COO/ Podcast Producer at No Guilt Mom
Brie Tucker has over 20 years of experience coaching parents with a background in early childhood and special needs. She holds a B.S. in Psychology from the University of Central Missouri and is certified in Positive Discipline as well as a Happiest Baby Educator.

She’s a divorced mom to two teenagers.

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